Porsha
External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyThought I'd seen a review of this one or a mention, at least, but I did a search this morning and didn't turn anything up so I thought, yeah, ok.
Saturday 21/6/14 7pm. Berkhamsted.
Positives:
Comms were good. It wasn't Porsha on the phone as I found out later, but whoever it was she spoke English well enough, sounded a bit squeaky, like Minnie Mouse but no big deal.
Arranged for 7pm with a confirm call at 6.30. Didn't like that bit, why would I need to confirm? Never had to do it with other girls and besides, I'll be in the car and I don't use my mobile when I'm driving.
Quiet, safe, easy (but charged for) parking, easy to find. 'Hide in plain sight' discreet.
No other positives that I can think of.
Negatives: I know why I'm rating it Negative, you lot can decide for yourselves.
Her profile photos are shopped, and she wasn't made-up that much but she's cute enough in a hard-faced sort of way. I imagine once her smile reaches her eyes, she can be really pretty, but it never got that far while I was there. Profile says her tits are 34C, I'm no expert but they didn't look or feel like a C cup. States her age as 25, which seemed about right.
Skinny, tight, body, maybe a bit too skinny round the arse once I was doing her doggy but not that off-putting.
Got there, into the bedroom, she's wearing a tiny lacy tie-up one-piece thing, old, faded tattoo at the base of her back that doesn't show in the photos. Shopped out or covered-up, I guess. Confirm that it's the fee on AW for the hour, '...and that includes everything on your list, yes?' 'Yes, dahlink, everythink inclooded, everythink'. Ok, let's go. Hand over the cash, she goes to stash it then she comes back and starts to help me get undressed
but loses interest after two shirt buttons
She wants to give me a massage so I say 'Ok' and all of a sudden I've got about half a bottle of baby lotion on my back. Baby Lotion, for fuck's sake. I don't want to smell like a baby being put to bed, I want to smell musk, patchouli, sandalwood, Opium perfume, something sexy.....not ferfuckssake baby lotion. She's put so much on that she gets bored (and I do) trying to rub it all into my back so she tells me to turn over and says 'I give you blowjob', then commences to open a condom with her teeth. This is where it really goes downhill.
I say, 'Wait a minute, don't you do it without?'. Pause.......'Yes dahlink, but is £20 extra'. 'What? I asked you and you said it was all included in the price', and all of a sudden she can't speak English, makes a few hand gestures and commences to give me oral with, which just doesn't work for me. This goes on for a while and she totally ignores my pissed-off face. I almost capitulate, and ask her if CIM is included in the extra £20. 'No, dahlink, is another £20'. Amazing, she can speak English, again.
I finally realise that it's not going to be a good punt, so I take an opportunity to get a handful of her pussy and try to piss her off back by sticking my fingers in, she pushes my hand away, I say sorry, and then do it again. Rinse and repeat. I think she finally cottons on that I'm pissed-off, gets pissed off back with me and my fingers, decides I'm hard enough to stay inside her and says 'I fuck you doggy now'.
I fuck her doggy. As mentioned, not much of an arse to look at, not very wet but tight enough. I consider trying to piss her off a bit more by sticking a finger in her arsehole but decide there's no mileage in it. Turn her over, into mish and she's got a really nice body to look at while you're fucking her. No problem there, legs nice and wide, didn't mind me getting deep in, and she sounds like she's enjoying it but not 'Ooo Ahh Baby' shit, just little involuntary grunts and breaths. I don't care, by now, if she's enjoying it or not, anyway. I unload, but not in her mouth
She shows me across the hall to the bathroom, I dump the condom in the bin and have a shower to get the baby lotion shit off me. I live alone, so I'm not cleaning up any 'evidence', I just want to get the smell off me. Just coming up to the half hour, I guess.
Come out and she's waiting in the hall, naked, and fair do's, she does have a cute, tight, skinny little body. Nicely shaped, firm tits, small with pointy nipples. Nice little arse, shapely legs. We go back into the bedroom, she busies about, I quickly check my watch in my shoe, yep, half an hour, just. I lay down and fuck me, if she don't dump the other half of the bottle of Johnson's on me. Two minutes of rubbing my back and she says, 'We make something else, dahlink'. What? 'We make sex again'. She wants to give me more oral-with to get me hard, but I ask her to use her hands instead. Two minutes of that and I'm not hard again so she decides she's done enough for her money, says something like 'Is not working', I agree with her and we decide to call it a wrap. She goes out for a minute, and when she comes back she's dressed before I am.
Forty minutes and I'm back in the car driving out of the car park. Would you believe it, I drive past her on her way to the supermarket to spend some of my £100, probably stocking up on Baby Lotion, and she gives me such a sweet little smile and wave. Bitch.
I can generally find a positive in all my punts, even if it's only 'Shot my load, licked a clit, and the car's still where I parked it with all four wheels, no clamps and the radio still in the dash', but not this one, I just felt ripped-off. I guess the 'positive' is that I've ticked her off my list and I don't have to wonder anymore if she's worth doing.
I don't know what to do anymore. Sticking with tried and trusted punts (by me) and not trying anyone new really, really tastes like failure, but I'm not prepared to risk another go like this one.
Topic: Unload Your Wallet In My Mouth, more like (Read 2778 times)
