Link:
External Link/Members OnlyLocation: A 10-minute walk from Goodge Street in a run-down top-floor flat. The total opposite of luxury, despite what her name suggests.
When: early July 2026
Cost: £140 for 45 mins. No extras provided, despite a long list on her menu.
Lady: She’s about 5'2", slim, and visibly older than her airbrushed photos, though facially okay. If you want a Brazilian figure, you'll be disappointed by her small, saggy bum. Fake tits are too big for her frame, with noticeable scarring. Virtually no English, completely detached attitude, zero empathy, and no smiles.
Hidden Image/Members OnlyAction: The service was even more disappointing. She stripped off in seconds and told me to lie on the bed (a bad start for my liking). She immediately put a condom on my flaccid penis and started sucking like a vacuum cleaner. “Ouch!” I exclaimed. It was a painful blowjob (definitely a terrible start) during which I had to rely on my own dirty memories just to get a decent erection.
A few minutes later, she squirted tons of lube over both my semi-erect cock and her pussy. She kept directing everything, sticking strictly to her own script, and told me to flip into missionary. No kissing (despite being advertised), no eye contact (she kept looking away), fake moans, and a single phrase repeated on loop: “Come baby, come now!” — a clear hint to hurry up and finish.
Incredibly frustrating. I tried my best because I wanted to salvage a semi-decent experience out of a bad session, but after the nth “Come baby, come now!”, I felt the sudden urge to just stop this squalid act.
Finally, I said, “I’m sorry, I don't feel comfortable.” I took a quick shower and politely left at the 20-minute mark.
Verdict: Bad session. I won't be back. I wouldn't recommend this provider unless you're just looking for a 15-minute handjob.
