External Link/Members Onlyit takes quite something for me to give a negative review so this is a neutral but..............read into that what you will.
The ad says mobile full body massage. £90 per hour so i had some hopes
The lady arrived. African, beautiful and bountifully built in all dimensions. Her glasses just framed her face beautifully.
so, to the massage.
it started off well enough. I didnt cover myself to make it clear i wasnt going to be modest. the massage was reasonable enough but the first sign of it going wrong was when she strategically avoided the glutes. for a full body massage to miss the biggest muscle in the body rather takes away from the description
when she asked me to turn over i did so, again leaving myself uncovered and obviously showing signs that however mediocre the massage was, the sight of her was enough to wake the dead.
The massage continued in the same vague fashion. As massages go if it had been £40 i wouldnt be complaining but that £90 price tag was beginning to grate on me
we got to the final ten minutes and she asked that question we all want to hear. "is there anywhere you would like me to concentrate on?"
I thought great, this is it we're here. i pointed at the bit she had continuously missed and said "maybe here?"
She looked at me flatly and said one word. "no"
ok then, i just lay back and let her finish thinking to myself i seriously doubt if this beautiful young woman will get much repeat business from the men of this world.
I paid her, showed her out and we politely said goodbye. i watched her walk to her car as that ass swayed in the breeze thinking to myself thats a case of taking one for the team
there it is then. Onward and upward
