External Link/Members OnlyMost likely my last punt for a while, or ever. Most punts have been incredible stale and left feeling that there should be more from the money I paid. Edinburgh is just not cutting it these days.
Anyways, onto the review:
Met earlier this week. After a series of stale punts, I figured I'd drop the ball and book Sammy for an hour. I've tried booking Sammy when she was based in Leith but to no avail and her pictures looked promising.
Booking: 1 hour, £120
Location: South Queensferry (took around 30-40 minutes to drive IF traffic isn't terrible)
Looks: It's the girl in the pictures... but they have been photoshopped. Upon arrival, she's a lot chubbier in person. She does have a good figure but yeesh, a lot softer than I'd chimed in for.
Service: I'm not one to sound like a racist POS but fuck, LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH. She kept speaking Portuguese through the entire meeting and expected me to understand her. It made it very awkward anytime she'd tried to chat and all I had to do was nod and smile politely. She's also incredibly peppy, like a yappy dog, and she'll joke around and talk a ton during the meet. Very off-putting.
Had OW (quite toothy and her hands were incredibly grippy), sex in many positions (her decision; not mine) before popping in the bag the first time.
By this point, I'd asked to use the toilet. She then said "shower? yes then 2nd time".
WHAT THE FUCK?? I asked to go to the toilet, not take a fucking shower. Then she grabs both of us a towel and it made for one of the most uncomfortable experiences in my punting career.
I showered reluctantly while she was watching me in the bathroom. Once I was done, she took a shower and was trying to chat again IN PORTUGUESE as I took a seat. As we were leaving, I'd pointed to the toilet seat and said "can I use this?". She didn't understand and I just bluntly told her I needed a piss. She then says "Aaaah okay, go" and
stands there waiting for me to piss like a fucking hawk.
We make our way back to the bedroom and she's giving it the chat again. She then gives me a short GRIPPY AS FUCK handjob before popping the jacket on and giving the toothiest OW I've ever had. I'll give it to her, she's enthusiastic but at what fucking cost!??!
Popped in the bag in her mouth (never done that before) and asked for a post punt shower. She said, "No, you use shower at home". Usually I'd have no problem with that but I felt fucking rotten. WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF THE FIRST SHOWER IF I CAN'T HAVE ONE AFTERWARDS?! The last thing I wanted to do while driving home was smell her perfume and remind me of the horrors that just went down.
3/10 for effort. It was enough to put me off of punting for a while.
