I knew I had a couple of hours to spare in Birmingham, so looked at places to get a sensual massage close to New St. Station.
Booked via text message the day before, 1hr for 60mins.
Nail bar upstairs so you have to walk through a shop.
Arrived early but no problem and went downstairs to their massage area. Paid the cash and stripped off.
Loads of paper towels over the bed, no towels.
The worst massage of my life. Not sensual, not beneficial, not professional, not anything. Barely used any oil. No cock and balls swipes, barely any inner thigh action at all.
Flipped over and after a while literally pointed at/prodded at my dick and said "You want massage there?". Based on the massage so far - no.
Continued to give a shitty massage where the final 15mins was all head, face and neck... and not in a good way either. Think - a bully at school scrubbing your head with his knuckles.
Was glad when it was over.
The look on their face when I told her that it was shit was priceless.