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Author Topic: Punting When “You Have No Reason To”  (Read 4108 times)

Offline MrLo

I’ve been on this website lurking for a while now, reading reviews and taking the advice of many experienced UKP members on how to punt safely. However I was hoping to get some advice on something I could not see clearly answered in other forum posts (apologies if I have missed it).

The idea of seeing a WG has interested me for a few years now, and so I’ve looked into it on this site and on AW. I have everything ready from a disposable £5 PAYG phone, to alibis for being spotted in areas and a HL to tick off.

My only issue is this “feeling” I get telling me not to do it which is really off-putting. I’ve read on threads in the site that people do it because their partner doesn’t put out, they are in an unhappy relationship, they are single etc, however I do not fit into any of those “justifiable” categories.

I’m currently with a girl who is more than willing to have sex at any time, which I am attracted to. I’m happy being in the relationship, which is steady and I can see it lasting for the foreseeable future.

The thing is I’ve only ever had sex with this one girl and i'm now in my very early 30's. I get a feeling that I may have missed out on other experiences with other women and the idea of punting really begins to appeal to me because:

- I can pick and choose the women I want (many of which I would never have the guts to speak to in real life or even have a chance with)
- In theory if all goes well there are no lose ends and nobody bar WG would ever know (therefore I wouldn’t have to worry about rumours etc)
- Although physically cheating, emotionally etc I would not be (therefore it would not get messy like an affair where another person’s feelings are also involved)

My issue is that I have a feeling that I would feel some sort of massive guilt if I start to punt, which could destroy the relationship I currently have and my general mood.

Does anybody have experiences or advice they can share where they have started punting and how it affected them? Did nothing change in you/your relationship? Did it maybe make things better? Did it riddle you with guilt and ruin things?
Banned reason: Troll contributed fuck all in 3 years
Banned by: Ali Katt

Offline Romeo Sensini

I am new to punting and posting on here. I've been through all the emotions you describe at the end of your post and have to say that having taken the leap I havent felt any crushing guilt or any other negative feelings. I have been with my wife for 30 years but just knew that I wanted more of a sex life but didnt want divorce and all that palaver. The trick for me is telling myself that sex is just a pleasureable function (like going for a pint) and is nothing to do with love or marriage. Having said that, I am certain my wife would disagree so its worth the time and effort to be very careful about doing it.

Reading some of the posts/reviews on here it seems for some its a bit of a sport (and for some a mission!) but everyones entitled to get what they want from it.

Someone much cleverer than me once said its better to regret the things you have done, than to regret those you havent.

Diehard

  • Guest
Chaps, it's dead simple. If she doesn't find out then you have nothing to feel guilty about.

In any event she won't feel guilty cheating on you and draining your income to be kept in a lifestyle she considered appropriate.

Get yourself a non smartphone pay as you go, keep the phone at work and happy punting.

Avoid Eastern Europeans.

Gspotter

  • Guest
It would be very odd if you ate the same food or wore the same clothes everyday. Similarly, for me the main reason I have sex with different people is the diversity of the experience.
However, because of the traditional evolution of humans from primates we are meant to be monogamous and provide for our partner who concentrates on child rearing. This is no longer an absolute in contemporary society but there is still a hang up about having sex with someone other than your partner. How you handle it and how much you share with your partner is up to you to decide. If you feel you are going to be wracked by guilt you should think carefully before seeing a WG. 

Online RedKettle

If you have no reason to then don't.

If you want to shag a variety of women then do.  That is a reason.

You are over thinking it.

Offline peter purves

I’ve been on this website lurking for a while now, reading reviews and taking the advice of many experienced UKP members on how to punt safely. However I was hoping to get some advice on something I could not see clearly answered in other forum posts (apologies if I have missed it).

The idea of seeing a WG has interested me for a few years now, and so I’ve looked into it on this site and on AW. I have everything ready from a disposable £5 PAYG phone, to alibis for being spotted in areas and a HL to tick off.

My only issue is this “feeling” I get telling me not to do it which is really off-putting. I’ve read on threads in the site that people do it because their partner doesn’t put out, they are in an unhappy relationship, they are single etc, however I do not fit into any of those “justifiable” categories.

I’m currently with a girl who is more than willing to have sex at any time , which I am attracted to. I’m happy being in the relationship, which is steady and I can see it lasting for the foreseeable future.

The thing is I’ve only ever had sex with this one girl and i'm now in my very early 30's. I get a feeling that I may have missed out on other experiences with other women and the idea of punting really begins to appeal to me because:

- I can pick and choose the women I want (many of which I would never have the guts to speak to in real life or even have a chance with)
- In theory if all goes well there are no lose ends and nobody bar WG would ever know (therefore I wouldn’t have to worry about rumours etc)
- Although physically cheating, emotionally etc I would not be (therefore it would not get messy like an affair where another person’s feelings are also involved)

My issue is that I have a feeling that I would feel some sort of massive guilt if I start to punt, which could destroy the relationship I currently have and my general mood.

Does anybody have experiences or advice they can share where they have started punting and how it affected them? Did nothing change in you/your relationship? Did it maybe make things better? Did it riddle you with guilt and ruin things?

This is a difficult one and I see you have been toying with the idea for a few years. So it seems as if it is something you wish to do. However, you are experiencing a Jekyll and Hyde phenomenon which has delayed you seeing a WG.

I am not sure what to say, you come across like someone who will experience 'guilt'. Personally, I think it is hard not to experience guilt when in a relationship but eventually the feelings wear off and you justify to yourself your behaviour (otherwise you suffer cognitive dissonance ie behaving contrary to one's own attitude).

As for missing out, I am not so sure but I understand why you may have the perception as such. Perhaps reading posts here has created this impression.

So this is where you are at?

All the best mate
« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 01:15:15 pm by peter purves »
Banned reason: Can't / won't take advice.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline bushman

If you have any doubt don't do it.
Me, well I am obsess with the taste of fanny, and i like numbers.

ickydicky

  • Guest
If you have no reason to then don't.

If you want to shag a variety of women then do.  That is a reason.

You are over thinking it.

thats it in a nutshell. if you dont want to fuck young fit women then dont punt. if, on the other hand, you are normal then get in there my son :yahoo: :drinks:

carefree

  • Guest
I’ve been on this website lurking for a while now, reading reviews and taking the advice of many experienced UKP members on how to punt safely. However I was hoping to get some advice on something I could not see clearly answered in other forum posts (apologies if I have missed it).

The idea of seeing a WG has interested me for a few years now, and so I’ve looked into it on this site and on AW. I have everything ready from a disposable £5 PAYG phone, to alibis for being spotted in areas and a HL to tick off.

My only issue is this “feeling” I get telling me not to do it which is really off-putting. I’ve read on threads in the site that people do it because their partner doesn’t put out, they are in an unhappy relationship, they are single etc, however I do not fit into any of those “justifiable” categories.

I’m currently with a girl who is more than willing to have sex at any time, which I am attracted to. I’m happy being in the relationship, which is steady and I can see it lasting for the foreseeable future.

The thing is I’ve only ever had sex with this one girl and i'm now in my very early 30's. I get a feeling that I may have missed out on other experiences with other women and the idea of punting really begins to appeal to me because:

- I can pick and choose the women I want (many of which I would never have the guts to speak to in real life or even have a chance with)
- In theory if all goes well there are no lose ends and nobody bar WG would ever know (therefore I wouldn’t have to worry about rumours etc)
- Although physically cheating, emotionally etc I would not be (therefore it would not get messy like an affair where another person’s feelings are also involved)

My issue is that I have a feeling that I would feel some sort of massive guilt if I start to punt, which could destroy the relationship I currently have and my general mood.

Does anybody have experiences or advice they can share where they have started punting and how it affected them? Did nothing change in you/your relationship? Did it maybe make things better? Did it riddle you with guilt and ruin things?

Want my advice?

Just man up :hi:

Offline Happyjose

Want my advice?

Just man up :hi:

This.

Many of us do it for the same reason a dog licks its balls

JimmRed

  • Guest
2 cents I am in a similar boat cept my OH isn't interested ATM, after my first punt in Feb I told all, we went through a massive bust up and it took a week to pull it all back together. Essentially I'd recommend talking to your OH about what you want from your sex life, perhaps naughty nurses or whatever it is, see if she can do it before you launch yourself off.

Then if you find it's still not being scratched as it were (as in my case) then stay in love but find some WG who can scratch that itch (hopefully not literally).

Offline Rockhead

MrLo - I was in EXACTLY the same position when I was my early 30s, so I know precisely how you feel.

I wanted at least the experience of being with 'other' women. Thankfully, my partner at the time was extremely open-minded and wasn't bothered if it was a one-off.

And you know what? It turned out that a one-off was all that I needed. After that, I never again had the desire to 'stray from the path'. Once that relationship ended (many years later) I felt no guilt returning to punting, which I've been doing on an occasional basis ever since.

I would say - do it. It may turn out that doing it once is all you need.

Offline OakTree

If you have no reason to then don't.

If you want to shag a variety of women then do.  That is a reason.

You are over thinking it.
 

I think that sums it up perfectly.  :hi:

ickydicky

  • Guest
can we get this right. you told your oh about your first punt. :dash:

Offline The Vicar of Dibley


Someone much cleverer than me once said its better to regret the things you have done, than to regret those you havent.

I went through a similar thought process for a few years. Kept thinking to myself "I have only slept with 4 women in my life and am now in my mid 40's. Is this it ??" Looked at escort sights and always meant to book one but never did.
Then one day I woke up, manned up, and said to myself "Oh FFS try it! Book a girl! If I don't like it I will never do it again. But stop all this shall I, shan't I bollocks" So I booked an English lady of a similar age to myself, with good reviews, explained it was my first punt and loved every minute of it !!

I now tend to punt about once a month and look upon it as a hobby. Some people bet on horses, some people follow a football team all round the country, some people collect stamps, others tend a garden or breed whippets. I like to slip into a bit of strange / new pussy every once in a while.


Offline Rockhead

can we get this right. you told your oh about your first punt. :dash:

She knew, yeah, and in fact it was partly her own idea - that was a pretty special relationship, very open-minded, and she was a bit of a one-off herself. I obviously wouldn't recommend this to anyone else.

Offline regular_guy

IF you want to do it then you need to do it when all doubts have cleared - else the guilt will hit you when you are in the middle of a punt.

Make a choice,  you do it or don't do it.  If you don't then fine,  nothing ventured,  but you've got the clear conscience.

If you do go ahead with it,  then do it fully and properly with no doubts or guilt,  then you will have a great time (if you choose the right WG that is).

Any doubt then i think you will end up having a poor time.

I see where your coming from though.

Offline ayreon010

Just do whatever you want.
The funny thing for me is that I have a short list of regulars spread across the country but when you look at AW its often like a kid in a candy shop.

Should I go for the safe option or try something new

punther

  • Guest
Punting is emotionless sex

To me..its on par with wanking...just that its more expensive

When I've been in relationships in the past I've never felt guilt about having a wank

Maybe if you see it like this it will help put things in perspective

Offline smiths

If you have no reason to then don't.

If you want to shag a variety of women then do.  That is a reason.

You are over thinking it.

Spot on. :thumbsup: And I totally disagree with avoiding all EE WGs as someone posted above, avoid BAD EE WGs and indeed WGs of all nationalities. Use UKP to locate good WGs, there are many good EE WGs about as reviews show.

Offline tdh

At the risk of getting shot down, if ur OH is willing to sleep with you and offers the full range of 'services'  why pay for what you get get free.  We will always miss even with WG. Some may be too expensive....

What may look sweet can in fact be sour!

I'll get my coat now.


ickydicky

  • Guest
At the risk of getting shot down, if ur OH is willing to sleep with you and offers the full range of 'services'  why pay for what you get get free.  We will always miss even with WG. Some may be too expensive....

What may look sweet can in fact be sour!

I'll get my coat now.

are you on the right site :(

ickydicky

  • Guest
Spot on. :thumbsup: And I totally disagree with avoiding all EE WGs as someone posted above, avoid BAD EE WGs and indeed WGs of all nationalities. Use UKP to locate good WGs, there are many good EE WGs about as reviews show.


no dont avoid all ee hoors. ive had great punts from czechs and poles. but avoid all gypos from romania.

Offline peter purves

At the risk of getting shot down, if ur OH is willing to sleep with you and offers the full range of 'services'  why pay for what you get get free.  We will always miss even with WG. Some may be too expensive....

What may look sweet can in fact be sour!

I'll get my coat now.

I see you have been shot down already...but interestingly I agree with what you say here
Banned reason: Can't / won't take advice.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline peter purves

IF you want to do it then you need to do it when all doubts have cleared - else the guilt will hit you when you are in the middle of a punt.



...or worse continuing days after ( I call it the three day effects :( ). However, who is to say it may not last longer and also affect how you view your partner.

It sounds like the OP is going to do it anyway but seeking posts to confirm that 'everything will be ok'. However, on a site like this he is not going to receive an 'objective' analysis.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2016, 04:27:43 pm by peter purves »
Banned reason: Can't / won't take advice.
Banned by: daviemac

Offline bangthedrum

I’ve been on this website lurking for a while now, reading reviews and taking the advice of many experienced UKP members on how to punt safely. However I was hoping to get some advice on something I could not see clearly answered in other forum posts (apologies if I have missed it).

The idea of seeing a WG has interested me for a few years now, and so I’ve looked into it on this site and on AW. I have everything ready from a disposable £5 PAYG phone, to alibis for being spotted in areas and a HL to tick off.

My only issue is this “feeling” I get telling me not to do it which is really off-putting. I’ve read on threads in the site that people do it because their partner doesn’t put out, they are in an unhappy relationship, they are single etc, however I do not fit into any of those “justifiable” categories.

I’m currently with a girl who is more than willing to have sex at any time, which I am attracted to. I’m happy being in the relationship, which is steady and I can see it lasting for the foreseeable future.

The thing is I’ve only ever had sex with this one girl and i'm now in my very early 30's. I get a feeling that I may have missed out on other experiences with other women and the idea of punting really begins to appeal to me because:

- I can pick and choose the women I want (many of which I would never have the guts to speak to in real life or even have a chance with)
- In theory if all goes well there are no lose ends and nobody bar WG would ever know (therefore I wouldn’t have to worry about rumours etc)
- Although physically cheating, emotionally etc I would not be (therefore it would not get messy like an affair where another person’s feelings are also involved)

My issue is that I have a feeling that I would feel some sort of massive guilt if I start to punt, which could destroy the relationship I currently have and my general mood.

Does anybody have experiences or advice they can share where they have started punting and how it affected them? Did nothing change in you/your relationship? Did it maybe make things better? Did it riddle you with guilt and ruin things?

I have gone through something similar. I am currently in a happy relationship with a very active sex life but it just so happens every now and then I fancy a massage with a HE from someone I don't know. I guess I got into this from spending time in Asia where the friends I made normally top a night off with a rub and tug before heading home.

It's a relaxing experience for me and usually it revs me up for when I see my other half. I have never gone for a full service although I toyed with the idea.

My advice would be find a parlour in your area that offers extras but go in with the intention of just getting a massage. If you are into it you will go through with it.

Offline shaunogg

Asking everyone else what they think sounds like you are trying to justify it to yourself and you are trying to defer responsibility.

Man up. Do you want to fuck a horny fit 20 year old? Do you want the choice of picking her out of the online shopping cart that is AW? Do you want the risk/reward thrill of doing it?

Make YOUR choice, man up and make the most of your choice and if there are any consequences then deal with them like a man as well.

Offline bushman

I know most want you to man-up. But I advise caution.....once you start you, might struggle to stop.
You need to remember that this game is very addictive. A fair few will say bollocks, but if you have an addictive personality, you might be up for a rough ride with future or current relationships as you will constantly trail through the online catalogue that is AW.
I have kicked my smoking habit but have given up on trying to stop punting.

Offline MrLo

Romeo Sensini
“The trick for me is telling myself that sex is just a pleasureable function (like going for a pint) and is nothing to do with love or marriage. Having said that, I am certain my wife would disagree so its worth the time and effort to be very careful about doing it.”


punther
"Punting is emotionless sex.. To me..its on par with wanking...just that its more expensive.. When I've been in relationships in the past I've never felt guilt about having a wank"

... These are the mindsets I am beginning to adopt – although as selfish as it sounds I wouldn’t want her to be doing this. I feel that if she doesn’t know and I am careful there should be nothing but my feeling to consider. If I can detach feeling from the interactions I should be fine.


peter purves
"Personally, I think it is hard not to experience guilt when in a relationship but eventually the feelings wear off and you justify to yourself your behavior"

... This thought process is what makes me think I may as well do it as I am sure that I will be able to justify it to myself as I already am beginning to now.


Rockhead
"It turned out that a one-off was all that I needed. After that, I never again had the desire to 'stray from the path'"

... Maybe this will be the case for me too – I think its the not knowing whether a one time thing all I need or not which has me curious


regular_guy
IF you want to do it then you need to do it when all doubts have cleared - else the guilt will hit you when you are in the middle of a punt.

... I totally agree – its why I asked you all for the opinions you kindly gave.To gauge the positives and negatives and others thoughts. I feel I have put enough thought and had enough advice to make a proper decision without having a doubt in my mind


tdh
"if ur OH is willing to sleep with you and offers the full range of 'services'  why pay for what you get get free... What may look sweet can in fact be sour!


... This was my only concern and fear of having regret – imagine feeling guilt for something I didn’t even like


bushman

You need to remember that this game is very addictive. A fair few will say bollocks, but if you have an addictive personality, you might be up for a rough ride with future or current relationships as you will constantly trail through the online catalogue that is AW

... Thats the thing – I had a feeling it would get addictive and I do have that type of personality. Part of the reason I have given this more thought than I normally would is because i’m putting money to the side to start a chain of experiences, in the case of me really enjoying the potential first time


Thank you for for your advice and opinions. I knew coming to this great site would give me a fair balance of perspective and knowledge I would need. I think I'm going to go ahead with it. As soon as I have a perfect excuse, time and money (being extra careful) I will give this ago. Thank you all for your help
Banned reason: Troll contributed fuck all in 3 years
Banned by: Ali Katt

ickydicky

  • Guest
if you have a hard on you need a punt. if you dont have a hard on then if you think about your last punt you will have a hard on and need another punt. :drinks:

E.L. Wisty

  • Guest
I started punting out of boredom. It gave me something that was purposeful to do for the day. The only time I would feel any sort of guilt is when I have had a bad punt. However even that hasn't put me off punting.

Offline Happylad

I think I must be the exception that proves the rule.  I was very happily married, and enjoyed a very good sex life with my wife, for just over 50 years.  Never, during my marriage, did I consider having sex outside my marriage nor did I ever want to.

Since my wife died I have had, and am still having, an excellent sex life with wgs. though I regret to say that my pensions do not allow for the frequency that marriage provided.

But if you should ask whether I ever regret not have enjoyed an occasional punt while I was still married I would very definitely have to say "NO"; I have had (and am still having) the best of both worlds, or putting it another way, instead of eating my cake and still having it, I have eaten every last crumb of one delightful cake, and am now happily consuming another equally (although differently) delightful one.

Offline Malvolio

OP - only you can decide whether this is worth doing.  It sounds like you're going for it - make sure you read the "New to Punting" section of the Wiki and cover your tracks thoroughly.

Offline Nagilum

Only you can answer that question OP

However, know this - once you start it will not stop. Sure you will feel guilt, but the addiction to punting will always make you do it again.

I was exactly like you. Married for years, in my 30s and committed to be woman, however we divorced. During the marriage I lurked on here too and thought about it. But like you guilt prevented me.


Offline MrLo

This site is unbelievable, a member on here privately messaged me and helped me confirm my thoughts

I've decided I'm going to go ahead with it. I feel a little selfish in the way I'd hate it if my wife had sex with another man but I feel I'll do a good enough job in keeping in from anybody that no feelings will be hurt and it will only be the guilt I feel that I'll have to deal with which I feel I can compartmentalise

I'm waiting to have a little extra spare cash and the perfect time where I will have enough time away from the wife to have my first WG experience

There are so many unbelievably stunning WGs available with good UKP reviews - I feel spoilt for choice

Thank you everybody for your help
Banned reason: Troll contributed fuck all in 3 years
Banned by: Ali Katt

Bonnevile

  • Guest
Mr Lo. There is no right or wrong answer. I married my first GF and for many years it chewed me up inside that I had only ever been with one woman. I got cheated on by her 22 years ago and have been single since. I have had several long term relationships where the sex was top notch. I am happy within myself and choose now to be single, as I do not want the restrictions and baggage that goes with some middle aged women, i.e. fading looks, teenage children and elderly parents etc.

Life is like a train journey, people get in and get out of your carriage along the way, its about YOUR journey.  Die without regret.

Be clear in your own mind, because once you cross that line there is no going back. Seeing a WG will be always be option for you.
It can be a phenomenal experience and IT WILL change your outlook whether you like it or not.
I realise that this is not going to help - But I have never strayed when in a relation ship.
Good luck and do your homework, whoever you choose treat them well and they will reciprocate.


Offline JamesKW

Something you may wish to consider is that if you are in a relationship where you are regularly getting sex (something I am not) you may think about transmitting SDIs to the other half.Even if the possibilities of this happening are very small,you will always be thinking to yourself will I pass something on(I say this as when I get it with OH it is bareback).You need at least a two week gap before any symptoms show up,so if you are getting regular sex from the OH this will require many visits to GUM.
Also if you were to have children they will have to go without to meet your habit as using WGs can be quite costly,can become an addiction.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2016, 03:57:06 pm by JamesKW »

Offline Cum_again

You should use it as an opportunity to try something you wouldn't normally get with girlfriend sex.

Try rimming or maybe anal to expand your horizons...

Online kefcseries

Try rimming or maybe anal to expand your horizons...



Giving or receiving? :lol:

Some of my horizons shall remain unexpanded

Goop82

  • Guest
Thanks for starting this thread. 
I am new to all this but not taking years about it like you are but experiencing all the same feelings.

In a way I want to tell all but I knows people wont understand and will judge. I signed up to this site a few days ago and walked into my first massage parlour yesterday. I just went for it!

I walked back out again without punting though because it was a shit hole. Arabesque Bury. Are they all this bad?

Anyway. I was nervous still when I came out and I phoned the Mrs. She said I sounded stressed. Lol. So I thought I betrer learn to keep a lid on it a bit better in future.

As I said nothing ended up happening but even if it had I don't know if I would feel massively guilty... unless she found out.  I thought I would be racked with guilt for having even driven to the place but I have somehow detatched myself from it.

Im a normal guy. Early thirties. Good looking. I get attention and offers in normal life but having an affair would make me feel guilty and it would be too complicated. All I want is more varieties of sex and I think you get to a stage in life where you tell yourself that actually that is an ok thing to want!


Offline Cum_again



Giving or receiving? :lol:

Some of my horizons shall remain unexpanded
Well I meant receiving of course!

But if you're going to punt you may as well try what's on offer that you wouldn't normally do.

If it's done right, having something slipped up your bum can be fucking amazing.

Bethh

  • Guest
As crappy as the saying is, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!

Shag who you want, try new things and live your life. A marriage isn't an end to adventure, it's a declaration of your love for someone. You only get one shot at life so take it and try the things that have played on your mind, such as punting.