STI tests

[David50]

So far I have only ever had massages with a happy ending. I have never had an STI test because I am scared it's going to be very painful when the umbrella thing is pushed down the Japs eye. The main reason I do not see escorts is because of my worry and STI tests . Would be grateful if someone could put my mind at rest

[livingalife]

Umbrella?! No wonder you're petrified.

I'd recommend developing a urethral insertion fetish, that way you can look on it as a free punt.

[David50]

Umbrella?! No wonder you're petrified.

I'd recommend developing a urethral insertion fetish, that way you can look on it as a free punt.

Would prefer not to have anything shoved into my urethra thank you .   

[MrMatrix]

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=114375.msg1518254#msg1518254
This thread in one form or another has occured many times- the above link is one such thread. These days they dont go poking up the japs eye- even if you tell them you use prossies. These people have seen it all before and their services are excellent. If you use many partners you should get yourself checked out- no excuses.

[monstar]

External Link/Members Only

Get informed dude - Testing for chlamydia and gonorrhoea usually requires only a urine sample or a self-taken swab for a woman. Testing for HIV and syphilis needs a blood sample.

Still worried? Go for a covered sex (obviously) and oral punt. 

[scutty brown]

most places just take a urine sample, nothing get shoved up your end
to be honest, even if they do - it doesn't hurt
yes, I've had it done in the past

[Robinh191]

So far I have only ever had massages with a happy ending. I have never had an STI test because I am scared it's going to be very painful when the umbrella thing is pushed down the Japs eye. The main reason I do not see escorts is because of my worry and STI tests . Would be grateful if someone could put my mind at rest

Slight misconception here - maybe in the bad old days a needle was threaded down the one-eyed snake but thankfully things have moved on and if the swab is done sympathetically which in my experience has been by male nurses, I would describe it a strange rather than a painful sensation. Once had it done by a female nurse and it felt like she was a man-hater and who was out to exact revenge for her kind. Or it could just be my imagination. 

Either way, let me put it like this I caught my thumb in the draw this morning and as I type this it's still causing me more discomfort than any swab test.

[Steely Dan]

Man up.

[vw]

Nothing goes anywhere near your jap eye, the most likely tests include, depending what you confess too

Piss test
Blood test
throat swab
anal swab

[YorkshireGuy]

Not quite true, they still do the umbrella thing but only if you have some symptoms and they can check it under a microscope there and then.

I've had an NSU recently which wasn't an STI just some form of irritation from using shower gel. Visited the GUM clinic anyway and they did this umbrella test and checked it under the microscope. Even with them doing that they still take urine samples as it's not always 100% accurate checking under the microscope they told me.

It's not that bad anyway, I've had it done twice and the first time was uncomfortable where the second I felt nothing. I put the first time down to the woman being too rough though.

[Merlin28]

At my last test she took a swab from my japs eye, didn't hurt a bit 

[sparkus]

My first swab did hurt and I said this the next time.  She said that the first doctor must have done it wrong as there's no way it should hurt and on that occasion it didn't.

On plus side the time after, I was examined by a group of medicine students including one in a hijab with massive eyes, who the male doctor instructed to look under my ball sac for swelling.  Was very hard to not get erect.

[shagmore]

On plus side the time after, I was examined by a group of medicine students including one in a hijab with massive eyes, who the male doctor instructed to look under my ball sac for swelling.  Was very hard to not get erect.

PML, great one

[Charlie144]

Would prefer not to have anything shoved into my urethra thank you .

Its surprisingly pleasurable, get the sounding bars from amazon, sterilisation essential, nice stretch on the urethra, you can go deep too!
 

[scutty brown]

PML, great one

Hugely funny