External Link/Members OnlyI'd like to report the luck that has been draining from my boots for most of the year had stopped, but regrettably it hasn't.
So Hot and Sexy Lisa, not hot, not sexy and no way is she called Lisa.
Not the greatest on the phone as she can barely speak English, text messages directed my to one of the apartment blocks on the outskirts of Merry Hill. Hiding behind the door and was led into a room that was close too total darkness, so much so I had to ask for a light to be put on so I could sort out the paperwork. Stripped and got on the bed and she disrobed. Would I say she was a size 8 as advertised, possibly somewhere under the rolls of fat. Was given a 1 minute covered blowjob that was barely passable, was going to ask for owo but something stopped me and I'm glad it did. She tried to get me to have sex and I told her I'd paid for half an hour and she could carry on sucking. This time she excelled herself and gave me a 2 minute awful blowjob. So I thought to hell with it her pussy can't be worse than her mouth. Wrong again, pussy felt like it would have been a rattle fit even if I'd fisted her and it had loads of lube too, I've got a good girth and I couldn't feel a thing, it was like fucking a cloud. I asked her to change position and while she was moving around I was pulling the condom down to my balls as it had ridden up a little and what she said next made me rethink the punt. She said 'you want sex no condom extra £50'.
So I asked for a hand job to finish and she couldn't even do this right. She now started answering her phone which had been constantly going off, wanking me with one hand while she text with the other. After a couple of minutes of this pathetic treatment I said forget it, It seems you're obviously busy I'll go home and have a wank. Got dressed and when she opened the door the next guy was waiting on the mat to come in. I said to him don't waste your money mate, worst punt I've had, she's bloody awful. Walked past him and didn't look back.
Pro's
The door out of there.
Certainly born a woman, no surgeon would make a fanny that loose.
Cons
Run for the hills, she does
Bareback.
Too dark.
Constantly on her phone.
Can barely speak English.
30 minutes paid for, walked after 15 minutes.
Paid £70 for the half hour, total waste of money.
