All very Wizard of Oz don't you think?
Scarecrow Troll needs a brain, Tinsel Town Tart is missing a heart, and a Cowardly Alias wants courage. Now Poorman Punter needs a phone.
What puzzles me is that he manages to fuck prostitutes but can also sit around twiddling his thumbs asking about how to do without phones instead of just buying one.
Hey -- Don't forget to buy some condoms on the way back from Tesco's. They come in packets of three. (Uh oh... I feel a new thread coming on....
"Help please... I really want to punt but only have enough money to do it once. I need to take a condom in case Miss Princess-le-slagbag has run out; but they just seem to come in packs of three. Can anyone tell me where I can buy one condom please? I'm new here and really want your thought on this guys."