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Author Topic: Odd things that hoors have said...  (Read 3358 times)

Had a nice session with a cute Thai girl,  and she asked me to go down in her. Glad to oblige since many Thai girls won't do RO (or if they do they want more cash). After a pleasant few minutes I went to move away and she pushed my head back saying "don't, I havent cum yet" which in all my punting years has never been said to me before.

That got me thinking of other odd or unusual things prossies have said to me. I came in one girls mouth, she swallowed it, licked my cock clean then called me a bastard as she hated the taste of cum.

One girl told me we could only fuck doggie as she had a deformed pelvis which meant she was unable to open her legs properly.

One girl gave such a good BJ that (sooner than I would have liked) I came in her mouth. She complained that that meant I wasn't going to fuck her....... because she was constipated and hoped a good fuck would make her go!
« Last Edit: July 31, 2016, 04:30:07 PM by catweazle »

Offline ickydicky

that was wonderful. the best sex i have ever had. please take your money back :crazy: :wacko:
Banning reason: Previously banned (stevieshake)

Offline berksboy

Stop licking my clit or i will hit the ceiling ! I did not believe her and i love eating pussy.

Stop licking my clit or i will hit the ceiling ! I did not believe her and i love eating pussy.

and  she was clearly enjoying it!

Offline bigbird83

Was told by one girl she couldn't get on top because the mattress was too soft  :unknown:

Offline snowbum

I remember a cute Thai girl who was very new to scene asking me to wear 2 condoms as a precaution  :sarcastic:

Offline talln1ck

A WG once told me she enjoyed it so much she wanted to go again for free.

I couldn't beleive my luck.

Unfortunately, I had to go because I was on a tight deadline to get back to the OH!

Bloody fool.  I should have fucked her again anyway.
Banning reason: Member of malicious anti-UKP forum

Offline cristot

A girl who said "I really hate this bit" as I handed her £200.........
Banning reason: Troll

Offline fairfield

EE was drilling so hard in CG that i  turned purple and had to shout "Stop!" - (not before managed to come tho.)
She asked "are you ok? You need doctor?" Replied just need to catch my breath. She scolded "This why i not see old men."
As crawled out from under her, she spoilt occasion by demanding "You finish? What about ME!" with her hands balled into fists on her hips.
Think their 'bedside manner' needs improving.
   
 

Offline RedKettle

on one of my very first punts:

"Does your wife know you are seeing me?"

A girl who was new to the game once said she liked sex and liked meeting new people therefore it was the ideal job for her, she didn't last long.

Another girl with hairy nipples  :vomit: said she liked them and wasn't going to pluck them out as it was something different to most girls, yeah correct on that one

Then there was the girl who was trying to justify to me (or herself more like) who said "there's nothing wrong with what I do, i'm not a slag you know", yeah right more tea vicar  :D

Offline Jerboa

Had a nice session with a cute Thai girl,  and she asked me to go down in her. Glad to oblige since many Thai girls won't do RO (or if they do they want more cash). After a pleasant few minutes I went to move away and she pushed my head back saying "don't, I havent cum yet" which in all my punting years has never been said to me before.

That got me thinking of other odd or unusual things prossies have said to me. I came in one girls mouth, she swallowed it, licked my cock clean then called me a bastard as she hated the taste of cum.

One girl told me we could only fuck doggie as she had a deformed pelvis which meant she was unable to open her legs properly.

One girl gave such a good BJ that (sooner than I would have liked) I came in her mouth. She complained that that meant I wasn't going to fuck her....... because she was constipated and hoped a good fuck would make her go!

Did she also say, "you handsome man, I lub you to mutt" as for girls scolding for not cumming yet, tell them to pay you first lol.

One WG in the Adelphi Hotel - The room was well lived in, stank of sweat, cheap deodorant and stale food. "Dont mind the pizza boxes, i know it looks a mess but im homeless."

My very first visit to Sakura back in 2010. I unload into the condom, she takes it off, holds it up next to her face, waggles it and says "look, my son is in there" before tossing it into the bin.

Offline RedKettle

I was reminded of this when reading the thread on having the right money - www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=106110.0

I used to very regularly see a young woman in Nottingham called Kylie - was a lovely girl but disappeared a couple of years ago.  On a visit near one Christmas I overpaid her by £10, actually I think by mistake.  She pointed it out and fluffy that I am I said she could keep it as a Christmas tip.  She said thanks but she would feel bad keeping it and gave me the tenner back!!!

Offline stevedave

on one of my very first punts:

"Does your wife know you are seeing me?"

 :lol:  :lol: :lol:

Yeah love, she's waiting for me in the car, crack on, we've got to pick the kids up in half an hour  :D

Offline ickydicky

:lol:  :lol: :lol:

Yeah love, she's waiting for me in the car, crack on, we've got to pick the kids up in half an hour  :D


good un :yahoo:
Banning reason: Previously banned (stevieshake)

Offline paul_b_1977

I was reminded of this when reading the thread on having the right money - www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=106110.0

I used to very regularly see a young woman in Nottingham called Kylie - was a lovely girl but disappeared a couple of years ago.  On a visit near one Christmas I overpaid her by £10, actually I think by mistake.  She pointed it out and fluffy that I am I said she could keep it as a Christmas tip.  She said thanks but she would feel bad keeping it and gave me the tenner back!!!

Ouch!

"Don't call me Paki" "I'm of Indian heritage, I hate being called a Paki"
(I hadnt called her anything at all, she just started randomly ranting)


Her AW name was something like 'Princess Paki' or similar  :dash:

Offline paul_b_1977

"Don't call me Paki" "I'm of Indian heritage, I hate being called a Paki"
(I hadnt called her anything at all, she just started randomly ranting)


Her AW name was something like 'Princess Paki' or similar  :dash:

That's brilliant  :lol:

Online webpunter

One girl gave such a good BJ that (sooner than I would have liked) I came in her mouth. She complained that that meant I wasn't going to fuck her....... because she was constipated and hoped a good fuck would make her go!
Front bottom or back bottom ?  :lol:

Offline mh

One girl gave such a good BJ that (sooner than I would have liked) I came in her mouth. She complained that that meant I wasn't going to fuck her....... because she was constipated and hoped a good fuck would make her go!
Front bottom or back bottom ?  :lol:

 :vomit:

The Human Enema - a new movie franchise to rival The Human Centipede...  :D


''So......how many women have you seen?''   :thumbsdown:


Offline Jerboa

''So......how many women have you seen?''   :thumbsdown:

And your answer should be "how many blokes have you seen luv"  :P

Offline LL

I came in a girls mouth recently (not a girl I've reviewed) and I asked her to swallow it. She spat it into the bin next to the bed and told me that she normally swallows but she's just eaten! Surely she could have found room for my "dessert" :lol:
« Last Edit: August 03, 2016, 06:08:57 PM by LL »


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