External Link/Members Only1hr Massage £50 HE £30
I've learned three things this week:
1. Don't choose an SP purely on location.
2. The quality of the experience depends on the masseuse, not the decor.
3. It's important to see the girl before she starts the massage.
I'd never seen the point of neutral reviews, but the experience wasn't quite bad enough to be a negative, so here goes:
I chose Mimosa, as it was convenient to get to from the M40. There's a large NCP car park near by.
Comms
Comms were excellent, all by text.
Location
The location is reasonably discrete, and the place is clean and recently decorated.
The Event
I was greeted by a tall, attractive Chinese receptionist. She led me through to a massage room, and assuming that she was going to be my masseuse, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself. Unfortunately though, no doubt through some terrible administrative error, I somehow ended up with the Mama San!

It was fairly dark in the room, and, lying face down, I didn't get a good look at the masseuse. The massage was actually very good - firm and thorough, though it was a little off putting listening to her asthmatically wheezing away. Fortunately I'd removed my glasses, so on the turnover things were a little blurry, and we negotiated £30 for HE. Again, this was performed with skill and came to a satisfactory conclusion. It was only on leaving, now wearing my glasses and with the lights on that I realised just how fucking old she was! Difficult to tell with Chinese, but must've been pushing 60. As I stumbled out past Reception, they must have seen the look of horror on my face, as they asked me if everything was ok. In traditional British fashion, I mumbled that it was and bolted out of the door.
Pros:
Clean and well organised establishment.
Good massage.
I coughed my filthy yoghurt.
Cons:
I'm now mentally scarred for life.
