£30 for one hour + £10
External Link/Members OnlyExternal Link/Members OnlyToo many itches and not enough scratching left me rolling the VS dice again. Bai Yok had closed for the day. Queens is closed all day on Sunday. Nam Pear didn't answer (until "Hi" the day after). I had already seen Siam and was tempted to return or to go back to Friends Massage. Then I saw this ad again and remembered sending a message without reply but saw some positive reviews online. So I fired off a text and crossed my fingers.
Prompt reply within five minutes and ten minutes later, I'm heading through Bury to track her down. More traffic than I hoped but her directions for flat and where to park (National Tyres) were spot on so I'm only five minutes late.
It's all a bit kooky inside, there seems to be a reasonable sized reception room, a room off it where the magic happens and more rooms behind reception. Possibly a kitchen and bathroom.
As the ads portray, she's a busty Thai. Well technically mixed race so she's paler than most with curves all over. I comment on how good her English is and she calls it "clap" and describes herself as a foreigner who's only been in the UK for six years. She claims that she's only worked for herself about eight months. Before that a mixture of occasional massages at other shops and working in a care home.
The main room is a box with a wooden table up against one wall, the size and style of which reminded me of a model railway. There are pillows and cushions along the wall edge and just enough room for her to navigate the other three sides.
She's dressed in fishnet stockings or tights under a short leather-look skirt and a neon orange bra-cum-vest affair under a stocking-style top so you can see swathes of flesh through it. The makeup is exaggerated so all in all, she's dressed more like she's clubbing than working.
She has a lot of personality. When she chats, which is often, it's nineteen to the dozen but all the while she's moving around delivering a reasonably structured, borderline medium massage. It feels good but it's hard to drift off so I laugh and joke along with the chat.
When she paused from talking about herself, she asks what I usually have when I get a massage. I don't know if she's fishing so I say a variety, sometimes soft and slow, sometimes a hard, stretching, yoga massage and sometimes something in between. If she was fishing, the only bite she picked up on was the fact that she doesn't do a deep tissue massage. With those nails, I'm not surprised.
Before the turnover, she gets a hot flannel/towel from a bowl of soapy water and gives me a bed bath on my back, backside and legs. It's more leisurely than Hattie Jacques's matron might administer but a lot less sensual than an Asian soapy massage.
After the turnover, it's more of the same. No teasing but reasonable structure and again she swaps from standing on each of the three sides or hopping up onto the table where there's plenty of space at the foot and along the wall for her to squat and work. I don't recall any instance where she straddled or swapped sides by moving across me which is a shame, as the length of skirt would have struggled to maintain modesty.
The chat doesn't let up and moves on to other customers and other parlours and other girls. Again, I give up letting it wash over me and join in but that makes relaxing less easy.
Not much to say about the rest of the massage. More about this and that, the strokes customers pull to try and hoodwink her, other parlours, what they offer and so on. The boy bits are neither ignored, nor lingered over and then it's time for the bed bath. Again, it's thorough but neither rough nor sensual.
That said, the hour from door knock has been and gone and she's still going. More talk about what other girls do and it's clear that both deep tissue and body to body aren't on her list of services. She's not keen on working too long after dark either because people are more likely to want sexy massage!
When she does call time, I ask for a head massage and she disappears with the bowl to wash her hands first. It's not bad and the headache that threatened to get worse recedes. She spends about five minutes, still chatting away, and then calls time again. I hoist myself up and she disappears as I get dressed.
Overall, I'm in a good mood so I give a tip but I'm not sure if I would rush back. The massage isn't hard enough to get the kinks out and isn't kinky enough to get me hard. She's not ugly and I wasn't short-changed on time but the chatting bordered on incessant. EM
