External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyBristol, Avon
Visited this evening, half an hour in-call £70
Comms- Good(ish)All done by text, example- "Hi Baby, me free today, I in Bristol You come today?" Pigeon english, as you might expect from a Brazillian girl. When I arrived was unable to direct me to the correct address, 5 minutes of standing around confused obviously blew my cover as a punter in a known area.
Accommodation- AverageOne of 'those' flats opposite Cabots. Dingy, smells of takeaways. Never really an issue to be honest as far as I'm concerned.
Girl's Appearance- ExcellentDefinately the girl the photos. Nice arse (no touching) perky tits (ah ah ah) Loose fanny though.
The MeetFucking horrendous. Eventually made it in the door, theres another punter waiting at the door. Fuck. Me...
Should have walked. Didn't cos I'm an idiot.
Get inside, the flat is shared with 2 birds, another one who was waiting for the other punter, Bianca, tall, leggy, obviously the brains. Turns out she's the one who'd arranged the meet for me as Paloma was asleep.
Bianca rouses her mate, tells her I'm here.
More awkwardness as I'm made to stand in a dark hall on my own for about 5 mins.
Walk. FUCKING WALK.
No, didn't cos as we established earlier I'm an idiot.
Paloma invites me into her room. She's still got sleep in her eyes (or crusties or whatever you personally call them, that little bit of green shit) no make up, fit as fuck still. You like hour? yes please. Paper work done. Comes back in, strips.
Paloma: I do blowjob, sex & you have a shower yes?
Me: Erm, hang on, your profile says you do kissing?
(she really was quite hot, I really wanted to kiss her tbh)
Paloma: No, i do blowjob, sex & you have a shower.
Me: Oh, ok, can I have my money back please?
*Looks at me as if I've just pooped on her granny*Me: Oh, ok can we do have half an hour please?
Paloma: Ok.
What then happened can at best be described as perfunctory and at worst as litterly the most dour, uninspired & pisspoor sexual experince of my life. No touching, just wanking me off, condom on, wanking me off, occasionally sucking, with teeth, horrendousness personified. Got on top for a ride, nope, about a minute if that. Doggy? Nope, I just gave in.
Popped in the condom, got dressed as quickly as possible, no chit chat, nothing. Bye.
Avoid like the fucking plauge. I'd rather wank off my own dad than go back again. Typically, I'm sworn off for a while. Unsurprisingly, a bad experience will almost certainly do that for me.
Yes, I know, I'm an idiot. Thanks for reminding me.
