Author Topic: Leena-massage, Swindon  (Read 2120 times)


16 review(s) for Leena-massage (7 positive, 6 neutral, 3 negative) [Indexed by johnny34]

Offline Uoti2

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only+

1 hour "sensual massage" incall, £80

Communication: by voice and text. Efficient, if impersonal. Leena does her own 'phone calls.

Location: apartment (shared) in a converted terraced house in Old Town, Swindon.
No on-street parking immediately outside. Pay-and-display nearby.
Inside, apartment might be used by more than one girl; not sure. Workroom fairly tidy and reasonably clean. Bed firm-ish.

Accessibility: challenging. If you're in a chair, change that to "hopeless" and don't even try.
Steep steps and trip-hazards aplenty from pavement to main front door. Indoors, up three flights of stairs that aren't easy even for the able-bodied. Didn't see a lift: it's possible that there was one hidden behind a locked wooden door (of which there were several).

Appearance
Short and on the chunky side. Her face was okay in an Easter Island sort of way, especially as it was almost entirely immobile throughout the punt. Perhaps she CAN smile, but doesn't except as yet another chargeable extra.
Tits might have been good, but I couldn't tell, because they were visible only through a partially-see-through garment and I refused to pay TEN POUNDS EXTRA just to see her nipples clearly.
Age: early thirties at a guess; faintly possible that the claimed twenty-seven is accurate.
Long dark hair (on her head, silly) does look good, but that's the only "appearance" plus point that I can remember.

Personality
Apparently not.

Services agreed and delivered
Massage, HR
Services NOT offered or given
No nudity (I was naked, but she wasn't). No CIM, OWO or OW, fair enough because none expected. No kissing, which was a bit mean. No B2B. No M-F touching of any kind, which was VERY mean. No cc-swipes, no spontaneous F-M touching of naughty bits, and none at all unless you demand it at the time. No indication of emotional involvement, fake or genuine. No talking. No smiling. No, really.
Delivery of services that WERE agreed
Leena gives a reasonable Thai-style massage, though she wasn't anywhere near as good at it as she seemed to think she was. I was happy to let her spend up to twenty minutes or so playing proper masseuse, because one of the things I wanted from this punt was some proper Thai massage. But not a whole punt spent on it. I'd booked a "sensual massage" with Leena and I was determined to get the sensual bit as well as the massage bit.
As we neared twenty-five minutes in, I interrupted her obviously gearing up to have a fourth go on the same shoulder and asked very politely if we could move on, please. And suddenly, Leena didn't speak much English. Just enough to indicate, with the aid of unmistakable gestures, that I could have either more of her "proper massage" or about two minutes of being wanked aggressively: which did I want? She refused to admit understanding anything else.
"Well what do you normally do, for a sensual massage?" I asked. She didn't know what I meant.
"You've done the upper part of my body and the lower part of my body, so can't you do the bits in between?" I asked. She didn't know what I meant.
"You wan' face an' neck?" she burbled. I didn't know what she meant, but it clearly didn't mean anything I wanted it to mean.
This annoying interchange went on for about two minutes, during which our positions - and nothing else, sadly - hardened. I wanted something sensual. She wanted to sulk.
We both "won": she sulkily and resentfully touched me up from behind while I was still prone.
Eventually we both got bored with our silent war of attrition. She towelled down my back and legs, then got me to lie face upward. She arranged herself, her lube, and some tissues in a promising way - and then assaulted my member with wipes to "clean" it. It wasn't dirty; in fact, it was totally untouched, especially by HER. Besides: wtf? Romanian-style chicken-strangling with wipes, for a HANDjob?
She was a lot gentler and more capable with the actual HR than I'd expected, but she still contrived to do it in a miserably soulless and truly dismal way. I stared silently at her tits, Hammer's "Can't Touch This" playing in the background (no of course not, but it might as well have been) and thought about handling I've enjoyed more during other punts, which was easy because that was almost all of them. I did eventually come, but the imaginary sound-track shifted almost at once to Mr Jagger singing, "I can't get no..."

During the session
No interruptions.
Lots of time-wasting, e.g. repeatedly rubbing limbs that had already been thoroughly rubbed.
Clock-watching throughout.
Didn't really give me her full attention. She didn't play with her phone, or talk about her pets, or any of that sort of thing, but she might as well have done.

After we finished
The shower dribbled rather than spurted; inadequately explained as some plumbing issue on the day. (I THINK the ironic symbolism was accidental. If not, then it was very heavy-handed.)
Back in the room, as I began to dress, I asked some polite and non-controversial questions that obviously I didn't care about but was asking to give Leena a chance to lighten the atmosphere. She didn't cooperate. I gave up, and in gloomy silence I put on the rest of my clothes and left.

Door-to-door punt duration: 52 minutes.

Summary
Pros: good comms when booking; moderately clean and tidy; reasonable massage technique
Cons: dumpy; unfriendly; mean-spirited; misrepresented services; clock-watcher; mechanical; poor vfm, despite low headline rates

Would recommend to others? No.
Would I see her again? No.

Offline HappyHarryIV

Nice detailed review - thanks a lot for this.

Offline Uoti2

Thank you! It's always good to know that a review has helped in some way.
I had a feeling that Leena might be moving to a different area of the country, but as of yesterday she was still advertising her services, such as they are, in Swindon.

Offline JUICEGORGER

I just love the "Easter Island" description; thank Sir...will be adding that one to my vocabulary!