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Sunday 12th August, mid morning. Choice of 3 ladies; droid midget (she must live there she is always there AND never busy never!), plumpish woman early 20's weird facial hair and an old woman. I went with old woman I didn't know why then and I still don't now.
Old woman looked ok with all her clothes on and at a distance, sort of like a second hand car that you have come to view looks fab when you see it from a distance across the road but looks horriffic up close.
Dragon as I am going to call her as she can probably morph into one, had the same effect. Looked OK from a distance, in the brighter light of the room and up close; her face had more blemishes than the Bismarck after it had been shelled by the British Navy for 45 minutes straight. Pretty she was not. OK so paperwork done, laying on the bed, no clothes on, I say in perfect English with a bit of a sexy Brummy/Black Country twang "NO OIL chic, ya know bab". Sorted, instructions relayed and understood. I'm listening to some shit music vomiting from her Samsung thats meant to be relaxing. So what happens? I feel her oil covered hands on my back, URGH. I fucking hate oil, I detest it, it makes with want to gag, it does not matter what varient, I HATE IT, the feel the smell the slippyness. She's nattering away in some language I can't understand and rubbing lots and I mean lots of baby oil into my back. That's it, I get up grab a towel and attempt to get that vile stuff off my back. She looks upset but not as upset as me I just get up and get dressed and leave, point to my head and then to my watch and shrug so she thinks I've forgotten an appointment. I can't leave a negative becasue that would be unfair. The woman was willing I am sure she would have given me a great hand job but in the space of 10 minutes and me feeling physically sick now, it wasn't going to happen.
I ask her for a picture on the way out, she says yes but "no flash mister no flash". Ruined my entrire day, I had 3 showers yesterday after coming home and still wasn't sure I got all that muck off.
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