Im looking to have an affair.

[pbrown355]

I think you are starting from the wrong place and with the wrong question.
You want advice on finding an upgrade. Finding someone as a trial run is disrespectful to the "replacement" and your wife. If you are done (reads like you are) you should check out. This would mean if you start a relationship it'll be possible to view it as having possibilities of continuing. As an affair all I can see is potential drama and a fake situation.
Reading the thread you don't seem to want this advice because it wasn't the question as asked. It strikes me though that since so many people have said similar things it may be worth your while listening.
Also although she doesn't need me defending her, your response to Miss Wolf unnecessary and unfortunately fitted with your overall disrespect of others.

[webpunter]

It sounds to me that you are in a similar situation to myself.  I started punting due to the lack of sex in my marriage.  I realised that I was getting the sex I was missing, but I was needing more.  I have had a regular sugar baby for a couple of years.  Which is the same as an affair, although I am under no illusion that she would want me full time. There are many men on here who are happy with their marriage and punt to get the only thing they are missing.  If you are missing or looking for more than sex, then I would say that it is time to move on.  This is the camp I am in and plan to move on as soon as I can.  It seems to me that you are wanting to hedge your bets and test drive a few options before you decide.  I would say, if you start a relationship as an affair, it is not a true relationship and my not survive the transition and the divorce.  I would suggest that you make your mind up as to weather you want to stay or move on.  I know that it is scary to make the decision to go it alone.

That's the way to do it, not much 
In the middle ground, no illusions being the key criteria

An affair withstanding transition / divorce is low
Once its out in the open the excitement of it being secret evaporates, the urgent shag becomes more hum drum
Affairs rarely last > 6-12 months as highlighted by @DH
Combine these & the chances of a +ve outcome even lower

The OP mentioning that not going out [well to pubs] + combined with his approach on here & asking where to start doesn't bode well
As for working in a male environment IMO is looking for excuses
Porking the payroll very very rarely ends well & can lead to work problems when the excitement / affair fizzles out
And the next thing can be a formal complaint to HR, especially in today's world
If the guy is in a position of seniority he can be right up a certain creek without ...

[Doc Holliday]

I guess I want to test the water or maybe more so test myself. Like I said in my OP I have a decent relationship and I never thought I would be having this discussion but a few months ago I met a Thai working girl who mesmerised me to the point I thought if the circumstances had been right I would have ended my current relationship for it but it became clear this girl was very much a gold digger.

The experience shocked me a bit because I never would have thought I would ever leave my current partner but the excitement in so many different ways both physically and emotionally grabbed me. That was the wrong girl but Im now wondering how my life would be if she had of been genuine, she was 15yrs younger, had the outlook of a woman 15yrs younger than me and made me feel young again.

That's an interesting addition to the story. In your opening post I had assumed that you had been referring to a civilian encounter with someone younger. If this 'Damascus' moment is in relation to an SP it moves the goalposts into EAS territory.

How did she mesmerise you? What was the nature of the relationship that was the trigger to potentially turn your life upside down? An affair will by its nature bring its own baggage.

EDIT This is the link to one of the threads mentioned and was added to just a week ago https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=284539.0

[fredhiggins]

OP, maybe try Fabs?

[RedKettle]

Make your mind up.
You wanted constructive advice.
You got some.
The gender and occupation of the purveyor of said advice should be immaterial.
For what it's worth I agree with said advice.
If you wanted to restrict the advice to easy options you should have said in the original post. 

Fuck me I completely agree with you.  This is becoming a very worrying habit.   

[Thephoenix]

Fuck me I completely agree with you.  This is becoming a very worrying habit.   

Same for me.
I've even taken him off ignore.
Maybe he's a nice boy after all, and just misunderstood.

[RedKettle]

Same for me.
I've even taken him off ignore.
Maybe he's a nice boy after all, and just misunderstood.

I have him on ignore still but click on his non political posts, which are like they are written by a completely different person.

[webpunter]

Same for me.
I've even taken him off ignore.
Maybe he's a nice boy after all, and just misunderstood.

Its worrying there's me thinking the same as you & RK
Taking off ignore, lets not get carried away

[scutty brown]

Same for me.
I've even taken him off ignore.
Maybe he's a nice boy after all, and just misunderstood.

It's part of his deep-cover for his penetration role with the KGB
Create a "nice" legend for himself so people will like and trust him. But at heart he's still a commie. 

[pbrown355]

We at the KGB are not having him.

[mills_and_bhuna]

It's part of his deep-cover for his penetration role with the KGB
Create a "nice" legend for himself so people will like and trust him. But at heart he's still a commie. 

I would reply but politics are for the thread created for that purpose

[alabama1]

Why would I want to tell her that I punt, what positives would come from that for either of us?

According to your previous statement, you do..'..I punt without ever having to tell lies or make excuses to my partner '

[Ali Katt]

Im mid 50s, been with my partner over 20yrs and Ive been punting now for about 8yrs. Im a regular punter, anywhere from 3-8 times a month.

Initially punting was all I needed, the physical release and the idea of shagging some pretty younger girls worked well but as the years go by its becoming less and less effective, Im finding myself wanting something more. I also think during these last 8yrs Ive detached further from my partner although I still do love her dearly but more as a sister, we havent had any sexual relations for years and years due to her losing all interest after a hysterectomy. There is zero intimacy in our relationship and I fear it has taken its toll.

Anyway a few months ago a younger girl showed some interest in me and to my surprise I found myself seriously considering the idea of maybe leaving my partner and starting again with someone else, just not with her though as I knew she was a gold digger. I fully understand how huge a move this would be and the pain it would cause to myself and my partner so its not something I would do lightly and I might not do it at all unless the right girl comes along. I also expect this could be a mid life crisis although I reckon Ive had a couple of these already and usually a new motorbike or sports car has sufficed.

Anyway, I dont want to leave my partner and start again as a single man because Im really not sure its what I want so selfishly Im considering trying to find someone new on an affair basis to begin with and only making the move if Im fully sure down the line. I know this is a selfish as fuck attitude but Im too old to play this the risky way. We have no children and I have lots of spare time and we dont live in each others pockets so I do think I could maintain two relationships for a while.

Im surprising myself with all of these thoughts as Ive never cheated before, Ive always played with a straight bat but Ive seen mates do stuff like this and end up happy so here I am.

Other than meeting escorts or massage girls I dont come into contact with females much, my work is 100% male orientated and Im not a pub goer so finding a potential new person to have an affair with seems really difficult.

If Im going to do this I dont want to bring into my life a whole load of hassle so I would be looking for someone with no children and also she would have to be an upgrade in terms of younger, fresher, good looking etc.

Where the fuck do I start?

I think there's two questions: what would you want to achieve what you aren't already getting? Punting sounds like it is filling the sex bit, so is it intimacy? The other question is let's say there's no way of your wife not knowing, would you be prepared to lose her?

What I would do is have a break from punting and take your wife out. With no goal of sex, just to  build up things like intimate contact like holding hands and rekindle the friendship side. With relationships people drift because they forget what was attractive in the first place.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

That ought be the next achivment of medicine to make a pill for women to rekindle their sex drives!..

As to the OP however you have been given some good advice here, think of women as human beings not commodites.

If its as bad as you say then divorce the wife live alone for a while, then see where you want to go.

Most all decent women wouldnt want the shack up with a married man, except random gold prospectors! But you know that ..

[Trumpet]

I’ve had 3 affairs, of which I’m not proud.
My wife lost interest in sex and intimacy in her late 30s and I got bored of being rejected.
I’m my experience, they are more trouble than they are worth, one of you will invariably develop more feelings than then other.
It’s why I ended up punting, it doesn’t give me all I need but it’s enough
I even tried Fab for a while, but the lady I met wanted more despite knowing my situation

I love my wife and she’s a wonderful person, but if she has no interest in my needs, I don’t feel guilty taking things into my own hands.
I’m very jealous of those couples in their 50s, 60s and beyond who still have active sex lives.

Someone once described men as like “monkeys in a tree”,  won’t let go of the branch until they are holding the next one.

TL;DR is more grief than it’s worth, if you’re that unhappy man up and leave her

[webpunter]

I’ve had 3 affairs, of which I’m not proud.
My wife lost interest in sex and intimacy in her late 30s and I got bored of being rejected.
I’m my experience, they are more trouble than they are worth, one of you will invariably develop more feelings than then other.
It’s why I ended up punting, it doesn’t give me all I need but it’s enough
I even tried Fab for a while, but the lady I met wanted more despite knowing my situation

I love my wife and she’s a wonderful person, but if she has no interest in my needs, I don’t feel guilty taking things into my own hands.
I’m very jealous of those couples in their 50s, 60s and beyond who still have active sex lives.

Someone once described men as like “monkeys in a tree”,  won’t let go of the branch until they are holding the next one.

TL;DR is more grief than it’s worth, if you’re that unhappy man up and leave her

You've got the t-shirt & wise words
One person developing more feelings for sure

A long time being unhappy is destructive
Its not good for people's health if nothing else
I've seen blokes seem to wither away, especially when you don't see them for a while it becomes noticeable

As for monkeys & trees you have got Mars & Venus the wrong way round