Was in the Crewe / Nantwich area over the holiday period and decided to see what was available. I had already done some homework (thanks easyzx6r and others
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=112199.msg1304032#msg1304032 ) so decided on Royal Orchid in Nantwich. The details are the same as in easyzx6r’s report so won’t duplicate here. They do not seem to have a working website as the link on the local Yell directory just goes to a big 404.
Walked in off the street. One lady on reception (not sure of name but it sounded like Malee) and then in bounds Joy. Lots of “looking for good massage babe”, “make you nice and relaxed babe” …. well you know the patter.
£40 for the hour although there was some muttering about being lucky as it was normally £50. From all the reviews on here I was exepcting £40 and that's what I was charged.
Shown upstairs to the room, all reasonably clean but probably could do with refurbishment. Remembering that I’m here for a punt and not a visit on behalf of the local tourist board, the condition of the premises suddenly became an irrelevance.
Encouraged to have a shower by Joy whilst she got towels etc. and put the heater on in the bathroom. Left to shower and then back into the room. Jumped on to the table face down and naked. In walks Joy along with the other lady.
It must have been a slow day as both ladies started to massage my back and legs. Joy was more methodical with legs first then back / shoulders etc. The other lady worked the other way down and about ten minutes in decided to make sure my backside was scrupulously clean by using wet wipes between my nut sack and my back. A good sign as far as I was concerned. Lots of CC swipes and “accidental” massaging of the old fella. The massage by Joy was really good and quite hard on my back – exactly what I wanted. So full marks there. What was not so good was the constant chattering between the two in the local lingo (no, not Crewe / Nantwich, I am thinking more Thai)
. There was the occasional “big boy” etc. which as we all know was for my benefit rather than being factually accurate.
On the flip over, lots more “big boy” stuff and a few swipes / pokes at the old fella. Out come the wet wipes and my groin along with the old fella were given another good rubbing down. Then came the question… HE for £20 each. I declined but said I could go with £20 for one. Joy accepted and proceeded to massage my front which culminated in a great HE, she certainly knows how to prolong the pleasure with lots of oil, two hands on the shaft and teasing of the bell end. She was probably going for the best part of ten minutes. The other lady returned to reception. Nothing else was offered and I didn't ask.
In summary, it was a brilliant experience with a four hand massage for £40 plus another £20 for the HE (£60 total). I had a shower on the way in and on the way out and was in the room for at least 50 minutes – probably 55, so not short changed there.
Will I go back again – sure although will not be expecting the four hand massage at that price.
