We have a winner.............for the worst massage experience yet.
External Link/Members OnlyPreviously reviewed here:
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=257094.msg2639850#msg2639850 - but you have to be in it to win it, right?
Comms, parking and location were great, cannot fault it. Sara herself is probably early 30's, sort of attractive, friendly. Paid £70 for an hour massage & b2b with HE.
Answered the door in her dressing gown
You know you are going to get a great punt when they make f**k all effort in the appearance department - it looked like she had just woke up. Led upstairs and that's when the wall of stale smoke smell hits you. As a smoker, it tends not to bother me too much but this was rank. House was utterly freezing and got some bullshit excuse about the heating not working - well fuck off and go and get a portable heater love! You know, one of those £10 things from a hardware store with that £70 i'm giving you or some other poor sods money from before.
Asked for a shower - It was hot! Whoop! Sink full of fag ash. Went through to the "massage room" which was a spare room with a £10 charity shop single bed shoved in the corner and a couple of tea lights on the floor - I shit you not, that was it, absolutely nothing else in the room other than a bottle of baby oil and tissues. My wet shower towel became my shield against herpes from the mankey charity shop mattress. Still freezing my bollocks off.
The massage was terrible, she has no idea how to massage. No pressure, no rhythm, no flow - I have had better massages from non punting partners. B2B was a nipple or two on my back. Flip after 25 minutes, robotic HE and fucked off to warm up in the car. Asked for a shower before leaving only to be told she had no water
You did 40 minutes ago???
TDLTR - Shit massage, shit heating, shit in the sink, shit HE, shit "massage table", shit effort, shit time keeping, shit.
