External Link/Members OnlyLocation: My hotel in central London
Physical: Decent looks, very nice body.
Duration: 1 hour - £150
Service: didn't get that far
This was monumentally bad punt. Things started OK with the pre-meet communications going OK. We agreed time and price and that I'd send an Uber to collect er (more about this later). She was a bit off on the phone but not so much that it set any real alarm bells going. Anyway, she arrived on time at my room and first impressions were good and we dealt with the money part. After that things went down hill rapidly. She started by complaining about the smell of my aftershave (I'd put a tiny dab on a shaving cut literally six hours previous) so I said no worries, I'll grab another shower (which I then did). After that, I sat down next to her on the bed - she was still dressed - and attempted to make a bit of small talk prior to getting down to business.
This went absolutely nowhere and was met with a "well, what do ya want to do then?" (who the hell said she was posh?!) - about as enticing as an offer to come up and see me from Norah Batty. At that point I though fuck this for a game of soldiers I'd rather go and have a pint and something to eat so I said, paraphrased, OK, you're obviously not into this and it's not going to be fun for either of us so I'll chalk this one to experience and let you leave now. I honestly thought it was some kind of get the money, be as obnoxious as possible, get the hell out kind of scam and expected her to be happy and head right off. But, no, she was then all indignant stating that I'd paid for the hour and she expected to be there for it!
Anyway, giving it one more chance I said that a massage would be nice to start. At this point she finally got undressed and I can say that her body is very impressive - her one good feature really. I got on the bed face down and she proceeded to give me a painful, back only, pounding that was about as sexy as a wet weekend in Bognor. After a few minutes of this I rolled over and said thanks but I'm done now and then asked her to leave which she did (I called her another Uber). Bizarrely, she texted me a hour or so later saying that she hoped I'd enjoyed myself! I would assume it was some kind of sarcastic comment but I don't think she's smart enough to manage any kind of sarcasm. If I knew a bit more about this I'd suggest she may have some kind of autism spectrum disorder - she reminded me of someone I worked with who has Aspergers - but she could, equally, just be basically nasty.
A postscript on the Uber bit. I have used Uber only a few times (less than 10) and had a perfect 5 score. Later that evening I got an email from them saying that my account was suspended pending an investigation of some sort. Since I'm not a big user I just ignored it and, a few days later, I got reinstated. However, on checking my rating again, it was clear that the drivers had given me a 1 star rating for both the trips she'd taken - seems that she was as horrible to them as she was to me!
Avoid like the plague is my advice on this one!
Topic: Amber_Ambs (Read 2235 times)