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Author Topic: This secret life we lead?  (Read 7037 times)

Offline paulkee

Apart from other punters, working girls, and everyone reading this forum, does the stigma of buying and selling sex mean that your punting life is kept completely secret from everyone that you know?

For me only a handful of close friends know about my habit, which I've had for most of my adult life. They think that one day I'll meet someone nice, settle down, and stop. It hasn't happened yet in 20+ years so I'm not so sure.

So for the most part do we, that is everyone on this board, lead a secret double life that very few, if any, people know about? And is that why we're here?





Buying sex from prostitutes is something that should never be disclosed to anyone, not even close friends. It carries a stigma and could always come and bite you at some point.

Offline ghighi

Once a adult male starting buy sex from prostitutes, it is very hard to stop, i met some punter who want to end this secret life but they just cant. The prostitutes knows how to please a men and make you come back to them. Punting is like gambling. I agree the punting life shouldnt be disclose to anyone even the close frds who dont have punting habit.

Online Jimmyredcab

Buying sex from prostitutes is something that should never be disclosed to anyone, not even close friends. It carries a stigma and could always come and bite you at some point.

Really  :scare:

I have never kept my hobby a secret from anyone, why on earth should I.     :unknown:

Offline Panda989

A very select few close friends who live very far away from me know what I do when on the road. And they are my mates not family friends.

I agree it's a habit and to keep it from getting the better of me I make sure to only partake whilst out of the country.

At the end of the day I see it as an easy way to keep things in perspective. I very much enjoy myself but make sure that I never take it too far.

When I was a younger man I had a rule that I would never date a girl in the same post code as me, and I have just molded that to this part of my life.

Online jackdaw

I've never told anybody.

Been tempted once or twice, because a few mates show all the signs of needing a good shag, and most likely a few pointers might help them out.

But... I've usually found when I tell somebody something in confidence... they tell just one other person they really trust, who..... And a week later I'm coming to conclusion I might as well have taken out a full page advert.

So, now I keep things to myself that I don't want to be known widely.

Why don't I want my punting activities widely known? Because I'm really not sure how most of my friends and family would react. On balance I don't want to risk any "ructions".... though as I've admitted earlier that I've been tempted to tell a few close friends.

I find it strange how people talk openly about visiting Thailand, A'DAM, Prague ect, & then think it wrong to  visit a WG here  :dash:

Offline Matium

Apart from other punters, working girls, and everyone reading this forum, does the stigma of buying and selling sex mean that your punting life is kept completely secret from everyone that you know?

For me only a handful of close friends know about my habit, which I've had for most of my adult life. They think that one day I'll meet someone nice, settle down, and stop. It hasn't happened yet in 20+ years so I'm not so sure.

So for the most part do we, that is everyone on this board, lead a secret double life that very few, if any, people know about? And is that why we're here?

Married men have to be extremely discreet as they will lose everything if their wife ever finds out.

Single men can do as they please as they have nothing to lose.

Really  :scare:

I have never kept my hobby a secret from anyone, why on earth should I.     :unknown:

It obviously depends on your situation. If you are single and work alone, say driving a cab, that is totally different to working in a large office with all the women thinking you are a sad pervert.

Online jackdaw

It obviously depends on your situation. If you are single and work alone, say driving a cab, that is totally different to working in a large office with all the women thinking you are a sad pervert.

Or upsetting  aged friends and relatives... whose views and standards may be archaic... but you still cherish them anyway. Not everything is about pleasing the wife!

Offline Melb

Tightly kept secret for me.
I would lose my wife, my home, my job, my seat in the House, my Knighthood, my congregation and my budgie.

Online Jimmyredcab

I find it strange how people talk openly about visiting Thailand, A'DAM, Prague ect, & then think it wrong to  visit a WG here  :dash:

Pride.
Has no one ever said to you "I would never pay for sex".
Everyone pays for sex, one way or another, married men pay the most  ---- especially when the divorce happens.   :scare:

Offline yumyum3

Quote
Everyone pays for sex, one way or another, married men pay the most  ---- especially when the divorce happens.
:D Or even when it doesn't. The sexy lovely on the arm of a "successful" rich man charges a high price indeed.
And to the OP, who's "we"?  :unknown:

Offline pokenn

For me it's my guilt secret. I just know that almost everyone I know would be offended or in some cases devastated.

Offline paulkee

And to the OP, who's "we"?  :unknown:


So for the most part do we, that is everyone on this board, lead a secret double life that very few, if any, people know about? And is that why we're here?

Online Jimmyredcab

I sometimes feel that I am the only person in the world who is actually PROUD to be a punter.   :drinks:


Offline Uglybugball



I enjoy the clandestine element to punting.  :thumbsup:

Planning, setting up, preparation and completion.  :kissgirl:

Who knows where it may lead! Meeting new people and a guaranteed shag.  :hi:

At least I can tell you guys about it.

Offline smiths

For the first 20 years of my punting i told no one and knew no other punters. Only when i went to sex parties and joined punting forums did i meet others and make some punting mates.

My advice to any punter who has anything to lose, be it a family and/or a job or whatever is think very carefully before telling anyone. I did nearly tell a good mate many years ago but thank god i didnt because we had a terminal and very bitter falling out and he would certainly have told my then partner and others which is not something that i would of wanted in those days.


Offline Dani

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It must be very hard being a punter. No I am not being sarcastic I actually mean it after thinking about this thread for a few hours.  Having to keep secrets is so very hard to do especially when it comes to sexual antics.  We always want to tell someone when we have had an amazing session. It is human nature to share our experiences.  I do not think I could do it tbh.  It would drive me crazy. Plus I am crap at lying so would never get away with it.
I suppose you do have here to come and talk but it is not the same as having a beer or two and chatting about it with mates. 
I am lucky as the only people I have to lie to are my parents but they live a few hundred miles away and I only see them a couple of times a year and it is hard then when they ask about work as I alway have to change the subject.  I do not envy any of you as it must be terribly difficult to keep to yourself and have to lie about where you are going/have been etc.

Offline paulkee

I'd like to make it clear that I LOVE punting. I enjoy the fact that its a bit hush-hush.

I'm lucky enough that I'm not married. My parents and other family members are of an age where we get on well but lead very seperate lives, so only the very occasional whitest of lies are necessary. Sometimes the financials are hard to explain, but that's my business.

My very good friends who know what I do are just that and I have no concern whatsoever that they will always be discreet. Many I know either directly from visiting Thailand or think my habit began when I first visited Thailand, where punting is part of the fabric of society and therefore not frowned upon at all.

And I work on the whole with the Chinese. Who have the same attitude as the Thais.

Having said all that nobody knows the real extent or details of my punting life and that's why I'm glad that I've found this forum.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2013, 05:04:24 PM by paulkee »

Curious6705

Never felt the need to confide in anyone, and it has never bothered me that others do not know about my participation in this hobby.

Happy to chat with other punters at a party like LMP. Almost the best part of the LMP experience, for me, is what I see as its overall friendliness. But I don't know these punters, and will probably never meet them again, even at LMP. For two hours I treat them as my best friends, as I do the hostesses, then I walk out the door and apart from the fantastic memories, which will live with me forever, to all intents and purposes it never happened.

Offline pokenn

It must be very hard being a punter. No I am not being sarcastic I actually mean it after thinking about this thread for a few hours.  Having to keep secrets is so very hard to do especially when it comes to sexual antics.  We always want to tell someone when we have had an amazing session. It is human nature to share our experiences.  I do not think I could do it tbh.  It would drive me crazy. Plus I am crap at lying so would never get away with it.
I suppose you do have here to come and talk but it is not the same as having a beer or two and chatting about it with mates. 
I am lucky as the only people I have to lie to are my parents but they live a few hundred miles away and I only see them a couple of times a year and it is hard then when they ask about work as I alway have to change the subject.  I do not envy any of you as it must be terribly difficult to keep to yourself and have to lie about where you are going/have been etc.

No, I do not find the secrecy difficult. I can share as much as I want to on UKP. But, TBH if UKP weren't there I would not feel a desperate urge to share my punting experiences.

I can see all angles of the discussion in this thread,all are valid,in an ideal world i wish I could talk openly like JRC but I can't  and never will be able to. My only thoughts  are that should I die unexpectedly that I can protect those I care about from hurt. So I have a "doomsday" letter in care with my will - it will be sent to 2 separate friends I can trust and contains instructions on how to find my punting phone and passwords etc for forums etc so my online persona can be totally deleted (apart from here due to rules)and messages to post before they do this,I'm 100% certain that  the people I've selected would do this discreetly.

Some may think this creepy or excessive ,but I knew of a WG who died suddenly,her partner knew what she did but it took him over 12 months to get access to some of her accounts as he didn't know the passwords  etc.

Its a lot like punting really,plan for the worst and it can only get better!!

Blackburnian

Offline paulkee

Agreed with both posts above, we all know one of the differences between boys and girls is that we don't feel the need to flap our gums about everything all the time; although I seem to do a good job sometimes...

That's what makes us better, in the main, at keeping secrets and confidences I would say, and perhaps even dealing with guilt or lack of it.

Plus we've all got stuff on our best friends that we know they wouldn't want their wives/families/colleagues to know so there's that unwritten rule that exists that is rarely broken, even if you have a horrendous fallout.

Offline paulkee

I can see all angles of the discussion in this thread,all are valid,in an ideal world i wish I could talk openly like JRC but I can't  and never will be able to. My only thoughts  are that should I die unexpectedly that I can protect those I care about from hurt. So I have a "doomsday" letter in care with my will - it will be sent to 2 separate friends I can trust and contains instructions on how to find my punting phone and passwords etc for forums etc so my online persona can be totally deleted (apart from here due to rules)and messages to post before they do this,I'm 100% certain that  the people I've selected would do this discreetly.

Some may think this creepy or excessive ,but I knew of a WG who died suddenly,her partner knew what she did but it took him over 12 months to get access to some of her accounts as he didn't know the passwords  etc.

Its a lot like punting really,plan for the worst and it can only get better!!

Blackburnian

Sensible move.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2013, 11:23:40 PM by paulkee »


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