External Link/Members OnlyI'm not going to settle for another fat bird again. I swear that simply won't. I've had enough of it.This is a TOFTT. After my previous glowing review this one is back to the grind of standard shittiness. I arranged a booking by text for a certain time and when I got there was asked to wait for an hour.
Not having a Plan B I decided to wait this one out and spent the hour in my car on my phone looking at better options on AW.
Eventually I got the call up and went to the apartment block. As I approached the front door what looked like the previous punter was leaving the building. I met her inside the apartment. She's facially attractive between 30 and 40 years old and I saw what looked like just a slight belly underneath her garments, I nearly hesitated but after waiting an hour I handed over the money.
She stashed the $$$ and came back took off her clothes and then I discovered the illusion of her choice of lingerie which once removed revealed a fat blubber body with a soft podgy belly that's like marshmallow. Very volumous and billowy. I could have been half swallowed by it. I was picturing the stay puff man from Ghostbusters 1. Well, I thought to myself in for a penny in for £160 of my hard earned dough in exchange or more of her dough like body.
I gave it my best shot. No OWO offered, I didn't attempt RO which would probably have been a sticky hazard of the previous hapless punters dried spit and went straight to Mish. She just play there. Like a jellied amoeba. So after half heartedly pumping into the bag, I asked her to do CG. She lumbered her body upright with a sigh and straddled me like a beached whale and sat there no quite knowing what to do with some half assed jiggling. I tried pumping into her for a few minutes whilst pinned to the bed but I may as well have been a stick insect making love to pregnant sow.
We went back into Mish and I just pumped into the bag jackhammering consoling myself with her decent face. Whilst thinking to myself:
Just don't look down WAP, don't look down, shes got a nice face, keep looking at her face, keep pumping and look at her face, just cum, get your moneys worth and get out of there 
I popped into the bag, got dressed and made my way out as quick as I could.
Time paid for: £160 for an hour
Time Spent there: 30 mins
Recommended - NO unless you like a BBW
Return? NO - But would suit a man who likes a big woman for a pump and dump.
Attitude 5/10
GFE Services 4/10 - didn't refuse anything. Allowed LFK.
Physical Construction 2/10
Facial Attractiveness 7/10 - consolation prize
Professional Excellence 2/10 - made me wait an hour
Physical Intimacy level 2/10
Wet Ass Pussy grip factor 4/10
Summary: 4/10 Overall. An expensive mistake with the type of woman I could pick up for free in Newcastle Toon on a Friday night at a local pub. Somewhat Shite. Like making love to an amorphous starfish. I've had worse by far. At least she's not crazy.
Punting Theme Song:
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