External Link/Members OnlyI must admit that I wanted to start with a positive review but my experience yesterday has led me to put this up first.
First off I am an experienced Punter starting in 1998 at the tender age of 18 in Brighton, mainly to walk parlors that advertised in the local rag or carded the phone boxes. On a side note I still rather miss the excitement and hit n miss of visiting a walk up being taken to a room and waiting for the girls to walk in. Anyway after that start I spent the best part of a decade punting in London mainly with the for the time excellent Thai girls (until the Romanian crisis started in 2014 and drove them out but again I digress).
Approximately a year and a half ago I moved to the Punting equivalent of a Desert Inverness, I have had the odd punt here mostly poor but the odd OK experience more down to luck than anything. I have on occasion gone over to Aberdeen to punt but recently that has started to dry up again due to the Romanian crisis.
Anyway...Valentina:
Yesterday suffering a serious case of blue balls I decided to see if there was anybody worth visiting, there happened to by a new Brazilian girl Valentina just in town. Pictures looked a bit too professional (hint of photoshop) but she offered a wide range of services and her pictures didn't show up on Tineye. She did have enhanced breasts which is not something I usually go for but considering the local one can't be too choosy and she had a nice face and young curvy body.
I popped her a call which was picked up quickly, a hard to understand Hispanic voice came on the line. Considering understanding the girl on the end of the phone is one of those punting challenges I struck on. She advertised a whole host of pleasing services, I wanted OWO and kissing in particular. Our conversation:
Me: Hello is Valentina available?
Valentina: I am Valentina.
Me: Good, do you do the advertised services?
Valentina: Yes all inclusive.
Me: Including OWO and Kissing?
Valentina: Yes all inclusive, you want to come?
Hmmm, the price all inclusive was 140GBP for an hour which is a bit light considering all the services she was offering so decide to see if there are extras.
Me: So 140GBP includes OWO and kissing?
Valentina: Yes that is all included.
Me: OK I would like to book for 5:30pm
Valentina: OK that is fine you know where I am?
Me: Errr? No please send me the address.
A few minutes later a postcode is sent which is not unusual up here and I made my way to the location with time to spare.
At 5:25 she sends me a text asking "Are you on your way"? I text back "Yes, nearby please send the address".....
No response
I send another text "Please send Street and house number"
No response
I send another text "Anybody home I am waiting"?
No response, getting irritated I phone the number. No response...
At this point I am resigning myself to this being a time waster and start considering other options. When she phones me:
Valentina: Where are you?
Me: Nearby, please send street and house number
Valentina: You in street?
Me: No, what is the house and street number?
Valentina: You not in street?
Geeeez, all this effort I hope the punt is good I think to myself.
Me: No where are you?
Valentina: I am in street xxxxxxxxx
Me: And the number?
Valentina: You phone me in street.
Sigh, I walk to the street, it is now 5:35. I phone back:
Me: I am in the street:
Valentina: Are you in the street
Me: Yes, what number?
Valentina: NoXX, just walk to door don't knock.
Me:?
It is over the road so I walk up to the door and as I approach it she discretely opens it and lets me in.
The venue was a small terrace house and she ushers me into a room by the front door. It is a small but clean bedroom with double bed with a mirror above it, a tv with some Spanish TV on quietly. There was the usual punting paraphernalia around and a dildo to one side.
First impressions of Valentina: definitely the girl in the pictures albeit I think they photo-shopped out some cellulite. She was young, Hispanic, curvy with large but firm not obviously enhanced breasts (compliments to her surgeon then). She had smooth skin and some light makeup with maybe a bit too much lipstick. She was wearing nothing at all on her bottom half except for some white ankle socks, her top half she had a thin Lacey black top that barely covered her ample breasts. She was rather alluring and making all the right initial smiles and small talk so at this point things were looking up.
It was now 5:40, we sorted the money and she asked if I wanted a shower. I replied yes and she gave me a small towel and took me to a small shower room down the hallway. I did a very quick two minute shower and went back to find her texting. She stopped smiled and said she was just off to clean up as well .... hmmm time wasting tactics were kicking in but it might not go bad. She went off for a couple of minutes then returned pulling off the black top to render her totally naked except for the ankle socks....cute.
First she pulled me close gave me a couple of pecks on the lips warning me of her lipstick but pulled away before I could kiss more deeply. She motioned me to lick one of her breasts which I dutifully did for a few seconds before she motioned me onto the bed. Up to this point whilst there had been some minor irritants things had been going OK. Now we were going to see the quality of her technique. She bent over nibbled an ear and kissed one of my nipples, she then gave my balls and the bottom of my shaft a bit of a lick ... so far so good I thought.
Well now the punt went south, rather than offer some massage or body to body all smiles she leaned over and grabbed a condom pulling it out of the package. I make an extremely confused face and said:
Me: No OWO?
Valentina: No
Me: But you advertised it
Valentina: I don't do it
Me: I confirmed on the phone (I have a clean then well showered dick with no blemishes FYI)
Valentina: No
Me: What do I have to pay extra?
Valentina: No I don't offer it.
Me: OK (trying to remain polite) maybe you should change your profile
She popped on the condom and proceed with a reasonably deep but very short blowjob, no more than thirty/forty seconds. She then climbed over me and slid me in. Feeling irritated but maintaining a fixed smile on my face I let her crack on, a few minutes in she offered up a breast again for nibbling. She was clearly using the squeeze technique to get me to cum quick but I have plenty of control. She slid of me and asked if I was OK, smiling knowing full well what was going on I said yes. We switched to doggie, again she was using the squeeze and rocking back technique to get a quick cum out of me. The view was certainly nice in the mirror but I slid out and switched to missionary as I might as well see her pretty albeit bored face. I get to work kissing her on the breasts etc, I gave up trying to kiss her on the lips. She had eventually stopped the squeeze technique but I was getting bored as well so brought myself to climax and pulled out.
I looked at my watch ... 6pm. I lay on the bed as she helped pull the condom off and waited to see what next, remember I was thirty minutes into a 1 hour booking that had started ten minutes late due to her messing about with the location.
Nothing, she checked a text but clearly the punt was over. I got up, she offered a shower that I politely declined, got dressed and made my way out.
I strolled over to a local pub and sank a couple of pints, the best experience that evening.
Conclusion:
A real pity, I can excuse the odd issues around getting to the location even if she made it more of a faff then needed. The total lack of honesty about her services and the rush to get me in and out again spoiled the punt. The irony is if she had been a bit more honest I might of still seen her considering the paucity of punting in the Highlands. The time wasting and rush out the door tactics on the other hand are what put it over the line from neutral to negative. She was friendly and very pleasing to the eye but I could of got the same experience at home with some Brazilian porn on the internets and saved plenty of money.
Oh well punting in Inverness, a purgatory that has to be endured!
