Best civvy hookup experience?

[Offtoasda]

Interesting to hear about non paid sex stories from the punters here.

[The0neAnd0nly]

You first.

[Ali Katt]

A thread better suited to r/. No offence directed towards to the OP and I know it's silly season and this omicron thing has kept people indoors. Best place you've had a wank on another thread. Have I logged onto Birchplace by mistake or are people cranking one out to UKpunting?

[Offtoasda]

Sorry mod, please feel free to delete this thread

[Stevelondon]

Oh alright then, as I’ve got nowt better to do.

In my teens was at this house party. Usual thing. Parents away, the girl of the house thought it a good idea to invite a few mates round.
So I’m 16 or thereabouts and I’m getting it on with this girl in glasses who used to be in the same class as me at school. Never took much notice of her before but she had changed considerably since leaving school. Or could that just have been me and the three vodka shots I’d just had.
Anyways.
I’m leading her up to one of the bedrooms and got as far as the upstairs hall. When my mate comes out of the bathroom and starts yelling for everyone to,
“Come and have a look at this”

Proudly wanting everyone to see the biggest wrap around turd in the toilet bowl.

Jeez, of all the things to be proud of.

But this girl I had lustful feelings for wanted to see. Then she turned green and threw up over the offending article.
Thus hiding it from view.
Much to my mates disgust as it meant he couldn’t show off his handiwork……. Or words to that affect.

But a bummer on my expectations too.

Sigh………. Ahh this happy days of youth.

(It was so long ago. I know for a fact several of those in attendance are now no longer with us)

[Watts.E.Dunn]

Well Twice in the past when i managed to pull a dame there wasnt a spare room that wasnt already full of bonking couples!

Full of bonking couples you may ask?, yes in two doulble beds both sides of the bed were occupied!!!

As well as bathrooms!

[LLPunting]

Getting to rut with my avatar girl.

[fisherofsouls]

I have a recent one 

Had a bit of business at Metro Bank a few weeks ago, served by quite a nice-looking Asian girl, can't have been more than 25.  As usual everything took ages, so we were chatting about holiday destinations, eventually everything was done, I thanked her and went on my way.

Last week, had to go in about something else.  Went to the counter, they called a member of staff over and lo! it's her again.  She greets me warmly by my first name (which I'd not given) and we go to one of the desks.  She's chatting away "how have you been ?", "not seen you in here in ages" but Mr Thicko here is thinking about work so just politely replies.  Then at one point in the process I have to lower my mask and she comments "beautiful".  Still not quite switched on, I say that I get called that very rarely these days and she says "oh, but you're lovely".  Suddenly my brain kicks into gear and I reply "well you're pretty lovely yourself" at which she smiles and giggles and says "thank you!".  When our business is done, she gives me her card with a mobile number handwritten on it and say "if there's anything else you want to ask me, just give me a call".

So off I went and pondered for a day or two, then on Thursday dropped her a text along the lines of "Hey it's <my name>.  I do have a question for you actually, when are you free for a chat ?".  About 5 mins later a reply "I finish work at 6".  So gambling all or nothing I replied "Drink before you go home ?".  There is then a pause of 20 minutes and I think I've blown it (or worse, in these #metoo times).  Then a ping "Meet in the <name of pub a few minutes walk from branch ?".  Game on !

So we had a couple of drinks, and a good chat, turns out she is actually 33, divorced, no kids and out for some NSA fun.  I was already busy Saturday night, so I suggested Sunday lunch near to mine (she didn't know that at the time).  Very nice lunch, plenty of wine taken (thank god she's a Drinking Asian  ) then I casually mentioned that I lived less than 10 minutes walk away.  "Shall we go there for more drinks then ?" she said and of course the answer was "YEAH !".

She left mine at 7:30 this morning 

So it shows it is possible, even for old geezers like me !

[LLPunting]

Cat's out of the bag now Remington Steel!

Just watched you again in Fourth Protocol you old charmer.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

I have a recent one 


So we had a couple of drinks, and a good chat, turns out she is actually 33, divorced, no kids and out for some NSA fun.  I was already busy Saturday night, so I suggested Sunday lunch near to mine (she didn't know that at the time).  Very nice lunch, plenty of wine taken (thank god she's a Drinking Asian  ) then I casually mentioned that I lived less than 10 minutes walk away.  "Shall we go there for more drinks then ?" she said and of course the answer was "YEAH !".

She left mine at 7:30 this morning 

So it shows it is possible, even for old geezers like me !

Come on!, Bank branch and review!!.

Not that there are many branches left, only one Barclitz left in  Cambridge now!, And why needs to go to a branch anyway these days?..

[willie loman]

Come on!, Bank branch and review!!.

Not that there are many branches left, only one Barclitz left in  Cambridge now!, And why needs to go to a branch anyway these days?..

ive noticed female bank staff like to check out the package of male customers, the size of their balance. and rightly so .

[Stevelondon]

The bloody disadvantages of on-line banking 

[fisherofsouls]

Come on!, Bank branch and review!!.

Not that there are many branches left, only one Barclitz left in  Cambridge now!, And why needs to go to a branch anyway these days?..

Branch of Metro Bank in a Northern city 

[Bonker]

Inspired by this story, I chanced my ..er arm at my local bank.

I have a large deposit to place in your account.
You have a cute bottom line.
Cheque this out love.
I'm a loan, any interest?
Is it a bear market?

No luck.

Tomorrow I'm going to screwfix.

[LLPunting]

Inspired by this story, I chanced my ..er arm at my local bank.

I have a large deposit to place in your account.
You have a cute bottom line.
Cheque this out love.
I'm a loan, any interest?
Is it a bear market?

No luck.

Tomorrow I'm going to screwfix.

Better off loitering at Toolstation

[Thephoenix]

Inspired by this story, I chanced my ..er arm at my local bank.

I have a large deposit to place in your account.
You have a cute bottom line.
Cheque this out love.
I'm a loan, any interest?
Is it a bear market?

No luck.

Tomorrow I'm going to screwfix.

Why not use the hole in the wall?

[Thephoenix]

I have a recent one 

Had a bit of business at Metro Bank a few weeks ago, served by quite a nice-looking Asian girl, can't have been more than 25.  As usual everything took ages, so we were chatting about holiday destinations, eventually everything was done, I thanked her and went on my way.

Last week, had to go in about something else.  Went to the counter, they called a member of staff over and lo! it's her again.  She greets me warmly by my first name (which I'd not given) and we go to one of the desks.  She's chatting away "how have you been ?", "not seen you in here in ages" but Mr Thicko here is thinking about work so just politely replies.  Then at one point in the process I have to lower my mask and she comments "beautiful".  Still not quite switched on, I say that I get called that very rarely these days and she says "oh, but you're lovely".  Suddenly my brain kicks into gear and I reply "well you're pretty lovely yourself" at which she smiles and giggles and says "thank you!".  When our business is done, she gives me her card with a mobile number handwritten on it and say "if there's anything else you want to ask me, just give me a call".

So off I went and pondered for a day or two, then on Thursday dropped her a text along the lines of "Hey it's <my name>.  I do have a question for you actually, when are you free for a chat ?".  About 5 mins later a reply "I finish work at 6".  So gambling all or nothing I replied "Drink before you go home ?".  There is then a pause of 20 minutes and I think I've blown it (or worse, in these #metoo times).  Then a ping "Meet in the <name of pub a few minutes walk from branch ?".  Game on !

So we had a couple of drinks, and a good chat, turns out she is actually 33, divorced, no kids and out for some NSA fun.  I was already busy Saturday night, so I suggested Sunday lunch near to mine (she didn't know that at the time).  Very nice lunch, plenty of wine taken (thank god she's a Drinking Asian  ) then I casually mentioned that I lived less than 10 minutes walk away.  "Shall we go there for more drinks then ?" she said and of course the answer was "YEAH !".

She left mine at 7:30 this morning 

So it shows it is possible, even for old geezers like me !

Must have been your Blue Stratos.

[fisherofsouls]

Must have been your Blue Stratos.

Wrong generation - Old Spice more likely 

[sparkus]

Not me sadly but I heard some men in green uniforms with berets mention "fucking civvies" a lot in a heated conversation so they must be getting loads.

[oxfordcock]

I had  a punt that turned civi if that counts. Booked a meet with a girl called 'spell' or 'spell on you' or something like that in the Witney area (many years ago). Could only do outcall in my car so I went to pick her up and on the drive to a quiet place she kept saying how cute I was. Kept stroking my hair and my leg, thought it was a bit odd but what ever. Once we parked up we got in the back and stripped down, she started sucking me off which was great until she got on top and slipped me in bare. This was during a time in my life where I didn't care much about living so was having lots of bare sex with many people, something I regret but luckily came out the other end clear.

After we had fucked she wouldn't take any money and instead invited me to the pub to play pool. We ended up semi dating for a few months until one day she just vanished.

[lillythesavage]

Not me sadly but I heard some men in green uniforms with berets mention "fucking civvies" a lot in a heated conversation so they must be getting loads.

I once dated a Black girl, who told me she would travel to Catterick, from London, with a friend to get fucked senseless by squaddies, good girl.

[Lou2019]

A thread better suited to r/. No offence directed towards to the OP and I know it's silly season and this omicron thing has kept people indoors. Best place you've had a wank on another thread. Have I logged onto Birchplace by mistake or are people cranking one out to UKpunting?

Lol that’s what I thought OPs after some wank fodder

[Doc Holliday]

Lol that’s what I thought OPs after some wank fodder

It is a bizarre question?

I don't have time to type mine out as it lasted almost four days. In addition I don't wish to reveal the identity of the sheep farmer.

[Lou2019]

It is a bizarre question?

I don't have time to type mine out as it lasted almost four days. In addition I don't wish to reveal the identity of the sheep farmer.

4 days! you devil lol

[Doc Holliday]

4 days! you devil lol

They can take some catching, even with the help of an experienced Border Collie.

[Thephoenix]

It is a bizarre question?

I don't have time to type mine out as it lasted almost four days. In addition I don't wish to reveal the identity of the sheep farmer.

Baaa Humbug!



Hidden Image/Members Only

[LLPunting]

They can take some catching, even with the help of an experienced Border Collie.

Not if you're not already in the Border Collie.

[sparkus]

I once dated a Black girl, who told me she would travel to Catterick, from London, with a friend to get fucked senseless by squaddies, good girl.

Gang bang, twos up or just a packed weekend?

Surely anyone wanting that could just hop across to the various Surrey barracks?

[timsussex]

Gang bang, twos up or just a packed weekend?

Surely anyone wanting that could just hop across to the various Surrey barracks?

Up Guards and at them !

[lillythesavage]

Gang bang, twos up or just a packed weekend?

Surely anyone wanting that could just hop across to the various Surrey barracks?

No idea, but knowing her all of them and threesomes with the friend, no Idea why they chose Catterick but guess they had their reasons, maybe greater numbers 
Living near Kings Cross it is probably easier to go North than get a short way South.

[daviemac]

No idea, but knowing her all of them and threesomes with the friend, no Idea why they chose Catterick but guess they had their reasons, maybe greater numbers 
Living near Kings Cross it is probably easier to go North than get a short way South.

Catterick isn't the easiest place to get to, they would need to get the train to Darlington (2 1/2 hrs) then it's a 45 minute bus ride to Catterick. 

[sparkus]

No idea, but knowing her all of them and threesomes with the friend, no Idea why they chose Catterick but guess they had their reasons, maybe greater numbers 
Living near Kings Cross it is probably easier to go North than get a short way South.

Perhaps just a preference for certain regiments then

Or for officer's mess.

[Rick2468]

Easily my best civvy experience was hooking up with Carly Holt a few times. She did a few topless shoots for Scoreland but not many and isn't the most prolific model out there. This happened about 15 years ago and I was really into curvy busty women so I was loving it.

She was on Faceparty so I messaged her and we moved on to chatting on msn as you could only send 10 messages a day on Faceparty if you didn't pay for premium. I thought she looked hot and we exchanged some photos over msn, without me even asking she sends me a few topless selfies.

She said she thought I was fit so I suggested meeting up. She lived in Manchester I was in London but I was more and prepared to drive there to meet her. She said we could meet but she would not sleep with me as she wasn't just after sex and she didn't think a relationship would work due to distance. I said "Sure of course, it would be great just to hang out with you" which of course was bullshit I was still hoping we would have sex.

So I went to see her one weekend and she suggested I went straight to her place. Crazy when you think about it as she didn't know me that well and I didn't know her. Shortly after I had settled down we were on the sofa and she put her hand on my thigh and kissed me on the cheek. I looked over and she was smiling so I went in for a snog. I started touching her boobs and she didn't mind. I said "Shall we go upstairs" and she said "I think we should." Ended up fooling around for hours.

I then went up to see her a second time and pretty much the same happened. Then I went up a third time and I tried to kiss her and she pushed me back and said she didn't want it to just be a sex thing. I said okay sure and was annoyed I had travelled all that way. I was due to stay over but I said I had a headache and went home. I didn't talk to her again. Really shallow on my part but back then I got a decent amount of action so when Carly said no to sex I just went looking for the next shag.

[lillythesavage]

Perhaps just a preference for certain regiments then

Or for officer's mess.

No idea, but that is where they chose to go.

[joe diddley]

A really beautiful girl (as it turned out) phoned me once when I was in my late 20s and still single, and reminded me that we'd met at a nightclub that I used to go to. She'd got my number from a mutual friend and phoned me asking if I'd like to meet. I couldn't remember her for the life of me but said "yes" and she came round to mine. She arrived and I was struck by how attractive she was but still couldn't remember until she confessed that I wasn't the guy she'd been looking for. Our mutual friend, on hearing about her description of me, got me mixed up with another fellow called Max. She had been hoping to meet Max; our friend whom she phone thought she meant me.

As it happened we hit if off and she stayed the night. We didn't fuck but had 69 involving her rimming me (a first for me). We went out for a few weeks and I even met her mum who was lovely, but it didn't really work out and we split up. To be honest I didn't really want to be in a relationship at that time of my life and was a little relieved, even if it meant no more rimming from this raven-haired beauty.