External Link/Members OnlyI went to the Bi Fun Club several times at the big sex party house in Sutton but stopped going because in the end it was mostly middle-aged to elderly men in towels glumly wandering around like undead souls, all waiting for one of the paid female hookers to be free.
I wrote the above in another review late last last year but today I was tempted back to the world of wandering men in towels at the same well-known orgy house because the porn star Alessa Savage was on the list of escort attractions. I find her super-sexy (look up a video called Boss's Bratty Daughter if you need an example) and I was out of the country the last time she actually did turn up in Sutton to get fucked by all-comers.
But after arriving for the 3-5pm party today, getting undressed, fastening the aforesaid towel round my waist and making a recce of the talent, I failed to spot Alessa Savage. So I asked one of the organisers and was told that she had rung up to cancel that very morning. She was by far the main attraction for me and I would not have gone otherwise. I suppose I could have checked if she was there at the door then turned on my heel and only lost a £40 deposit instead of paying the rest of £160 fee. But having gone to the trouble of getting there and making the necessary excuses I wasn't going to do that.
I stayed for 70 minutes, had blowjobs from three of the 12 escorts that I counted, had brief missionary with one them, and groped a few more while they were seeing to other guys. I would have done more but my hard-on wasn't up to it. The party ratio wasn’t too bad. I didn't try to count the men but it was maybe around three to every girl. There was also a swinger couple, maybe in their mid-sixties. The wife – blonde with a very attractive face – was playing with other guys but taking her time about it.
I played for the longest with the tall and statuesque
External Link/Members Only, who was unrecognisable to me from the event page or her website pictures thanks to wearing heavy waist-length hair braids.
The gamest girl of all was a pretty blonde with large tits who was perched on a small sofa on the landing taking on three, even four, guys at once. At one stage I stood astride her on the sofa and gave her a good face-fucking (wearing a cursed but compulsory condom). Meanwhile, one of the four or five young black guys present was hammering in and out of her pussy. From what I could see, all of those guys confirmed the cock-size stereotype. That same girl told me she's based in Nottingham and is not on Adultwork. Stupidly, I didn’t ask her name and now I can't place her from the thumbnail pictures on the event page. Actually I can match hardly any of those faces with the girls present but I’m pretty rubbish at facial recognition. However, Monica Bollocksy, who I have fucked several times at other parties and would have recognised, did not seem to be present.
I hesitated between a neutral and positive but I think that for someone with no ED problems and more patience than me it would have been a very good time. I think I had my money's worth regardless and it’s not the organisers' fault that Alessa Savage was a no-show. But – as I had previously decided – these kinds of mass events are not for me any more. My erection is too unreliable, especially with condoms for oral. I won't go to one again even if Alessa reappears on the bill. I'll probably kick myself if she then turns up, but that’s life.
By the way, she currently has an active
External Link/Members Only based in Croydon but offers only peripheral stuff like domination and hand-relief. The first line of her Q&A says:
Q. ARE YOU REGULARLY TESTED AS I AM WORRIED ABOUT STD's?A. YES!! But you won’t be fucking anyone so don’t worry.
I suppose if she can find enough mugs to pay for that kind of old rope she won’t be needing to fuck gangs of men in towels any more.
PS: I've nicked this picture of today's line-up from Anonman's review of the later event, which I hadn't seen before writing mine. I was at the top of the stairs watching when that was taken. The unnamed blonde I mention is at the very top of the group. The pink-haired girl at the front was hosting but not playing as far as I could see.Hidden Image/Members Only
