Mininmising risks of being caught out

[Spanish Lad]

All you punters who are married or in a relationship measures do you employ to minimise risks of being caught out?

I have my own set of criteria which I try to stick to which works for me. Obviously common sense is the main thing but over the years I have picked up little tips.

Without going into too much detail about my home/work set up I don't get a great deal of free time during the day. I normally always time my punts for around midday when I have other chores to do such as grocery shopping or a business related visit. the more chores to fit in the better as this gives more leeway for excuses about lost time.

keeping a secret cash stash which I add to small amount by small amount.

Don't punt too close to home!

In my earlier days of punting I was almost caught out once or twice after coming home smelling of cheap perfume. Now I always shower afterwards but you also have to be careful with this. Some of the shower gels available can be quite pongy also. I have managed to get away with "what is that smell?" questions by saying that I tried an aftershave tester in a shop.

Any other tips to add?

[threechilliman]

Similar to my own. Here's some of my rules:-

I ask the girl not to wear lippy or perfume
Just rinse afterwards - use a bit of soap on the old chap only
Carry a tin of your own deodorant at all times - covers all manner of sins

I always arrange things so that I arrive home before the wife to give opportunity to sort myself out. Better still when she's away.

Sweetest thing she says to me is "I'm going to be away one night next week. Will that be a problem?" My answer? "No". My thought? "Yes, Which WG will I be seeing!"

[Missfilan]

Don't have an outcall to your home if possible as a woman can often tell that the bed has been disturbed even if you try to put it back to how she left it. If you do have an outcall then do not put condom wrappers etc in your own bin and check all bedding for hair even if you plan to wash the sheets or there is a good chance it will be found the next time she strips the bed. Request that the wg dresses discretely and shake her hand at the door in case a neighbour has spotted you. Check under the bed!

Incalls, check your clothes for hair! I have long hair that can get everywhere so it's the first thing I check before a client leaves. Shower before you leave if poss and like others said, don't go straight home.

[grandmaster-ram-rod]

Don't have an outcall to your home if possible as a woman can often tell that the bed has been disturbed even if you try to put it back to how she left it. If you do have an outcall then do not put condom wrappers etc in your own bin and check all bedding for hair even if you plan to wash the sheets or there is a good chance it will be found the next time she strips the bed. Request that the wg dresses discretely and shake her hand at the door in case a neighbour has spotted you. Check under the bed!

Incalls, check your clothes for hair! I have long hair that can get everywhere so it's the first thing I check before a client leaves. Shower before you leave if poss and like others said, don't go straight home.

would shaving your head improve safty to your clients ?

[Neal69]

Incalls, check your clothes for hair

Check check and check again.

I found a long blonde hair in my bath that could not have belonged to Mrs N.

Even though the WG was meticulous about checking me for hair before I left one still got away.

I don't use any perfumed deodorant normally so a shower or bath is a must before OH sees me. Recently on the drive home I could smell something and could not locate where on me it was coming from. It was the WG's body lotion. Not strong but enough for a suspicious nose to sniff out if not careful.

[Happyjose]

Don't let your hobby affect your home life. Maintain your normal relationship with your OH, including a healthy sex-life (assuming it was healthy before you began punting).

[CBPaul]

Beware of using shower gels you don't have at home
Never punt and return straight home to the OH
Use a punting phone
Use incognito browsing and wipe all traces just to be sure
Shower using your own gel or just plain water or use wet wipes to clean the business area before getting dressed
Request no perfume
Have an excuse lined up for being at the location
Don't use your sat nav
Don't drive or park like a twat and get a ticket
Don't get married

[Skirt]

if you have a fruit based phone be sure to turn off the tracking services - which are on even if GPS is turned off!

In settings go to Privacy:
--> Location Services
--> System Services
--> Frequent Locations
Make sure this is turned off, at the very least it stops your phone 'learning' where you have been and this appearing on the cloud storage site/phone sync folders.

(I think I saw this on UKP before but could not find the link, Kudos to the OP whoever you are  )

[Missfilan]

would shaving your head improve safty to your clients ?

Or I could start rocking a 1950s hairnet lol

[Toshiba]

Biggest way of getting caught is scent/make up/hair

Never get complacent is the best advice and never if you can go straight home to her

Ive neen guilty of all of the above and up to now got away with it

[SirFrank]

Don't shit on your own doorstep

[grandmaster-ram-rod]

Or I could start rocking a 1950s hairnet lol

lets  go with bald, you could charge extra for a head polish 

[Missfilan]

lets  go with bald, you could charge extra for a head polish 

That's quite an image you put in my mind lol but somehow I don't think it will catch on. 

[Mark321]

Dont get a stick. imagine you get chlamydia with NO symptoms. Then your wife catches it.

[jake_6969]

I keep a spare bottle of shower gel, the same one I use at home, and a tin of deodorant in a bag tucked away discretely in the car. If she ever found it the simple explanation is that it's for when I do overtime at other places away from my normal place of work. The same thing goes for a body scrub flannel thing.

I tend to punt with one girl only and we have an agreement of no perfume etc. I always see her as the first of the day so if she needs to trash it up a bit then she can after I leave.

I drive home with the windows open to try and dissipate any odours that may be lingering.

I plan my arrival home at a time when she is likely to be out so I can get another shower.

I plan my punts a fair way in advance and log them on the calendar as "training", my job entails constant updates on new techniques etc. Or I'll book an evening out as union meeting etc.

[garyrcc]

I often leave the house looking like this, so far so good

Hidden Image/Members Only

[Toshiba]

Beware of using shower gels you don't have at home
Never punt and return straight home to the OH
Use a punting phone
Use incognito browsing and wipe all traces just to be sure
Shower using your own gel or just plain water or use wet wipes to clean the business area before getting dressed
Request no perfume
Have an excuse lined up for being at the location
Don't use your sat nav
Don't drive or park like a twat and get a ticket
Don't get married

"Dont get married".....brilliant 

[Greenman]

Don't use a shared computer
IPad always clear history Everytime you view -door bell rings /phone rings /go out of the room
Incase you trip up etc
iPhone same as
Clear you map sections
Clear your texts with addresses
Most common number subsistute a 7for a 8 on third digit Just incase someone ever checked
Note book on car
Make sure you chuck out the page behind incase you write it hard and it shows up on next page faintest
Clear you sat navigation
Clear you hands free numbers called
Sticky plaster incase a girl dug a nail into your back
Try to get home and have a shower before misses returns
Remember to dry the bath !!
Always keep your punting cash separate and hidden
I remember came back washed and my jumper was reeking of perfume so
Frayed some bacon to get fumes all over the jumper to disguise it 

Always be careful and look outside the box