Mental health and escorting ... does it really matter

[Milly153]

I recently had a discussion with a customer. The topic was in line of ... he had avoided seeing certain women again due to signs of mental health (i.e cuts on arms etc)

Now at the time of this discussion I was in complete agreement with him in that it was 'weird' to be with someone like that as it likely means they are not stable. But since then, I have had a think and tbh, I do not think that that's true. Many people face mental health issues even in white collar jobs.

Curious to what you think and whether you would see someone who was a good punt but in reality they had told you or you had seen a sign of a mental health defect.

[mrfishyfoo]

I won't see cutters.

Old wounds I can handle, just, if the lass is a 1st class fuck  BUT only after they are properly healed.

[Milly153]

I won't see cutters.

Old wounds I can handle, just, if the lass is a 1st class fuck  BUT only after they are properly healed.

Coincidentally cutting seems to be the one that was mentioned with great distaste.
What if it was something you couldn't see, adhd, ptsd, depression....etc?

[Spunky34]

Cutting may seem more offputting because it’s something you may be able to detect even before a first meeting from photos etc.  A condition without visible scars you wouldn’t. 

I think ultimately my view would be that if I became aware on a first meeting that someone had mental health issues I would probably not see them again - personally I would worry that if something went wrong (even just a bad meeting), I could be seen as exploiting someone in a vulnerable position.  And of course depending on the nature of the condition you could find yourself in a situation which you think is unpleasant or dangerous.

[mrfishyfoo]

Coincidentally cutting seems to be the one that was mentioned with great distaste.
What if it was something you couldn't see, adhd, ptsd, depression....etc?

I'm not qualified to spot that stuff. 

It's an interesting topic this one as we're all just a wee bit fucked in the head whether we admit it or not.

TBH I think this is more suited to UKE. 

[Milly153]

Cutting may seem more offputting because it’s something you may be able to detect even before a first meeting from photos etc.  A condition without visible scars you wouldn’t. 

I think ultimately my view would be that if I became aware on a first meeting that someone had mental health issues I would probably not see them again - personally I would worry that if something went wrong (even just a bad meeting), I could be seen as exploiting someone in a vulnerable position.  And of course depending on the nature of the condition you could find yourself in a situation which you think is unpleasant or dangerous.

This was my first thought, but if people with mental illness in white collar jobs can hold on high stressful jobs, can’t someone with the same illness be held to the same regard while escorting?. or does this veer into social/economic accountability where you are considered more vulnerable (and rightly so at times due to the inability to make positive life decisions?
 

[Milly153]

I'm not qualified to spot that stuff. 

It's an interesting topic this one as we're all just a wee bit fucked in the head whether we admit it or not.

TBH I think this is more suited to UKE. 

True,

I will check in with uke at some point as genuinely curious.

[Jock D]

Was there really any need to start a new thread?

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=246715.0

[Ali Katt]

I'm not qualified to spot that stuff. 

It's an interesting topic this one as we're all just a wee bit fucked in the head whether we admit it or not.

TBH I think this is more suited to UKE. 

+1 to both. I was shot down on the other thread for pretty much saying the same thing.

I will not see anyone with a drug problem, even if it is say something like Methadone.

[Milly153]

Was there really any need to start a new thread?

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=246715.0

I am talking about all mental health and not just self harming. I only searched mental health and there seemed to be nothing on that.

[Spunky34]

This was my first thought, but if people with mental illness in white collar jobs can hold on high stressful jobs, can’t someone with the same illness be held to the same regard while escorting?. or does this veer into social/economic accountability where you are considered more vulnerable (and rightly so at times due to the inability to make positive life decisions?

In my view, it isn’t about regard or respect for the person, it’s about safety for me as an individual.  Meeting an escort as a punter  is already a situation with potential for disaster/embarrassment/loss.  Even if I have met someone several times, there could be consequences if the wrong person saw me going  or leaving.  To me, adding in a mental health issue which (because I’m ignorant) I wouldn’t really know how to react to, would just make me feel uneasy throughout. 

In a workplace there are all kinds of support mechanisms, checks and balances which are rightly designed to help all kinds of people to thrive.  You don’t have that in escorting, it’s a transaction between two individuals.

[daviemac]

I am talking about all mental health and not just self harming. I only searched mental health and there seemed to be nothing on that.

You will get a far more balanced response on UKE, it's more suited to this type of discussion.

[Milly153]

In my view, it isn’t about regard or respect for the person, it’s about safety for me as an individual.  Meeting an escort as a punter  is already a situation with potential for disaster/embarrassment/loss.  Even if I have met someone several times, there could be consequences if the wrong person saw me going  or leaving.  To me, adding in a mental health issue which (because I’m ignorant) I wouldn’t really know how to react to, would just make me feel uneasy throughout. 

In a workplace there are all kinds of support mechanisms, checks and balances which are rightly designed to help all kinds of people to thrive.  You don’t have that in escorting, it’s a transaction between two individuals.

Interesting reply migrating risk and assessment. I agree. It is a personal choice to what degree you are comfortable. It might be that being female and in this field I am more likely to sympathise- it certainly a factor. I backtracked before (hence the post) but that comment has put it back to perspective.

[Milly153]

You will get a far more balanced response on UKE, it's more suited to this type of discussion.

I will do a forum search and post if I find nothing. It might have been already discussed which will make for an interesting read:)

[Spunky34]

Interesting reply migrating risk and assessment. I agree. It is a personal choice to what degree you are comfortable. It might be that being female and in this field I am more likely to sympathise- it certainly a factor. I backtracked before (hence the post) but that comment has put it back to perspective.

I guess I am likely to be more cautious than most, I used to be more willing to give WGs the benefit of the doubt on all kinds of matters but about 3 years ago I realised I had spent a lot of money and wasted a lot of time on mediocre punts, and the final straw was getting robbed.  After that I realised just how many bad escorts there are out there - on a scale from the honest but unreliable through the lazy and misleading to the downright malicious - that I decided I was not going to meet anyone unless literally everything felt right from the very start.  Unsurprisingly I have met hardly anyone since then. 

[Bonker]

Very difficult question to answer, for me. I guess the closest I can get is "it depends". On the type and severity of the illness, how it affects her ability to work as a prostitute, how able she is to make an informed choice and how safe she, and her clients, are.

People with mental health issues deserve to work and make a living. Why should I deprive them?

Am I helping her or exploiting her?

Is the work helping her cope or messing with her mind?

I'm quite a tough old bastard but I do think of the women. It's a very demanding job, mentally as well as physically.

I once saw an EE girl and a I was leaving I saw her flatmate in the next room and she looked like a zombie. Have me a look that showed all the pain and despair of a trafficked girl. Gave me shivers and haunts me to this day.

[webpunter]

External Link/Members Only

Hookers start as crazy 7+

Mostly

Apply some of this to burds who open their legs for cash

Bear in mind with cutters what could be next on the chopping block, so to write 

One more comment = plenty more fish ........ cast your rod out elsewhere

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Edit:  crazy 8+

[Marmalade]

Who gives a fuck. If it doesn’t affect their job.

I’m not their shrink. I’m paying them, not vice versa.

[tesla]

A few years ago I had a regular I realised after a few meets she was an alcoholic after a long chat and many tears on her part I decided I could no longer see her as  it supported her addiction I have felt bad about it as she was a nice person but having lost a member of my family to alcohol some years before I had to walk away.

[BaronVonProdger]

I once saw an EE girl and a I was leaving I saw her flatmate in the next room and she looked like a zombie. Have me a look that showed all the pain and despair of a trafficked girl. Gave me shivers and haunts me to this day.

Did you do anything? Not judging, just curious.

[HarryZZ]

Mental health is very subjective, as has been mentioned we're all a little bit messed up so who's to say what "normal" is, there would be many people in civvy life that would suggest that being either a punter or an SP already suggests that we have some sort of mental health issues, but we can all rationalise our involvement, and given that there are more people with classical mental health issues that those involved in the industry perhaps they're right (Surveys suggest approximately 8% of the population use prostitutes and as many as 25% suffer from some sort of mental health problems). There is no normal, we're all different and I would think psychological issues are only as prevalent in either side of the sex industry than in any other walk of life. So it's not a special problem for us.

But the question, "does it matter?" particularly coming from a service provider, is a strange one, we are supposed to completely disassociate the physical and the emotional from the transaction, I wouldn't be ringing up an SP the next day to ask if she had a nice time, it's over, no more than I would expect her doing the same, and not just to be discreet, if I was concerning myself too much about the feelings of an SP then I would have a problem, so it's not that that we don't care it's more that we can't.

[Home Alone]

Cutting may seem more offputting because it’s something you may be able to detect even before a first meeting from photos etc.  A condition without visible scars you wouldn’t. 

I think ultimately my view would be that if I became aware on a first meeting that someone had mental health issues I would probably not see them again - personally I would worry that if something went wrong (even just a bad meeting), I could be seen as exploiting someone in a vulnerable position.  And of course depending on the nature of the condition you could find yourself in a situation which you think is unpleasant or dangerous.

Totally agree with every word of that, Spunky.

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

Tricky one this.  Old self-harming scars - not my problem.  Any sign of something recent/ongoing, I'd be very wary.  And any report of an incident where a fellow punter has been threatened or whatever - no chance!

It's about personal safety.  And as I keep saying to those who don't see the need for anonymous punting phones, you're being very naive if you think you won't get into trouble just because you haven't done anything wrong.  One bogus allegation from a mentally fucked-up WG could ruin your life.

[Marmalade]

I personally think this thread should perhaps be locked.
i) we are not a forum of shrinks
ii) attention seeking thread from SP (should be on UKE)
iii) one aberration (self-harm) doesn’t mean the person is fucked up mentally in other ways (just as cancer wouldn’t mean you have leprosy)
iv) it has fuck all to do with punting — punt with who you like and discriminate against who you like, you’re the customer.

[Ali Katt]

I personally think this thread should perhaps be locked.
i) we are not a forum of shrinks
ii) attention seeking thread from SP (should be on UKE)
iii) one aberration (self-harm) doesn’t mean the person is fucked up mentally in other ways (just as cancer wouldn’t mean you have leprosy)
iv) it has fuck all to do with punting — punt with who you like and discriminate against who you like, you’re the customer.

I agree. I think it's an interesting topic, but more UKE material.