This is a review that happened a few months ago. A fairly short notice outcall.
I was at a loose end one Friday evening and so i had a scout around for any last minute possibilities for an outcall.
I found Lauryn London. On first sight things looked promising, plenty of positive reviews on UKP and although taken wiattth a pinch of salt consistent AW feedback was 100% positive and over 100.
For me that’s where the positives cease.
One contact was established few texts back and forth to make arrangements & confirm, very short and sweet, but to the point. I like to establish a slight connection, but she wasn’t prepared to entertain this, so I felt it was off to a bad start. Still I was thinking with my cock, and when this happens, it can be 50/50 that it works out. Booking request sent. Agreed a 2 hour booking at usual rate of £240. No frills, no extras, meh.
Service offered very vanilla, but none the less covered most of the things I would ask for.
Lauryn arrived on time and was greeted with a slight off stance, exactly how her texts were. Made very strained small talk and she came inside I should have never let her in. My initial reaction was that she wasn’t someone I felt I would usually see. Looks I would give 4/10 mainly for her large chest and long legs, profile says size 12, and from her pics would be about right, but definitely heavier in person, closer to a 14ish all round just plumper. Other than the size of her chest and niceish legs, there wasn’t anything I was remotely attracted to on her or about heer, but so be it she was here now so might as well get on with it. I guess it was the girl in the photos I wasn’t sure but most likely, and the profile says she kisses, and she had confirmed this by text.
Paperwork exchanged and drinks sorted and to the bedroom.
She stripped off and in fairness the chest was rather impressive, but my heart sank when I saw the grotesque mound of hair. I’m not a fan of the hairy pussy, had I have read the profile with more care I would have seen this. Major negative for me.
Leant in for a kiss which she states she is good at. It was like kissing a wet fish, no rhythm or idea of how to kiss so how she claims to kiss very well, and even some other reivews say so, well I’m not sure and what is usually a major turn on was nothing more than massive a turn off. Even the gentle petting was a chore-it very half hearted and it didn’t help that the breath odour was far from fresh, quite nasty so I recall later to learn she is a e-cigarette user so this would account for that.
So to try and move forward I get between her legs and brace myself, it didn’t smell as such but there was something I didn’t like, hairs up my nose and in my mouth I licked and persisted for as long as I could heaving a few times I had to give up on it, a minute, perhaps two at most, usually I get carried away, but coud not physically do this. Though she did seem to enjoy it even if I didn’t.
So to let her do her thing sucking was something she was good at. Initially began ok nothing overly special the technique was mediocre head bobbing with some help from me I became hard. So on with the dom and slid next to Lauryn and entered her. Initially felt ok, not tight not loose. So gave her a good pounding which she seemed to like. My heart really wasn’t in it because of all the negatives so far, but i had to see it through or waste the money.
Eventually I cum into the bag and round one over. Small talk about the current escort climate. A few stories from me about past experiences. Tells me some tales of woe, how she can barely afford to survive. How people have skanked her blah blah.
Tried to initiate round two with a repeat of each stage, except the RO which I just couldn’t do. The breath seem to get worse and so even the kissing had to stop for me as was doing nothing for me. She again began to suck and revive him, this time far too much teeth involvement led to the most uncomfortable blow job I have had in a long long time. Again as before I helped to get it hard and on with dom two and on to doggy. Easily slide inside and give it a good hard pounding which resulted in a some minor noises from Lauryn but unsure what it was she was the noises meant lol.
Continued this for 10-15min and finished in the bag, at a struggle.
That for me was enough - hour and 20 gone. I explained to Lauryn I had an early start the next day so would she mind leaving early.
She got up straightening herself out went to the bathroom and dressed. Thanked her for coming and she headed off.
The sheer relief was overwhelming that it was over.
To summarise.
No attraction at all looks as said 3/10.
Bodywise ok big boobs but the hairy pussy was a majorly off putting another 3or4/10.
The bad breath and general body odour left a lot to be desired. The blow job technique and the attempts at kissing both lacked anything really so both big disappointments overall service, well not much more than a 3.
A nice enough girl but not for me, a bit boring to talk to, and seemed very dull away from escorting.
Would I see again, no absolutely not. Would I recommend no I cant recommend someone who I haven’t enjoyed or had a good report about.
Based on the above what I felt were let downs as not much was delivered with any interest or effort and so the entire meeting for me was just something I wanted to forget.
I’m giving it a negative based on the lack of delivery and lacklustre services, especially the kissing, and blow job, the bad breath and twinge down below, I can only think was contributed to by the mass of distgusting hair so hygiene was a big put off, and well the over lack of interest.
She doesn’t seem to even enjoy what she’s doing so should probably consider a career change.
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Topic: LAURYN LONDON - LACKING EVERYTHING - MAJOR WASTE OF TIME (Read 1341 times)
