External Link/Members OnlyGood evening saints & sinners evening mass is now is session.
Price: £150 for 30 mins (Now at a reduced rate of £130)
When: End of November last year
Location: Modern fancy apartments not far from Chinatown opposite a pub.
Looks: New pictures have been added to show a more realistic depiction but prior to this it was only the heavily made up pictures that gave the illusion that this whore was something to write home about.
Comms: Texted to ask if she could go for a specific look only to be told she'd done her makeup for the day already (meaning she doesn't shower between pints)
The meet: Should have avoided after that initial text about the looks and makeup being done for the day but the little man was in the driving seat so it was 4th gear to shit creak.
Location and stuff was given fine arrived and it's opposite a pub that's ram packed doesn't bother me but i can imagine for others it could be an issue.
Text to say i was outside and kept waiting for about 10-15 minutes again should have walked but now the little man had the help of a bluey so no chance talking that prick down at this stage so like a good little twat off i fucked back to the car to wait my turn.
Eventually some guy comes walking out the building with a smug look on his face (the kind you get when you've just dumped a load of your finest reserve into some goblins belly and now it's time for the footy)
Suddenly as expected i got the text to come on up so back out of the car i fucked as it was now time for sloppy seconds.
The doors to get in are clear glass so you can see into the lobby and as i approached i noticed two guys on their phones literally hanging by the door and as i approached one of them let me in before smiling and saying good luck. (Obviously the welcoming party)
Pimps/Security out of the way i finally make my way up and reach the door and for the first time ever there was no hiding behind the door trick (although this time i wished there was)
Standing there in all her glory looking like Ursula from the little mermaid.
Absolutely nothing like the pictures which if you look on her gallery you will see the new pictures represent what i actually got baited in with.
I kind of froze as i knew i wasn't going to walk but still that tiny bit of me inside died when i realised that instead of this exotic looking goddess she just looked like your everyday trollop you'd find sucking off cab drivers for a free ride and doing coke off a bouncers cock at the afters.
Personality wise she was welcoming and turned out she was Scouse which I'd always wanted to fuck a Scouse bitch so that alone made up for everything else that went wrong (or so i thought)
Lead into the bedroom and it looked like pearl fucking harbour.... This is one trashy bitch
Hair straighteners and clothes scattered all over the floor and bed empty plates and cutlery everywhere and the room just hummed of sweaty cunt.
It was like walking into any teenage slob girls bedroom just an absolute mess how on earth could this rancid whore think that's acceptable?
Admittedly it turned me on a little the thought of this lazy dirty slut about to recite 10 hail Mary's with my cock jammed in her slutty gob.
I asked for a shower and was shown the bathroom which made the bedroom look like the Sistine chapel.
Again dirty clothes & other products scattered about the place and makeup left all in the sink then to top it off the last punters used Johnny was stuck to the inside of the toilet which forced a little chuckle out of me as i couldn't help but laugh hysterically at the situation I'd gotten myself into and now money had already changed hands so the only escape was to fuck my way out
I tried to flush the johnny by pissing on it but that didn't work it was fully attached to the inside of that toilet so maybe 2-3 punters before? I shudder to think
The best part about this is that it all came down to a coin toss i was undecided between this slut and another sp who i eventually saw a month later (review incoming)
So fate had chosen and this was decided, I took one last look at myself in the mirror as a sort of pep talk and off i went into the gates of oblivion.
The girl herself in all honesty is not unattractive at all if anything she's actually massively attractive her body is one of the best I've ever saw it's just she's one of these young bimbo's that can't do their own makeup which should come as no surprise considering she can't even make a fucking bed or flush a loo.
Go in for a kiss she turns her cheek so that's some bullshit already considering she has dfk on her likes.
She says usually men just put me in doggy and assumed the position.
Fuck off you mangey skank i at least want that blowjob.
I sit on the end of the bed while she gave me a "oh if i must" blowjob.
Again this is where i noticed how beautiful she actually is she's got really bright blue eyes that could pierce through a mountain glade and big juicy lips that would have been nice to have had a taste of (probably just tasted like the last guys cock, wonder how the footys going for him eh?)
Blowjob itself was just as shit as everything else about this punt lazy and toothy as fuck it's almost as if she was mining my cock hoping to find a gram inside my japs eye sadly she was left disappointed.
We both got bored of this and thought it's best to move on to which she again assumed the doggy position which any other Sunday would have been good enough for this goose but after the shit you've put me through you're gonna have to look me in the eye.
So missionary it was and damn she looked good those thick thighs thirsting to wrap themselves around my neck.
On with the Mac and in the little man dove and dove he absolutely fucking did because this was a fucking void.
It was like dangling your cock in a jug of water there was absolutely nothing touching the sides and as I'm thrusting I'm getting sucked further and further into nothingness it's like a train tunnel with nothing but darkness on the other side the whole time I've kept perfect eye contact with the bitch as i want her to know it's gonna take more than a saggy pussy to extinguish this fire.
Legs now lifted up into their rightful place on my shoulders i started to feel the tiniest bit of friction as i maintained perfect eye contact and to be fair to the sket so did she.
I began to pound more ferociously as best as i could but it was like having sex with a carton of custard I came very close to cuming looking into those eyes and I'll admit i did get lost in them just as easily as my little man got lost in the void.
Eventually i knew there just wasn't enough friction even the most endowed would have had a hard time feeling something from this loose end.
Bucket list ticked I'd now fucked the Bermuda triangle and i was wanking myself off onto her tits i gave a little thought to all those poor souls that were lost and didn't manage to climb back out.
Eventually i unleashed and the cheeky bitch turned her face away (even tho cim&facials are listed) and demanded i pass her the wipes because the lazy bitch couldn't even be arsed to fetch the wet wipes to clean her own fucking tits
As i lay on the bed catching my breath the odd little skank kept waffling shit but at this point i wasn't the slightest bit interested in any of this mad cows ramblings so i made my excuses and off i fucked to which the cheeky slag asked if I'd see her again......
Answer is i probably would....
Who am i shitting i absolutely would
All in all shit lazy service, dirty lazy bitch, gorgeous eyes, thighs to die for, girl herself smelt clean no sweat smell or anything but didn't really go near it to risk finding out.
Tours with another girl as i heard her talking to her while i was in the shower and I've saw reviews which doesn't flatter her friend in any glory.
But that won't stop me from texting the friend next time she's in Brum and I've got the horn.
With all my reviews good or bad it's a case of I'd still go back regardless but for those of you that have a morsel of self respect you might wish to proceed with caution.
