Link:
External Link/Members OnlyTime spent: 1 very long hour
Money Wasted: £300 (£50 extra for Nuru - never received)
Detailed Review:
As far as high cost total waste of money massages go - this is right there at the top.
I used to be fairly regular at Karma - and they were one of the more reliable ones - if not the cheapest.
However, for last few years - no one except Carmen caught my fancy - however she has never been available at the times or days that work for me.
Finally, wanting to scratch the good B2B/Nuru itch - went along with Clara who was recommended by lady on the other side of text message.
I agreed to pay extra for Nuru (£50) as it is supposedly a speciality of Clara.
Was greeted warmly, but what followed of massage was just hands massage, very few cc swipes, very few body slides provided (actually negligible) and whatever that cheap oil was - definitely not Nuru and it had such a strong smell that all I could think of was how the fuck would I get rid of it! Shower was never going to be enough.... As Clara was massaging with that cheap stuff, I was wondering if I should slop beer or something stronger on myself after getting out of her apartment.
Anyway, she proceeded to waste time with Hot Stone massage - and it was honestly wtf? I do not want it, dont need it and I paid for Nuru. If I want Hot Stones massage - I will pay for it rather than Nuru (and actually go to legit provider).
Though by that time, I was so disillusioned that I thought - let her do what she wants. I am not going to get Nuru or B2B anyway - at least get this over with and blow the load in end.
Turned over - initially she did not let me touch at her (she had made clear at the beginning, no touching private areas) - but then took my hands and placed on her breasts and let me fondle them lightly for few brief moments couple of times. But it was clear from her demeanour that it is allowed only when she places the hands there and for as long as she does not remove them.
Anyways, it was nearing end time, so she started handjob, one I blew my load - she went to shower herself. When she was back - I got up to try to wash away the cheap oil - wasnt much successful. I must have made entire tube carriage wonder what the hell I have put on.
Once I got out of tube, rather than walk or take bus home - I decided to take longer route and jog instead to build sweat and changed clothes as soon as I reached home. Luckily my and Mrs Tex have separate laundry baskets! For better measure, put my clothes for into machine immediately after dinner too...
Would I visit her again? Fuck no.
