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External Link/Members Only Met this lady at a London hotel some months ago for a 1 hour meet. I was in the mood for an experienced MILF to take the lead and just work some sensual magic on me while I closed my eyes.
Ah the air of expectation filled my nostrils as I entered the lift, and I positively glided along the corridor of the 3rd floor, my hungry eyes expectantly searching for that magic room number that would, like some cypher, guide me to a new and wonderful experience. Why hadn't I thought of this before???? Why waste time with those silly, frivolous, giggly young Polish ladies all these months?
I knocked, the door opened slowly with the mysterious lady behind it - just her thin fingers visible around the edge of the door ... I walked in discreetly, in one motion, wholeheartedly... turned around to face my lover... and...
BRAAAAAAAAKES! YIKESSSSSSS!
Too late, the door had closed behind the lady's back and in she came. What had I done?????? The horror.....
The smile that greeted me didn't involve all that many teeth, for a start. The air of expectation in my nostrils was replaced by the fetid stench of ciggies and crisps. And the radiant visage of the experienced lady that I had envisaged was replaced by the sort of face that one would averagely expect... in a lady north of 60 who had experienced a lifetime of late nights! My body temperature fell and everything went blurry from there until I got into the shower (why didn't I walk? why oh why?). I remember shaking my head in the shower and promising to treat this just like an expensive massage/lesson in life.
After many minutes loitering in the shower (one damp towel provided) I finally walked out, head hung, resigned to face my fate... money had already been handed over when i entered (the effects of shock).
Tiffany is very skinny - there have obviously been many attempts at surgical enhancement but science in this area is still in its relative infancy and has its limitations. The boobs were rigid and the skin to the north and south of these rapidly became Alpine and craggy. The lips had more crevasses than the South Pole in the springtime - and spoke of the millions of Marlboros and Benson and Hedges she must have consumed by fire since the early 1960s. The lady is thin and lives purely on cereal and crisps, as she told me, and the room was strewn with opened bags/cartons from the final aisle of the local Tesco Metro.
There is little point in describing the service (it would only reinforce the images in my mind) - my butt was clenched as she gave me owo. She put some kind of protective chemical on my dick beforehand and I THANK HER WHOLEHEARTEDLY for that! I just closed my eyes and somehow "kind-of" climaxed (many thanks and acknowledgements to Megan Fox for my mind's use of her face and oiled body).
Job done with time to spare (a first), I excused myself and stood in the shower scrubbing my body, face, hair, ears, eyeballs, nostrils. Dried myself off (hey... damp towel... we meet again). A quick limp handshake goodbye - and out of the door.
This time I didn't use the lift on the way down - I used the stairs - faster!
Awful, Awful, Awful. I don't wish to be rude to anyone, but she advertises as a 45 year old hottie! No, No, No.
As for the fawning AW reviews - they are AW-ful.
Thank goodness I discovered ukpunting today. I had to tell someone! I feel better. The past is gone and tomorrow is another day and every day in every way I feel better and better and better.... [Note to self: REPEAT 20 times daily]
