External Link/Members OnlyComms: This was the best bit as I texted quite late in the evening to arrange a massage etc for the next day and got a fast reply. Very polite (sir) and clear and friendly.
Venue: A flat in an old property about 10 mins walk from Edgware Road Tube. The outside looked a bit shabby, but nothing terrible. Ushered inside and .... oh dear! Straight into a grotty bedroom with bits of old orange peel lying around, and basically a double bed that almost touched every wall. Very low light and an unfresh smell.
The Lady: pleasant Taiwanese chubster, barely any English spoken. Very saggy tits, and could have auditioned for a Michelin lady. Average looking 6/10, body 4/10. Then the bad news... as soon as she spoke, the breath knocked me over. Not garlic, just plain old tooth decay.
The Service: offered naughty massage with HR £60, B2b £90 or FS £120 (all 60 mins). Opted for everything.... dont ask me why !
The massage was performed by her starkers. Frankly Im ok with a bit of padding on a girl, but she really had gone heavy on the pancake rolls. Size 14+ and 38C with big pink nipples. She basically just rubbed oil on my back, neck and hair whilst kneeling on the bed.
After about 10 mins i decided to check out the goods. No kissing allowed but then not a great loss with the dog breath. Sucked her boobs to standard oohs and ahhs. All a bit mechanical. I wasnt getting over-excited but she decided it was time to rubber up.
It was a bit like feeding a mac onto a shoe lace as I was totally underwhelmed. As she lay down legs akimbo i firmed up and inserted. Immediately she invoked her limited "Engrish" and said, "sex only 5 minute" . "You're kidding" i said... and kept it going. "I give blow... £20 " she offered. "No way", i countered, "you already got £120". Plus I didn't want her gingivitis making my knob fall off
She started to warm up and moved to doggy but as soon as i fingered her ring she swatted my hand. I think due to a large hanging haemorrhoid!
Pounded away for a bit longer, then whipped the mac off and got her to roll over and wank me onto those large melons. Nice hand work, a quick release to her expressed approval, "ohhh good good"
She then informed me i had 4 minutes left.... and rubbed oil on my head for gods sake! I think I was being timed to the nearest minute (maybe she's a lawyer in real life!)
Dressed, left to a curt nod and "bye bye".... no this was not an earth moving experience.
In fairness she was average , but oral hygiene a passion killer, and bedroom as inviting as that of a grungy teenager.
Would I return? Not a prayer.... there's better out there
