External Link/Members Only - Now in Edinburgh this week, Aberdeen next, and back down south after.
Standard £90/HH - all-inclusive rates. But of an odd one but still essentially ticked the boxes, with a few reservations.
Had been a while since I'd had some bum fun, or any fun with a proper porn-bunny type, so was looking forward to this after contemplating her profile for most of the week.
Messaged her on the day suggesting a time which was apparently available, but I then got clearly bumped in favour of another punter looking for an hour. This was confirmed by the fact it all happened in the period she was apparently "waiting for my reply" - after me suggesting the time, her taking the best part of two hours to say it was available (which effectively counts as taking the booking as far as I'm concerned), then it being mysteriously snapped up in the whole two minutes before I reconfirmed I wanted it.
In any event, I got a booking for an hour later which still relatively suited me and was sent an address to modern, serviced apartments in Charing Cross very near to the Mitchell Library that a lot of touring girls seem to use.
Arrived, got some cash and messaged her to say so at the agreed time. Few minutes of radio silence then ensued, but am used to this as a relatively seasoned punter, so wasn't terribly concerned - especially in her case. Also gave me time to take a desperately-needed piss up an alley. Walked back to the car to sit on my arse for another few minutes before getting the flat number - 15 minutes after the agreed starting time. Pushing it a bit for a half hour, but no big deal and would rather that she take a bit of extra time to clean herself up after the previous punter.
Door answered, directed to the bedroom and overall happy with what I see. You could argue her pictures are slightly flattering, but most profiles are, and she certainly has the exaggerated pornstar look with massive fake tits on a very slim body with too much makeup fake tan and lots of almost-while blonde hair. Definitely older than the 25 on her profile, as it's been much commented on, but still within reasonable hooker-age - certainly didn't feel I was shagging a MILF. Also has the gobby North-West England character to go with it all, which I'll very much get on to further down.
Very friendly, eager and welcoming - but I barely had a chance to look at her and she's sitting on the bed as I stand, head level with my cock, immediately trying to get it out. I love a bit of full-on groping and DFK to start a punt, but even the most basic idea of foreplay clearly isn't in her box of tricks. I try to push this and briefly get some joy, but literally no more than a minute or two later she's practically shouting "Right come on, lets get on with it. Get that cock out, that's why you're here." I also request if she can turn off the shite radio or TV blaring from the the kitchen, to which she briefly implies it's to drown out any noise that could seep next door - rather ironic given they'd know exactly how she's fucking her punters given level she speaks at. But either way insists that it's just background noise that "doesn't matter" because "we're in here (the bedroom) now" - not that there was never any chance of me seeing the kitchen, despite hearing it a mile off. Nor was there any chance of her keeping her moderately sexy outfit on while I fucked her, as I requested in advance. I realise at this very early stage, there's no point swimming against the tide. And right enough, as I predicted there and then, my extreme horn with not wanking in four days, was enough to see me nicely finish in her mouth after some decent-enough, enthusiastic, deep OWO as she flashed her nice-enough arse in my direction.
She's barely spat my spunk into a wipe before she's sucking me off again - so quickly that I have to ask her to go more gently as I'm still slightly sensitive from the load I've just blown, only seconds before. The pre-planned horn doesn't deflate between rounds, especially with the prospect of going up her arse, and after a bit more sucking I suggest some fucking - first with her bounding on top, then taking her from behind with a decent view in a conveniently positioned mirror on the wall to the side of the bed. I then ask, with increasing confidence (as I'd discussed anal cock-size with her before the punt, and she hadn't said anything about me being too big yet) about taking her up the back door. She's happy to let me as long as I let her "warm up" - i.e. ramming her two middle fingers in and out her anal canal and rectum with some lube for a few seconds. I slowly start edging my tip into her at which point she says it's fine just to gently push. In I go, and I'm quite quickly banging away at decent rhythm. Wasn't quite as tight or as sensual as other anal fucks I've had, but it is a second round, so I'm not quite as hard or sensitive as I would be on a first - while as a relatively standard service and mid-evening by this point, her arse is naturally slightly looser. Before long, I'm banging away as hard as is comfortable but stimulating, still with that nice view in the mirror - arching her back to improve it, so I can watch myself pounding her arse, bent over with those giant tits still clearly visible - before blowing another load well-enough in rubber. She eases my way out and cleans off the rubber, with everything clear and fresh enough, considering I've just taken her up the shitpipe.
Well-aware I've been there barely 15 minutes, I've still managed to spunk twice in two different holes, so make my moves to clean up and go, presuming I'll likely be out the door, little more than 20 minutes from when I walked in But it's from this point on where I realise that she's not so much trying to offer a rushed service, as the fact that she's just proper fucking bat-shit crazy and starts to massage my legs with a little lotion, evidently quite keen for me to stay for the time I've booked. From that moment, she just never shuts up - covering topics in loud and utterly relentless fashion as varied as her touring schedule, to Scottish money, her caffeine intake (like she fucking well needs any more of that) and the overly-confusing Glasgow motorway system. I'm usually quite happy to make a bit of chat with hookers post-match if it's naturally there, and am also pretty good at steering it in the direction I want. In this case, however, I simply couldn't keep up - with her somehow jumping from one completely unrelated massive subject to another in a single breath, strongly giving the impression she isn't overly bright, either. Like the kind of conversation where it could potentially be quite interesting, given the subject matter, but still utterly futile as you simply can't relate in any way to the person you're talking with. Accordingly, I take my time in the bathroom, but have little to do other than a quick hand-cock-and-mouthwash, before a proper shower when I get home. When I come out, she's still at it, starting to wonder why she is and that my half hour must somehow be nearly up by now. She asks for the cash, and I hand it over, but even this just keeps her gassing. It's almost as if she's unknowingly on a one-woman crusade to completely destroy the mantra of
You don't pay a ho to fuck you, you pay her to leave.By this point, I've been fully dressed for at lest five minutes and am starting to get fed up, wondering why I'm still there. Accordingly, I start edging to leave in manner so obvious, even she comments on it, but I'm far past the stage of caring. Certainly no uneasiness as a result and she very politely lets me out, checking the way is clear - but even she could tell I'd had enough of her. Check the time on my way down the stairs and right enough, it's only a couple of minutes off 30 since she sent me the address. Was almost tempted to tell her the Chewin' the Fat joke of the posh poofs "payin for the banter" but I daren't stay any longer to explain it.
Positives:- Services as described.
- Looks as described.
- Good comms during working hours via WhatsApp.
- Friendly and polite enough.
Neutrals:
Kept me waiting at the address little, but nothing too bad.
A bit pricey for the nature of the booking, but included exotic services with a pop-average of 45 quid. Regardless of booking length, I always consider 50 or less per blow, as acceptable in today's market.
Negatives:
Bumped my originally requested time for another punter.
Inflexible, overly dominant shagging attitude.
Keen to rush the sex, then spend the rest of the booking talking utter shite.
A bit mental.
Can only be a neutral. Certainly don't regret it, but very much doubt I'd be back.
Topic: Sandy Luscious - Glasgow Tour (Read 2270 times)