Loren Babe Maidstone
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External Link/Members Only TLDR: The pendulum swung massively in my mind between positive and negative, ultimately due to a lot of the issues below and the fact I wouldn't return it really has to be a negative. Massive fucking about with logistics getting to see her, no real effort in presentation or performance, and a profile that states an age two decades incorrect. She's lovely personality wise and I was going to put a neutral/positive due to VFM, but having written this review, it clearly reads as negative...
Price(s): £100 for the hour with owo and cim included. Kissing apparently included but not possible. Extra £30 wasted on parking and hushed phone number to actually get to the meet (see below).
Logistics: JESUS CHRIST THIS WAS DIFFICULT TO ARRANGE.
Firstly, her replies to messages are very late, and all she does is message the location copy and paste style. Trying to confirm price and services was like pulling teeth. I finally confirmed a time to meet at 5pm and asked if price was correct and owo/cim included, and she ghosted me. So then I was left with a dilemma, do I turn up at 5 as agreed or not. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and found parking nearby. She had either blocked me or turned phone off.
Round two: The next day I decided to buy a hushed phone number and see if she would answer that, which she did immediately. She asked if I was outside, so I assumed she confused me with a booking about to arrive. I asked about meeting later that day at 6pm and she said ok call me at the time. So now I'm worried that she just does first come first served bullshit, so I asked her to text me address and confirm time, which she eventually did.
I arrived very early and sent a couple of texts to make sure she knew I was arriving soon. She didnt care just repeating that I should call when on the street. The street is a commercial zone in Maidstone with one giant tower block of flats, so it was no fucking surprise where she was going to be...
On the street I called as requested, but being a very busy main road in Maidstone, I couldn't hear a fucking word she was saying. I asked her to speak up but she wouldn't. I asked her to text me the details to be sure. After messaging me the building number (why she didnt use the fucking name of the building which is written in huge letters on the side, is beyond comprehension
) and then did NOT explain that the main door is locked, but the side door was open. So I try calling again and am hanging around the front of the building to see if she will buzz me in, and she just repeats the number of the building
Having found the side door after looking around like a suspicious lurker in front of the CCTV (not great), I call asking for the room number. Despite being inside and away from the noisy road, I could not understand the number she was saying for the room number. So I head to the floor and ask her to text me it to be sure as I didn’t wanna be knocking on random doors. She then stops replying. I walked down the corridor and could literally hear her phone pinging every time i messaged, so guided myself in SONAR style. I knocked on the door and she immediately opened it with phone in hand
Seriously love, the Crystal Maze would be easier to navigate than your fucking useless directions.
Location: Small 2 bedroom flat that she shares with Amanda Sweet
External Link/Members OnlyBathroom looked nice but floor was soaking wet and shower head holder was broken. Walls were paper thin, I could hear Amanda breathing in next room. A punter arrived to see her during my time and I could hear every word of the conversation which ended in him walking.
Looks: Profile states 29, if she's a day younger that 49 I'll eat my hat. Trim and toned with saggy tits, but no make-up whatsoever so she looked super haggered. I did discuss with her in the half-time break how her pictures were not representative, and she went on a tirade about Hungarian make up artists being the best and blablabla. She wouldnt shut up about it.
Can't emphasise enough how the no-make-up or effort in appearance really detracted from the experience. She hadn't made any sort of effort, and it soured the experience.
Attitude & Service: She seems pleasant enough and eager to please, but she really was just going through the motions. Really stupid fake moaning (I asked her multiple times to stop it as she was putting me off) and her BJ technique was super weird.
For BJ she kind of swirls your bellend around the tongue in her mouth like stirring a cup of tea. This may sound nice but it wasnt and didnt do much for me, especially as she drooled all over me constantly and on multiple occasions spat out on my belly what saliva she had in her mouth. I think she's developed this technique as it's 'minimum effort for maximum result' in her eyes.
As another review stated, straight after cim (before i'd finish cumming in fact) she spat everything out on the floor and then did the mouthwash thing. Where she spat splattered my trousers which were on the floor next to them. Nice one Loren
A pet-hate of mine is when they say they do cim but the nanosecond you cum they take your cock out of their mouth and start wanking it like a shake-weight. Fucking atrocious and ruined my nut.
Kissing was agreed but she violently turned her head away any time I got close.
For round two i just bent her over doggy and told her to shut up with the comically bad sounding fake moaning, and tried to imagine the milf in the pics of the profile.
Conclusion: I came away happy having nutted twice inside her for a decent price. On reflection, the hassle of getting there and the let-down of the girl's appearance and service has soured the memory. If I had done the review that night it would have been a positive maybe, but writing this all out now, you'd laugh at me if I put this down as anything other than negative.
Would I return? No, even the VFM argument doesn't hold true on this one, would prefer a pump&dump with a hot Romanian rather than go through all that again...
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