I was stuck on a hospital ward a couple of years ago, just my luck all the nurses were blokes from darkest Africa!
Owing to lack of mobility i had to use a bedside commode and had to ask matey to wipe my arse which he did with a very cheery look with bloody great long yellow gloves!..
What was really wierd was just the other side of the curtain was a young bloke who had his very attractive girlfriend turn up you could make a out a rythmic thumping noise right next to where i was heaving and straining just a curtain away!..