Carolina Polish massage in Epsom - DON'T EVER DO IT!

[Pablo_Escobar]

I'll keep this brief, but i just wanted to warn others in case anyone slips, falls, bangs their head and thinks (like i did) that this was worth a punt.

External Link/Members Only

The location is Epsom... she's located in a studio flat exactly across the rd from a well known guitar shop (so good they named it twice).
Anyway, getting there and parked is easy.. plenty of token parking around and relatively cheap.

The girl.... well this is is where it all goes to shit. I should have walked... but you know that niggling feeling of, well i made the effort to find the place etc, might aswell just go with it. So from the photos, she looks meaty.... not bbw... not skin n bones.. but somewhere in the middle with a huge rack. Well FUGN small she is not... she's HUGE man!!!!!

I went for a b2b massage. Yep, that's right, i swear if i could kick my own ass i would. I had jabba the hut trying to perform a body to body massage on me... felt like a steam roller squashing away my will to live. The 30 mins couldnt go fast enough. It was shit shit shit shit shit shit.............. SHIT. I ended up taking my cock out of her hands as she was wanking me off... asking her to lay to the side so i would come over her chest (which she had offered i could come onto earlier anyway). I just decided with her doing it, it wasnt going to happen. Pop my cork.... jumped in the shower (which is the only nice part of this story) and go myself dressed and left.

I forgot to mention, id messaged earlier to say i wanted an oil massage. When i arrived... nothing was prepared. Took her 10 mins to get oil. WHO the fuck knows where she got it from.... Boots down the rd! I dont know, but she left the flat and then eventually returned. Left me there with her mobile phone charging..... all her stuff. I'm standing in the room, with my pants still on. Thinking, if shit's going down, i'm not fighting naked (of course paranoia always gets me when things like leaving me alone in a strangers flat for this type of scenario happens). Anyway..... DO NOT DO IT. You've been warned. And before anyone asks how big she is... because BBBBBBW's are their thing, she's wider than a standard door frame with tits the size of my whole body.

Also, in case anyone does have any minute fascination... it's £60 for 30 mins, £80 for 1 hr... ONLY massage and HR. I dont know what type of massage she thought she was doing.... but b2b/sensual it was not.


 

[cakerusk]

  did you came out of that place and wrote it straight off?

I am sorry, this was a shit punt but a very funny and entertaining read. I could actually visualise someone having a proper rant.

[AxC]

Is this her?

External Link/Members Only / External Link/Members Only

[Pablo_Escobar]

Yes chaps... it was pretty much written some hours late.... made a typo in the subject header too... it was Carolina.
I had to take a COLD shower whilst drinking iced water and eating ice cubes with ice cream down my pants after that shit.

Also yes that is her from her AW account.


I need a GOOD senual massage......... i should have just gone with Yaya...... ffs!!!! Here's me trying to keep the European dream alive.

[DouglasReynholm]

It's Karolina with a K. Not as in Oh Carolina (Prowl off, jump an prance) Oh Carolina gal prowl off Gal yuh fi jump an prance (Prowl off, jump an prance) Oh Carolina (Prowl off, jump an prance).

If I were left alone on the girl's flat for any length of time, I'd probably get dressed and leave.

[Nonoyes]

OMG hilarious I did the same thing. The usual elements, China health Pound Lane were all closed by 8pm so I was late. Tried this lady as she offered same job for same price.

After I left I took a long hard look at myself and mylife. Good thing is she motivated me to do better in life so I don’t have particate in this sort of behaviour again