Is there any way of determining which massage parlours offer happy endings?

[Bigwilts]

The general signs have been covered, but don’t be too forward and find yourself in the papers as some have done for propositioning a masseuse, or potentially giving off the wrong vibes and worrying the masseuse that you are the police/council/media.


The signs aren’t always 100%, but a late night establishment with neon lights and “no sexual services” signs & posters can mean that they are.

Staff in uniforms can mean it’s professional, but can also give extras
The same goes for leggings etc
But tiny little skirts don’t often mean only legitimate services.

If they stand at the head end and lean into you then that can be a hint, drop your arms over the edge and they may lean into your hand or you can make accidental brushes (but don’t push it too far unless they are encouraged)
If they climb onto the table and straddle you then it’s not necessary a sign
If they allow you to be naked it’s probably a good sign but not guaranteed

If they keep stroking your arse crack, balls, tip of your cock then that’s a sign, but just a tiny brush in passing might not be

There are however the times when they are uniformed, don’t brush anything, dont hint anything - and then ask if there’s anything extra that you’d like


If you want guaranteed then go for an escort or knocking shop, if you want a massage with an almost guaranteed happy ending then look for reviews, but if you’d like a massage with a bit of will they/won’t they then pay your entry and see what happens

[rickyponting]

If I go to a new place ,I quite like the will she,won't she aspect of it.

Having said that,I've never been to one yet that's been legit.

I have always been offered something ,but then again,I am hansom man.

[s0whatsnew?]

The point of asking  "have you been here before?"  is to see if you know the going rate for extras there or if she can try to get more out of you by quoting a much higher figure.  The average rate for an HE is around £20 or £30 if you find her really attractive.  Extra xtra costs are in the lap of the gods but shouldn't come to more than a direct AW advert for that particular service at the cheaper end of the range.

[webpunter]

Bollox thread, better than most trolling efforts to waste time

Edit:  by @psychotosspot

Whilst tosspot sits back & admires his handiwork

Aside from this 4 hands offering on the ad / website is usually a good sign

[senordingdongs]

I know a girl from way back that does it and she’s non nude, basically does cash point meets and posts up restaurant bills on social media  and some idiot sends her the money. They get nothing in return. Then I noticed she’s started demanding £200 for a response on Twitter and sure enough multiple men do and £400 for a text.

There are some really gullible men out there

[daviemac]

I know a girl from way back that does it and she’s non nude, basically does cash point meets and posts up restaurant bills on social media  and some idiot sends her the money. They get nothing in return. Then I noticed she’s started demanding £200 for a response on Twitter and sure enough multiple men do and £400 for a text.

There are some really gullible men out there

Think you're on the wrong thread, this one's about massage parlours.

[webpunter]

He must be having an @seniordingdongs moment
Bless
 

Think you're on the wrong thread, this one's about massage parlours.

[catweazle]

Interestingly,  I had a long post session chat with my current favourite  masseuse. She said she had an older customer, who objected, quite vehemently,  when she fondled  his cock. She finished a legit massage, and then directed him to another (100% legit) establishment in the same town.   She said she believes that orgasm is an essential part of the whole massage experience.   (She is a very good, qualified masseuse  btw)

[Ste1977]

Lots of good advice here already, the main one being just search on here. After a while you just get to smell them out though. "Thai" is almost always extras. The location is also a give away (although not always). Also look at the services list, if there is a long list of things like lava stones and hair removal then chances are its too legit. I always undress and lie face down naked on the table, it sends a soft signal but not something a legit place would be too perturbed by.

One of my favourite times was when i was standing in the reception a respectable looking woman came in the shop and she had a booking. I spent the rest of my time there, mind racing whether she was using the place for genuine treatment or to get off like the rest of us. Did she know?

[The Vicar of Dibley]

I agree with the answers here but it's important to remember that it is not the shop that gives the happy ending it is the masseuse and just because one punter got a specific service doesn't mean everyone will receive the same.

[PsychoTeapot]

Total noob for nearly 2 years?

Yep. Joined, forgot password and only just figured it out.

[Adoniron]

I agree with the answers here but it's important to remember that it is not the shop that gives the happy ending it is the masseuse and just because one punter got a specific service doesn't mean everyone will receive the same.

That's true; some girls may do more than others but if the shop is known for providing extras (ie isn't totally legit) I think they will tell the girls that they are expected to provide at least HE.

[catweazle]

I agree with the answers here but it's important to remember that it is not the shop that gives the happy ending it is the masseuse and just because one punter got a specific service doesn't mean everyone will receive the same.

Very much the case. Additionally,  some masseuses offer more on repeat visits, once they've got to know and trust you. But always always always its YMMV

[IAmNotFamous]

Very much the case. Additionally,  some masseuses offer more on repeat visits, once they've got to know and trust you. But always always always its YMMV

👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼THIS 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼

Please members don’t ever think that if one member receives a service that you are also entitled to it.

Don’t spoil it for others by saying “Well you gave so and so xyz the other day”. Next thing you know she stops offering the service completely.

Got FS on my fourth visit with one SP(years ago)With another SP, two visits and no extras. Mileage varies user by user, SP by SP

[jseop109]

I have received extras from parlours in the past. It's quite a while since I went to one, so I have nothing to review anyway. But if I had, I think I'd be a bit hesitant to go into any detail in a review. Extras are not advertised services like those offered by a WG with an AW profile. I'd be a bit wary of getting the girl, or even the parlour, into trouble. 

[IAmNotFamous]

I have received extras from parlours in the past. It's quite a while since I went to one, so I have nothing to review anyway. But if I had, I think I'd be a bit hesitant to go into any detail in a review. Extras are not advertised services like those offered by a WG with an AW profile. I'd be a bit wary of getting the girl, or even the parlour, into trouble.

Post it weeks or months after the encounter 👍🏼

[daviemac]

I have received extras from parlours in the past. It's quite a while since I went to one, so I have nothing to review anyway. But if I had, I think I'd be a bit hesitant to go into any detail in a review. Extras are not advertised services like those offered by a WG with an AW profile. I'd be a bit wary of getting the girl, or even the parlour, into trouble.

You can always review the advertised services, there's plenty of members who are interested in the quality of a massage. Most of us know YMMV in massage parlours and a lot of people like the WSWS aspect.

[LLPunting]

Post it weeks or months after the encounter 👍🏼

Which is useless if the girl has already been sacked for breaking rules, being crap or moved on.

If you're here on a punting site and refusing to post intel about paid sex services offered or received in a massage parlour then why be here at all?  This site is about serving punter interests not protecting the pressumed reputation of a lady or business.  If a lady offers services for a fee, even if she indicates they are available after further custom, then she is indicating she's selling sex services, regardless of how conditional they may be.

[daviemac]

Which is useless if the girl has already been sacked for breaking rules, being crap or moved on.

If you're here on a punting site and refusing to post intel about paid sex services offered or received in a massage parlour then why be here at all?  This site is about serving punter interests not protecting the pressumed reputation of a lady or business.  If a lady offers services for a fee, even if she indicates they are available after further custom, then she is indicating she's selling sex services, regardless of how conditional they may be.

Reviews can be posted up to 6 months after the event, there is no requirement to post immediately.

I notice you've chosen to ignore my reply #66 so let me ask you this. -

How does it serve punter's interests to post about unadvertised services if it results in the girl getting sacked so she's no longer there to offer the service to anyone. 

[LLPunting]

Reviews can be posted up to 6 months after the event, there is no requirement to post immediately.

I notice you've chosen to ignore my reply #66 so let me ask you this. -

How does it serve punter's interests to post about unadvertised services if it results in the girl getting sacked so she's no longer there to offer the service to anyone. 

Upto 6 months (or more) is possibly useful if the intel is still actionable i.e. the SP is still trading.  If she's not then what good is the review?  Perhaps we get some indication of form for the management involved    She may return in which case fair enough review once she does, noting where certain services received are no longer on her menu.  If she doesn't come back then all we have is unactionable history, a punter's memoir, a perhaps frustrating or cautionary tale over a pint.
If the punter has good reason to believe she won't be in the area long then for the sake of the rest of us here it would surely be best if the review occurs before she leaves?  Thus serving UKP's raison d'etre.   

Sorry DM, confused by your reference to #66, I hadn't read it when I composed and posted #67.
I'm talking about extra services a lady offers to the punter for a price in comms or in the room.
Most massage parlours and their ladies mentioned on this site as offering extras advertise on various listing sites where they either don't mention any sexual elements or they categorically (and mostly ironically) state "no sexual service".  It is the unwritten rule that services are either discussed in comms or in the room i.e. unpublished.

If we're talking about the situation where a bloke goes to a legit establishment based on an advert in mainstream media (Web, TV or print) or by innocent recommendation by a presumed non-punter, where the certainty is high that there is no sex allowed (and perhaps the punter wasn't after extras), then it would be understandable if conscience triggered discretion and he might keep schtumm.  But if the supposedly legit practitioner asks for money in return for performing a sex act then why shouldn't that be fair game to review here on UKP?  Are we supposed to believe the SP who says she only does this for us as an individual?  Are we to assume that the establishment has a rule of prohibition which we haven't been informed of? 
Sure if there's a warning sign on the walls but then I've only seen those in ropey parlours under scrutiny by councils rather than legit places I've been.

The punter could review only the legit aspect here and say nowt about the paid extra but then whose interest would he really be serving here?  If he's posting with an unseen *nudge nudge wink wink say no more* and chooses to only tell some people via PM then that's anathema to the site ethos. 

[wirehair]

I was in an Asian parlour in the USA recently and the sign on the wall in the room said “Please note we do not do massage so please dont ask” 😀 Well you couldnt have made that clearer!

[daviemac]

Upto 6 months (or more) is possibly useful if the intel is still actionable i.e. the SP is still trading.  If she's not then what good is the review?  Perhaps we get some indication of form for the management involved    She may return in which case fair enough review once she does, noting where certain services received are no longer on her menu.  If she doesn't come back then all we have is unactionable history, a punter's memoir, a perhaps frustrating or cautionary tale over a pint.
If the punter has good reason to believe she won't be in the area long then for the sake of the rest of us here it would surely be best if the review occurs before she leaves?  Thus serving UKP's raison d'etre.   

Sorry DM, confused by your reference to #66, I hadn't read it when I composed and posted #67.
I'm talking about extra services a lady offers to the punter for a price in comms or in the room.
Most massage parlours and their ladies mentioned on this site as offering extras advertise on various listing sites where they either don't mention any sexual elements or they categorically (and mostly ironically) state "no sexual service".  It is the unwritten rule that services are either discussed in comms or in the room i.e. unpublished.

If we're talking about the situation where a bloke goes to a legit establishment based on an advert in mainstream media (Web, TV or print) or by innocent recommendation by a presumed non-punter, where the certainty is high that there is no sex allowed (and perhaps the punter wasn't after extras), then it would be understandable if conscience triggered discretion and he might keep schtumm.  But if the supposedly legit practitioner asks for money in return for performing a sex act then why shouldn't that be fair game to review here on UKP?  Are we supposed to believe the SP who says she only does this for us as an individual?  Are we to assume that the establishment has a rule of prohibition which we haven't been informed of? 
Sure if there's a warning sign on the walls but then I've only seen those in ropey parlours under scrutiny by councils rather than legit places I've been.

The punter could review only the legit aspect here and say nowt about the paid extra but then whose interest would he really be serving here?  If he's posting with an unseen *nudge nudge wink wink say no more* and chooses to only tell some people via PM then that's anathema to the site ethos.

You are making statements about the rules and what should or shouldn't be included in a review and, apart from the fact what you say is totally incorrect, it has nothing to do with you. There are mods, admin and owner who are here to clarify any questions about the rules or reviews.

Even after you have read my reply #66 you are still disagreeing. Let me remind you, this is an escort and MASSAGE review site, there is a dedicated section for massage reviews, if you, or anyone else, feels massage reviews don't serve any purpose don't read them but do NOT tell others not to posts them or what you think should be included. All massage review by female providers are welcome.

Fact, massage parlour owners read this site and as a result sack staff for providing extras, fact, independent massage providers  have stopped operating or at least advertising because of reviews. I know of one independent masseuse in the NE who's husband actually joined here to check on his wife and as a result she stopped the happy ends. All this you say somehow benefits punters.   

I've said this often enough members should read reviews, take from them what information they find useful and act on that information.

[Gameboy121]

You are over thinking it. Go Chinese. ASK for extra's. If they say no (I've never been refused, even with signage on the wall), then you  know. They won't call the police. The closes I got to a refusal was years ago when I was told by one women who said she was a Chinese Dr. That she did not do HE. Ok says I. At the end, she got the receptionist to wank me off buf stayed and watched! To long ago for a review but fresh in the memory

Thai places are much less likely IMHO to offer and may tell you to put yr trolleys back on (or not remove)