External Link/Members OnlyWhen: Today, 28th May 2025. About 6:40pm
After my B&S experience earlier in the day (see earlier negative review) I went to my trusty back-up option of the Brazilian brothel on Haydon's Road, knowing I'd get a choice of ladies on arrival and could try and fuck my frustration away. The traffic from Sutton was a bitch, so it took me a while to get there and I got to Haydon's Road about twenty past six, so I decided to drive past it and circle back for 6:30 so I could take advantage of the free parking that kicks-in then. I parked on Haydon's Road at 6:30 on the dot, walked to the William Hill to put a bet on and use their toilet to empty my bladder, then walked to the house and rang the bell. After the usual couple of minutes wait whilst they gather in the hallway, the door was opened. For the first time ever at this establishment, the door was answered by a male minder, with a couple of the women stood behind him. I walked in and neither of the women I immediately laid eyes on appealed to me (a blonde with a bit of a weird square jaw and a darker bigger girl with quite a manly face). Thankfully, two more women then appeared coming down the stairs and both were far more attractive (slim busty brunettes). I selected one and she lead me up to the front first floor bedroom. First impressions were positive, with a decent body in Victoria's Secret underwear and a glimmer of a smile as I entered the room. I opted for 30 minutes at £60, although I knew I'd be quick as I was just wanting to bust a nut and get home. My presumption was that by paying £60 I'd get a nicer less mechanical service - but sadly that wasn't the case.
After handing over the money, she placed it inside a cupboard whilst I undressed. I asked for her name and she replied "Bruna", which I recognised as one of the names I'd seen on the ads when I'd looked earlier in the day. That was as far as any conversation went however, as soon as the money had been exchanged her smile disappeared and her body language immediately became very negative. I got onto the bed and she removed her knickers but not her bra. She asked me to move to the centre of the bed whilst she put some music on her phone. The music she selected was dreadful...far too loud and not conducive to a sexy mood at all. She then took out a condom and sat on the bed next to me, with her back to my face and started trying to force my flacid dick straight into the condom. Somehow she managed to roll it on, despite it being akin to getting toothpaste back into the tube, and started a very poor blowjob. Straight away, I could tell this was going to be dreadful and could see she was going to go for a minimal effort approach. The sort of pro who relies on her looks to get selected then does the bare minimum to get through the punt. I tried stroking her arse to get myself in the mood, then ran my hand over her bra in the hope she'd take the hint and remove it. Nothing got a reaction from her, she just continued with a lazy blowjob with her back to me. Eventually, I got a semi-on, but rather than continue and get me hard, she took this as her cue to jump to her feet and look at me for an indication of what position I wanted. I gave her a "you must be shitting me" look and looked down at my already wilting semi-on, and pointed out the obvious. She didn't seem to care, and lay on the bed indicating she wanted to start with missionary. I wanked myself a bit harder and tried to force my dick in (more toothpaste into the tube stuff) but couldn't do it. So, again, I pointed out to her that I wasn't even hard yet. She muttered to herself and sat up, indicating to me to lie back down. This time, she removed her bra and revealed a lovely big pair of breasts that looked and hung naturally. That put a bit of lead in my pencil, and as she started another unenthusiastic blow job (again with her back to me) I managed to get into a bit more by stroking the one boob I could get to with her position. It felt natural and would be a real asset to her if she positioned herself in a way that actually allowed you to see or touch them properly.
After a few more minutes of BJ, I was sufficiently hard to try again, so she rolled back onto her back for missionary. At this point, I wasn't even bothered asking for a position I'd enjoy more, as I could see that irrespective of what I did or tried, I wasn't going to get anything back from her. So, into missionary I went and pumped away, not even looking at her as I was already sick of her unemotional disinterested face (I'd also noticed that up close, she had a thick layer of foundation on that I had been applied so thickly that it was noticeable too). I wish I could dress this up somehow, but that's really all there was to it. Once into missionary, I just fucked away until I came, more in an act of wanting to get it over with than anything else. During this whole encounter, her awful music never seemed to change and appeared to just be one long shouty song, constantly interrupted by the pinging sound of incoming texts.
Once I was done, it was off with the condom and I got dressed as quickly as I could whilst she just stood there in silence watching me. She noticed me looking around trying to figure out where to dispose the used condom and put her hand out to take it from me. Once I handed it over, I noticed she looked inside it to see if I'd actually cum and seemed surprised to see that I had (which tells you everything you need to know about what kind of punt this was). She then shouted something to indicate I was done, to which the male minder guy shouted something in return from downstairs. I walked myself back downstairs whilst she stayed in the room, then let myself out of the front door and hot footed it back to my car.
Overall, my first completely negative experience at this place. I made the mistake of selecting the prettiest girl in the line up but ignored the fact that her body language from the off was not positive. There was another girl in the line-up (the other one on the stairs) who made more effort to smile at me and clearly wanted to be selected (looking over the ads on vivastreet again, I think this was the one called "Kai") so I really should have gone with her. I will come back to this place, maybe even this week, but I certainly would never choose Bruna again. I'll also go with the approach that if the immediate vibes on getting into the bedroom aren't positive, then I'll just go for the £40 quick pump and dump rather than paying more in the hope that it leads to a more pleasant service.
This is the 'Kai' girl I think the second girl was (she's named as Kai in the ad, but in the url it has the name Laura!)
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