Sweet alexxxa - Epsom

[deek12345]

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sweet alexxxa Epsom

40/60/100 for 15/30/60


There are lots of words you can at times apply to an escort/masseuse. Warm, friendly, sexy, chatty, smiley, engaged, seductive, bubbly, enthusiastic, great actress, eager, entertaining, hungry, horny, teasing. Unfortunately, none of those remotely apply to this one when i met her.

There is a country song called “ Did I shave my legs for this ?”. After this meet I asked “Did I shave and shower for this ?”

I met this girl (to add ‘working’ would be an overstatement) this week.

Agree service by text. Communication all by text and Ok

I first ask her what is included in the £100 for one hour ?
Reply “ normal service”
I ask her to be more clear
It’s Sex, OW, massage and 69.
I ask again, she agrees all that is included in the £100.

She is in a block near Epsom Station

We agree a time. I arrive a little early and text her from station to say I’ve arrived.

She phones me.
Where are you?
At Epsom station
Wait by door, I collect you

I’m a bit worried about being met and escorted away. It’s busy outside the station and taxis with drivers wait by the kerb, but I think ”None of these drivers are my relatives or neighbours, who cares if they know what’s going on”.

I wait by station entrance door
Another call
“Where are you”
“By station door”
I get different instructions
In the end I wait by her block entrance and get given flat number and am let in.

I’m let into the flat, quite dark but girl is very slim and quite attractive, not B&S. A woman of few words, she points to my shoes. I take them off ..She points down, “leave”.

No warmth, no smiles. Looking back now, I realize that she was radiating a sort of hostility/indifference. I’m no spring chicken but am slim clean and not ugly. I have never felt that hostility before.

She is dressed in plain oldish clothes, no make up. No attempt to look attractive much less seductive. Looks like she’s just been to the corner shop. Movements stiff and abrupt. Attitude cool.

We go to the room. Bleak, bare. A bed with a sheet, a lamp on the floor. Just a fuck space.

I ask to use the toilet, she wants to be paid first

“ I have to pay you before I can use the toilet” ?

“Ok go on then”. with an expression that would crack glass.

I pay her. She goes off to stash the cash. She starts to strip off. No suggestion of sexily helping me strip, or taking her clothes off seductively. This is pump n dump. She is very, very thin, but nice little round boobs, which feel natural.

“ What do you want to do” delivered as if asking me if I prefer boiled or baked potatoes.

Her phone is playing some foreign pop station.

“Start with massage ? “ I say
“You want massage me ?”
I meant it the other way round, but say nothing. I don’t mind massaging a girl.

I reach in my bag and take out a small clock
 “What is it for”
“ It’s a clock so I can tell how the time goes”
“ You dont need, I have clock I tell you”
“ Well I can see this one”
“ I tell you when time is up”
“ I want to know before time is up”
“ you don’t need”
“ Look, do you have a problem with my clock”

She shrugs, stops arguing. A bad start really.

She lies face down, I massage her shoulders and back for 10 minutes, but she is mute during the massage. Usually in this position on the bed, her face down and me standing at her head, most girls will reach up and play with the dangling tackle. Not this one. I ask her to turn over, open her legs and start reverse oral, which usually produces good results and big O….hoping this will animate her. Nope.

A few quiet sighs but no obvious reaction. For almost ALL of the time (20 + mins ? ) I’m doing it she is looking at and fiddling with her phone and changing music channels. Once or twice i question this. I should have left then. She is utterly indifferent to what I’m doing, I realise finally she’s not going to come. I stop trying.

“You have 15 minutes, what you want to do now ?”
“How about oral” I say, but by now I am so disheartened, and not in any way turned on, I don’t think I can get an erection, which proves to be true. In my mind I’m out the door.
I give her a condom from my bag and lie down on the bed. She starts to put it on my totally limp dick, and tries to suck some interest out of it, or into it.  It’s not working.

I say” don’t bother – that’s enough”.

She says “I don’t know what I do wrong”.

I’ve never owned or used a pump up doll. My guess is that apart from the ability to walk, there was little difference between one and Alexxxa.

Its only when I’ve left, I realise that in all the time I was there, she never once touched me, anywhere, not with the hands or any part of her body. No interaction or enthusiasm of any sort.

Other reviews are positive so YMMV.

[Marvelous]

With this one i felt you had to take the lead and be a bit assertive, as otherwise as you described very passive and she follows a set routine.

I managed to get some banter out off her and found her very preety in a natural looking way.

[AxC]

That's a generous neutral. Christ, what do they have to do to get a negative?!

[deek12345]

I agree with AxC, should have been negative.

I agree some girls are passive, and need leading, but this one had no animation and made no attempt to bring any pleasure to me. She's in then wrong job.

I gave a neutral because i sort of felt that if i had been going there just to get someone young and OK looking to lie down and open her legs and get some OW and then pumped - for 15 minutes P&D or maybe 30 minutes, she would have been Ok for that.

Thats why i referred to the pump up doll.

just on the basis of EXTENSIVE use playing with the phone during RO, it should have been negative

The phone got more attention than I did.

Maybe i got her on  one of her 364 bad days

Proceed with caution...but dont book an hour

[thekman100]

That's a massive negative if ever I heard one.

I think I know this girl through another girl a long time ago. I've had a half decent punt but I had to take total control plus, her body turned me on so I got off pretty well.

But I can totally understand how you got your lacklustre service. I hate those punts. You wished you'd stayed home and watched porn!

You have got me thinking about that body again though....

[RandomGuy99]

Sounds like she was a newbie and she struggled with the language barrier and how you like to do bookings. Whipping out your own clock would have annoyed and upset me if I was an escort. I would have taken that as you not trusting me. Maybe you should have guided her a little more and she would have gotten the hang of what you like.  I think us punters expect all SPs to be experts at instantly clicking with everyone that walks through their door.  It actually must be pretty difficult.

I've seen a couple of British newbies and they needed a little guiding to get things going and then it went well when they'd relaxed a little.

Your bag would annoy me too if I was an escort and was all setup with my lube, condom and clock and you walked in and said "No, let's use all of my stuff"

I think assuming all SPs are going to have the Big O is a wrong assumption too. You expected her to orgasm. She clearly wasn't interested in having one.

Foreign country + foreign language for escort + newbie escort + magic bag + bloke + lack of communication/direction from punter <> a good punt

I'd be tempted to try her again but without your bag of stuff - how does she trust your clock or condom? Look at events from her perspective. She thinks she is there to please you then she thought you wanted to massage her as you get off on that, so she let you do your thing), more communication from you on what you like and see how it goes.  She looks great

[BanksRobin]

Sounds like she was a newbie and she struggled with the language barrier and how you like to do bookings. Whipping out your own clock would have annoyed and upset me if I was an escort. I would have taken that as you not trusting me. Maybe you should have guided her a little more and she would have gotten the hang of what you like.  I think us punters expect all SPs to be experts at instantly clicking with everyone that walks through their door.  It actually must be pretty difficult.

I've seen a couple of British newbies and they needed a little guiding to get things going and then it went well when they'd relaxed a little.

Your bag would annoy me too if I was an escort and was all setup with my lube, condom and clock and you walked in and said "No, let's use all of my stuff"

I think assuming all SPs are going to have the Big O is a wrong assumption too. You expected her to orgasm. She clearly wasn't interested in having one.

Foreign country + foreign language for escort + newbie escort + magic bag + bloke + lack of communication/direction from punter <> a good punt

I'd be tempted to try her again but without your bag of stuff - how does she trust your clock or condom? Look at events from her perspective. She thinks she is there to please you then she thought you wanted to massage her as you get off on that, so she let you do your thing), more communication from you on what you like and see how it goes.  She looks great

She's been around since July 2017 so unless she has taken over someone else's profile she is not a newbie.

This has got "shit punt" written all over it from the outset. The messing around and waiting at the station, the indifferent greeting and no smile upon meeting, no attempt to tart herself up for her client .... all the signs of someone that isn't very professional or can't really be bothered.

I don't know why she thought you would want to massage her when asking you if you wanted a massage. Even more of a mystery is why the OP didn't tell her he wanted the massage instead if just going with it. Either way, I would have said I don't want a massage and I'm not massaging you - seems like a time wasting tactic to me.

I will agree that the bringing your own bag with clock and condoms is for me just weird; if you are going to do this I think you should tell them in advance. I can understand you might bring your own tootbrush or tolietries so you can freshen up on arrival and exit but clock and condoms is only going to make a half-arsed whore more uncomfortable.

When I'm in this position and I can detect that this is going to be hard work with someone who can't really be arsed I focus on trying to get something out of it if I've already handed over the money. Even if I have to think of someone else I wll get a hard-on and fuck her and try and make her work and get some of my monies worth.

I personally wouldn't return if I went through this. Agree that you should lose the clock and condoms and for your own wallet try and be more communicative in what you actually want.

Hope the OP has better luck next time!

[AxC]

There was a Bulgarian Alexa working in Epsom a couple of years back. She headed off to Milton Keynes and was never heard from again. She was good.

This isn't the same girl.

[RandomGuy99]

And my advice is next time you say something and the SP misunderstands you then you should politely and subtly correct them as sometimes small miscommunications can have a big impact on how you and the SP interact on a booking.  It sounds pretty obvious but sometimes we just go with the flow, but that flow can go off in the wrong direction if you're not careful.

In your case, had you said you wanted her to massage you then you might have got a better service instead of her thinking your thing was to please her and she could relax and let you do your thing.

[deek12345]

in reply to random guy.

I appreciate that you obviously want to give this lady the benefit of the doubt, Why, I can't imagine. I can't remember if you've seen her and had a totally different experience to draw from, or you just don't like my review and are just sitting on the sidelines putting your views about what might have caused this lady to provide such a charmless experience. 

Many SPs and massage parlours have a clock in the room. This one didnt. Many guys on UKP talk about getting short timed. I've never had a problem with taking a small clock. Why should a WG worry who has the clock, a clock doesn't give you extra time - it just records how much time you have had. As anyone who properly reads my review will see, the attitude started from the time I arrived at the station, and carried on from the time i stepped in her door. It didnt start with the clock.

It was made PERFECTLY clear what service i was going to get because i took trouble to ask before the meet about precisely what services were to be provided.

I was told, massage, 69, sex, oral, (both ways).

I don't recall anything in the pre-meet texts about "you will massage me", so there was NO reason for her to expect that was my intention. As it happens (as I have said) I don't mind massaging a girl. I quite like doing it. Most girls like it and it can ease tension, so I was perfectly happy to go along with the misunderstanding , if that is what it was. BUT, when a girl offers/states massage as part of her service, I don't think its normal to automatically expect the client to massage her. It was just a piece of sarcasm on her part.

You may (or maybe didn't) notice, that I didn't criticise her for not coming during reverse oral. I said that for most of it (and it went on a long time), she was using or playing with her phone, which may explain why she didn't come.

Most guys on UKP consider using a phone during a punt is a NO-NO. This wasn't just answering an odd message, she was using the phone as if i wasn't there.

As for bringing my own condoms, I do that because i'm a bit on the large side and a tight condom is no use to anyone.

As for the bag. I carry a small shoulder bag because (as a matter of courtesy to the girl) i like to bring mouthwash, a very small container of hand sanitiser for me to use , tissue to spit mouthwash into, antiseptic wipes to wipe my tackle beforehand, a small bottle of water, my phone, wallet, keys. And a small clock. I cannot imagine why anyone on UKP would find my carrying a shoulder bag questionable.

In the room in question, there were none of these things.

In fact, until i agreed to massage her, she didnt even have any massage oil. She went out and came back with  some hand cream. Totally unsuitable for anyone to massage anyone. Fortunately in my "offending" bag, i had brought some massage oil.

And i had not been provided with an address, just " call me from the station". How the f**k was i supposed to know what "go to door beside garage" meant.

Make excuses for her if you wish. By any stretch, this was a shit punt from the outset with a humourless, detached WG. But others found her better so YMMV. Lucky for them. I reckon its a P&D.

Give her a try. Don't take a bag, or a clock.
 

[RandomGuy99]

Thank you for your more detailed explanation of events.

I hear what you're saying regarding the need to know how the time is going.  I've recently been caught out myself by that one.  I just think you could have done it more subtly in order to avoid creating an atmosphere in the room.  It sounds like the SP was new and was a bit disorganised in her way of working. I've never taken a clock or watch to a booking and have relied on the SP's clock and on an occassional time check ("how are we doing for time?").  I've found that my approach works most of the time, but I have fallen foul of 3 SPs who cut my time short.  Perhaps a watch or something more discreet would be better instead of setting up your own clock, which smacks of "I think you're out to rip me off, so I'm going to keep track of time" .  Some SPs might also think it's a camera filming them.

I also hear you on bringing your own condoms and other bits.  I also carry some of those items as a backup, but not in a bag that I lay out at the start of the booking.  I usually wait until the appropriate point in the booking and ask the SP for a condom and maybe suggest lube. If the SP doesn't have the right stuff then I'll offer to use mine.  This approach avoids any awkwardness at the start when you are trying to get comfortable with each other in the room.  Maybe your SP had a stash out of sight that she was going to use or go get.

I hear you on the phone use but I have found it to be fairly typical for indie massage providers to be using their phones during a booking. It's not great but it doesn't really affect the booking if I'm lying face down. I understand why they do it as they're setting up others bookings for the day.

To me it just sounds like a certain atmosphere was in the room from the start. Given the atmosphere you might have been better off walking at the start.

[masons]

Massive negative for me. Im liking the clock idea though!!

[deek12345]

Another (my last ) reply to random guy.

First...let me suggest you READ my review. The fact that you are content to lie face down while a SP uses her phone to check or make bookings is irrelevant, quite apart from the fact that most/all punters on UKP really DONT like it...except maybe once briefly. She was being paid to concentrate on ME.

I made it VERY clear in my review (well clear enough for anyone who wants to read it or accept it)...that i was giving this lady oral for a long time, during which she was of course lying on her back. For all of that time her phone was beside her or mostly being used to fiddle with to find music of send texts . I actually have no idea what she was doing. Even when i asked her to stop, she didnt,

Utterly ignorant bad manners. You will be be alone in excusing her.

I didn't LAY OUT the contents of my bag...that is your invention. I laid the small clock on top of it.

Similarly, when she was going for oral, i went to the bag to get a condom. Never had any problem before with any WG over that. Only with your favourite.

I should have walked, but done it when she wanted paying before letting me use the toilet. That was the point I should have known i was in the presence of a money grabbing, miserable, rude woman.

You know a lot about her and how i should have behaved/reacted

i must read your own review of her.