Ok, so, kind of gave up punting without trying to make a big deal about it. but this week gave it to temptation.
I had my reservations about this one, as there is a negative on here for bradford, so i did consider that too when making my decisions.
I'm only really posting this to share my experience and possible make people laugh, there is probably little or no value in it other than comical.
so I had a window of opportunity come up, gave her a bell, shes really cheerful on the phone and texts the address, arranged a meet for an hours time. I finish what I was doing a little earlier but i head down there anyway, send her a text to say I'm there and don't mind waiting, she texts back pretty much straight the way with the flat number.
Just to clarify this isn't a very nice place, in a very nice tower block on a very nice street. Doesn't bother me too much during the day, but its shit.
In my head. I think to myself, If shes unhygienic, I'll walk. if shes remotely like the pictures, at worst Ill stay and play with some boobs and wank myself off worst case scenario. I was not prepared for what happened.
so i walk in, and she opens the door and is happy and polite, I walk into the room, and she asks me to leave and wash my hands... now i must point out, my hands were perfectly clean, but i go to a grotty bathroom was my hands and reluctantly dry them on a shoddy looking towel. I walk back into the room, and she asks me for the money. I was going to go for a half hour, but i left a twenty in my pocket and asked her for 15 minutes.
I just had a weird feeling, she wasn't rude at all, but it was just weird. so she asks me to undress, and specifically hang me clothes on a floor lamp, I said i dont mind putting them on the side of the bed in a neat pile, to which she is then adamant that I undress and hang my clothes on this floorlamp. So i just ignored her, took them off, and put them on the side of the bed neatly, i then lied down bollock naked. she, in a massive huff, walks across each item of clothing one at a time and hangs it on this shitty lamp. So im thinking this is going to be interesting.
She gives a bit of very rough hand action and puts on a condom, she sucks me twice, and im thinking this is a nice, and she then stops and asks me to have sex with her. I said I dont want sex, I just want oral.
She then completely changes her oral technique to just having her mouth about an inch away from my knob and jerking it like shes trying to prise out a screw with her bare hands,
this is where it turned weird. she then stops and says, if i just want oral for the 15 minutes then i owe her another tenner, I said why? she said its an extra, I said carry on and we'll see, bare in mind shes barely put my knob in her mouth at all at this point. she then fumbles for a minute and asks me to get up and give her another tenner.
So here i am, Do i agree to effectively raping myself and having sex with her, or do i pay her a ten for literally no reason.
so i out of sheer annoyance. I tell her, bend over, im going to fuck you because you don't even deserve the money you've had off me so far and i'm not walking.
so shes bent over, I'm not hard enough to even get in her, but im having a little go, she then starts getting louder and louder about how shes going to cum and i should come and this is amazing, now obviously this was fake, So i started doing the same, but we then got into a weird fake orgasm battle in which each of us became compelled to get louder than the other to the point where I'm shouting put on elton john on your phone, I'm lady Camilla and i want to fuck you Charles to my favourite song, literally as loud as i possibly can. its worth noting our genitals are completely detached from each other and shes just bent over whilst i'm shouting this shit. I then tell her to be like miley cyrus and twerk for me, against the wall whilst I wank into the condom, to be fair, I think she was so freaked out by my pisstaking she actually tried. she looked like a bear having an asthma attack, but it was funny. I kept saying stupid things to waste her time as much as possible. i then came, cleaned up and put my clothes on.
as i was putting my clothes on, she got straight on the phone, and said, the muslims have finishes praying and ive had 7 missed calls. and she then started to ring each person back whilst i was still there getting dressed. She asked me to wash my hands again (what the fuck?!) and then i go back, shes still on the phone, at this point i'm thinking shes behaving really rudely, i'm not a great guest sure, but shes a twat of a host. So i loudly say, I must go, my boyfriend is going to be furious I've just fucked a girl again, this left her gob smacked, I think shes from a place where gays aren't really tolerated.
I then left. as i walked out, i saw the next mug going in.
she isn't like the pictures, her tits are lovely, she doesn't allow kissing or anywhere less than arms length unless you pay extra of course, shes a lot older than stated probably about 40 odd plus, her face and hair don't make up for anything either (to be polite). her stomach is covered in stretch marks and her pussy doesn't seem to have sides. she doesn't allow kissing or OWO unless of course you pay extra. Her feet are so crusty it almost made me gag. she isnt rude at all, but she does think everyone is a mug and she doesn't get sarcasm in the slightest.