External Link/Members OnlyTOFTT, and what a TOFTT:
Hidden Image/Members OnlyIn other words: avoid. This girl shouldn't do this job, and she will actively ruin your day, making you feel more miserable than when you get in.
She was a B&S for
External Link/Members Only, that I suspect being of a girl that doesn't exist. Had I checked UKP before booking I would have known that
this girl is part of a serial B&S gang and I wouldn't have booked. I should have realised that the B&S was very likely given the masking on the fake girl's pictures, but I was in a rush, I booked from the street, etc.
It's weird that they do this, because the real girl is actually pretty hot (although admittedly the other girl is hotter) and I doubt she has problems attracting naive customers like me. She is Brazilian (not Colombian), short as I like it, she has really beautiful facial features as clearly seen in her profile (the real one), with elegant traits, sweet eyes, great mouth (8.5) and a honestly great natural body, with mid-size natural boobs and a great ass (8).
Unfortunately, she provides shit service. This girl hates her job, is bored or actively annoyed beyond repair, and I suspect she loathes men (or at least her customers). Not a smile, not a word that wasn't strictly related to the business at hand, not a single attempt to make me feel welcome, let alone trying to establish a connection of any form. She is the kind of escort that delivers imperceptible pecks instead of kisses (which is the first thing that makes the whole experience feel like a joke), seems to constantly invent new reasons to be annoyed by something the punter does (e.g. licking pussy in too low a position - NO - licking or kissing her breasts - NO - caressing parts of the body - better not - touching hair - NO - etc.), goes through the motions and acts perfunctorily throughout. I originally booked 45 minutes without OWO for 140 (I didn't have enough cash on me, missing 20 out of the additional 30 required) but when I realised that this was surely bound to be a car crash I proposed to turn the punt into a 30 minutes one with OWO. She said "I don't do OWO today" and she started the classic bullshit manoeuvre of indicating something on her mouth as if to say "I HAVE HERPES", which to be honest would be an issue regardless of OWO.
After a bit of uninspiring pussy eating where she didn't react much and seemed annoyed at me caressing her breasts, she put a condom on me and started sucking: OW is generally a meaningless experience, and when paired with a lifeless attitude by the girl it becomes actively annoying. I got her to lay down in missionary and tried to penetrate her, but the whole thing by now was making me so miserable that I had gone massively limp even though in the past 3-4 months I've been hypersexual and have had indestructible boners with at least 10 different escorts over two countries. I was tempted to leave immediately but I was sure that the tart would have rejoiced at stealing my money, so I remained.
I pulled out and she started wanking me without a condom, while I dreamed of better experiences: this made me go 75% hard, and it became possible to get inside, which also increased my vigour a little. I must say that I still managed to come, which was not a given at the beginning: luckily I stopped masturbating as a new year's resolution and my sexual enjoyment is skyrocketing even in these bad situations (at the cost of massive spikes of anxiety, for now...).
She had offered a massage at the beginning of the punt (one of the clearest signs that the punt will be shit), and I had rejected it, but just to make sure I wouldn't leave too early (I was probably 15, max 20 minutes into the booking by now) I asked for one now (there was no way I wanted to try a second round in that atmosphere). Obviously the massage was shit, but at least I relaxed a little while lying on the bed. Life is hard at times.
Overall:
face: 8.5
body: 8
location: 8.5 (nice apartment in the Farringdon area, good level of discretion, etc.)
attitude: 2
performance: 4.5
value for money: 4 (for me, this is one to avoid at all costs. If you are still curious I would suggest to cut your losses and try to go for a 15 minutes P&D)
