Greetings fellow punters!
Just returned from a few weeks in sunny Tenerife and thought I'd report back on some of my experiences with the various massage shops in the area.
Katie - Addiction Massage (Actually now appears to work from Diva Massage)External Link/Members OnlyA quick google showed up Katie and her website, google is full of 5* reviews and after a quick chat on WhatsApp I booked in for €100 all in for a 30 minute 'Addiction Massage'. However I was surprised to find that the premises I was directed to was labelled as 'Diva Massage', located just off the big roundabout and with a far from subtle half billboard sized advert for Body to Body and Tantic massage right above the entrance. A word of warning if you are looking for somewhere discreet, the premises is located next to three other massage places, a strip club and is in view of a hundred or so balconies for the posh hotel literally accross the street!
After heading upstairs and inside I 'checked in' with the receptionist and was shown through to Katie's room. Katie lived up to the photos online and more, I'd say early 30s mediterranean descent with a stunning body and some interesting tattoos if that's your thing. She was topless from the off but kept her shorts on throughout. I expect she has some professional training as she had one of the best massage techniques I have ever experienced with lots of RUs from the begging. After about 10 minutes she asked me to turn over and then largely abandoned the rest of the body massage focussing purely on the old meat and two veg, great technique with lots of edging she managed to keep me on the brink for ages before finally I could resist no longer. Afterwards a quick clean up with some wipes and I was offered a shower in the en-suite but declined as my hotel was not far. Would definitely reccomend checking out if you are in the area and dont mind the lack of privacy at the entrance. One thing to note is that the girls here seem to charge 50%+ more if you visit during the night vs the day.
Mint - Aranya Thai massageExternal Link/Members OnlyLocated down some stairs in a mini shopping arcade on one of the side roads off the main high street this place had a much lower risk of someone seeing you coming or going. I paid €35 at the front desk for a 30 minute back massage and directed to a room and left to undress. After a few moments a fairly cute young girl came in, wearing a full masseuse's uniform and upon noting I was totally starkers began to complain and pulled out a disposable pair for me to put on, I delcined and slipped my own back on and she procceded with a pretty decent massage including some back walking, using her heel to really work some of the more stubbon knots in my upper back. As we neared the end of the 30 minutes I enquired if there were any extras available however as expected due to the earlier no nudity policy she responded with a curt no and left the room leaving me to get dressed. A decent massage but I don't think anything more is on offer, also the older lady on reception gave me a dirty look as I left so not sure I would be welcome back again
Joy - China Relax MassageExternal Link/Members OnlyI believe there may be a chain of these on the island as I saw 3/4 of these shops all with the same storefront and advertising dotted around within a few miles of my hotel. For reference the one I visited was at the top of a quite run down shopping mall with outdoor escalators that lead from the beach to high street level. The mama - san was sat at a plastic table outside the shop, almost always on a video call to someone else nattering away in Mandarin when I walked by. Paid €30 for 30 minutes and was lead to a room in the back and told to undress, there were no towels to cover yourself with so I just stripped and hopped up onto the table. After a few minutes a fairly plain looking chinese woman, probably late 30s early 40s came in and proceeded with a really half assed massage attempt, literally little more than just rubbing a little oil into my back for 10 minutes or so before she reached between my legs and asked if I wanted any extras while gently stroking me. A little ashamed to admit that I caved to her ingenious sales technique and quickly negotiated a further €30 for a clothed HE. What followed was a very dissapointing rushed experience during which the masseuse looked thoroughly dis-interested. After I popped she handed me some fairly rough and cheap tissues to clean myself up with and promptly left the room again. Definitely would not reccomend a visit.
