Author Topic: The Joke Thread (Read 364715 times)

catweazle · « **Reply #5700 on:** May 28, 2026, 11:34:49 am »

Milk Hucknall is in trouble with the police for allegedly shagging a rabbit. A police spokesperson said:" He was holding back the ears, and singing ' bunny's too tight to mention' "

WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5701 on:** May 28, 2026, 04:15:26 pm »

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WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5702 on:** May 28, 2026, 11:43:29 pm »

It's been 1 year, 12 days, 9 hours, 42 minutes and 10 seconds since the doctor cured my OCD.

standardpostage · « **Reply #5703 on:** May 29, 2026, 06:42:11 am »

Quote from: WARSZAWA16 on May 28, 2026, 11:43:29 pm

It's been 1 year, 12 days, 9 hours, 42 minutes and 10 seconds since the doctor cured my OCD.

timsussex · « **Reply #5704 on:** May 29, 2026, 10:38:13 am »

Quote from: WARSZAWA16 on May 28, 2026, 11:43:29 pm

It's been 1 year, 12 days, 9 hours, 42 minutes and 10 seconds since the doctor cured my OCD.

no its 11 seconds
no its 12
no 13
14 ....

WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5705 on:** May 30, 2026, 07:48:01 pm »

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timsussex · « **Reply #5706 on:** May 30, 2026, 10:49:35 pm »

Last night I went out dressed as a chicken and met up with a girl who was dressed as an egg.

The life long question was answered shortly afterwards.

It was the chicken.

Davey Dykes · « **Reply #5707 on:** June 01, 2026, 12:02:39 pm »

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WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5708 on:** June 01, 2026, 02:33:35 pm »

The King's shoe makers have had their sign taken down by the police.
Apparently, 'Cobblers to the King' isn't acceptable.

WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5709 on:** June 01, 2026, 05:54:21 pm »

What's the difference between a set of bagpipes and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up bagpipes.

mr.bluesky · « **Reply #5710 on:** June 01, 2026, 09:49:43 pm »

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WASA38 · « **Reply #5711 on:** June 02, 2026, 08:35:40 am »

Quote from: mr.bluesky on June 01, 2026, 09:49:43 pm

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Am guessing you don't bother reading the Politics thread.

mr.bluesky · « **Reply #5712 on:** June 02, 2026, 08:40:20 am »

Quote from: WASA38 on June 02, 2026, 08:35:40 am

Am guessing you don't bother reading the Politics thread.

Nah, no interest to me

JontyR · « **Reply #5713 on:** June 02, 2026, 11:16:52 pm »

Quote from: WARSZAWA16 on May 28, 2026, 11:43:29 pm

It's been 1 year, 12 days, 9 hours, 42 minutes and 10 seconds since the doctor cured my OCD.

I've got CDO. It's like OCD but the letters are in the right order.

badsin · « **Reply #5714 on:** June 02, 2026, 11:49:55 pm »

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Steve2 · « **Reply #5715 on:** **Yesterday** at 04:38:25 am »

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mr.bluesky · « **Reply #5716 on:** **Yesterday** at 04:51:44 am »

Quote from: JontyR on June 02, 2026, 11:16:52 pm

I've got CDO. It's like OCD but the letters are in the right order.

I've got DCO and dyslexia

Steve2 · « **Reply #5717 on:** **Yesterday** at 04:56:14 am »

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WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5718 on:** **Yesterday** at 12:26:15 pm »

I said "no comment" all the way through my interview at the police station.
I didn't get the job.

Jonestown · « **Reply #5719 on:** **Yesterday** at 12:42:11 pm »

I’ve opened a workshop to make small statues, it’s a niche market.

timsussex · « **Reply #5720 on:** **Yesterday** at 11:58:55 pm »

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as if you were running eight miles.

Who the hell can run eight miles in 30 seconds?

mr.bluesky · « **Reply #5721 on:** **Today** at 08:29:10 am »

A young camel goes up to his father and says
" dad why do we have a hump ?"
his Dad replies " so we can store water when we make long treks cross the desert"
A few minutes later the son asks
" Dad why do we have such strange hooves ? "
His father replies "so our body weight is spread when we walk across the desert sand"
A few minutes later the son asks
" Dad why do we have such big eye lashes ? "
His Dad replies " to help keep the sand out of our eyes when we cross the desert"
A few minutes later the son asks
" Dad if we have a hump to store water, hooves to help us walk on sand and eylashes to keep the sand out of our eyes then why the fuck are we in London zoo "

WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5722 on:** **Today** at 04:26:48 pm »

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WARSZAWA16 · « **Reply #5723 on:** **Today** at 07:18:34 pm »

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Author Topic: The Joke Thread (Read 364715 times)