The following massage was booked in January and I'm only just now getting around to leaving my review. I decided to book as I had read some positive reviews from this forum and at the time I was particularly interested in trialling different Eastern European ran establishments. This one looked particularly interesting as it was also located in a very busy area. I decided on a 2hr massage as I wanted something that was going to make the journey worth it.
Booking over the phone was a simple and pleasant experience, with a confirmation and a professional reminder request given on the day.
The venue is as far from discreet and secluded as could possibly be, with the shop front very much visible all the way through from the outside with very heavy pedestrian and vehicle traffic.
After entering I was greeted by what I assume is the manager/madame, who I then realised was the one I had spoken to over the phone. She gave me a warm greeting after confirming the 2hr massage time slot I had booked and requested the agreed upon £60.00 upfront, at this point I had high hopes and was looking forward to what was to come. This was until she mentioned that the massage would actually be split into two portions with one massage with one masseuse taking place for the first hour and then I would be led to another room with another masseuse for the second.
This had me a little concerned and on the surface I wasn't exactly too happy with this, but at this price point I decided not to complain.
After waiting for about five minutes I was then greeted by the first masseuse, I would describe her as petite and curved definitely nothing special or particularly made up about her indicating anything sensual was to come, but not hugely off-putting.
She led me past a series of treatment rooms on the top floor and down a very creepy and odd looking basement stairs that appeared to be used by staff as a kind of backroom staffroom area containing two massage rooms discreetly hidden with a open shower nearby halfway hidden by a shower curtain. On the way down she shouted something in what I assume is Romanian indicating to another hidden staff member which I believe was her indicating that a treatment was about to begin.
After being offered a shower I was left to get undressed in one of the rooms and laid face down with a towel over myself, no underwear underneath to make it clear from the get go what I expected.
The massage then proceeded, which was.. bad.. to put it bluntly, I personally believe she either had no training or knowing what I was after just decided she would just put the bare minimum into it as possible. She did use oil.. Which was nice, but being real.. I think oil is really part of very basic massage expectations. The headrest at the top was also extremely uncomfortable, causing pain in the temple of my head which absolutely did not help the situation, (something that I've found many massage providers that use professional massage beds seem to have a problem with). Her demeanour while not unfriendly was also not particularly warm and definitely not sensual. 80% of this first hour consisted with me on my front and then the remaining time on my back.
No cc swipes, no hint of anything more, no teasing no sensuality. This did not particularly concern me however as part way through I had the sudden realisation that the second therapist would be the one to that would be providing the sensuality, or at least I hoped....!
After the first hour I was then escorted out the room, through the creepy staff room covered in oil with a towel wrapped around my naked body to the second therapist.
I was pleasantly surprised when I then laid eyes upon this second therapist. A much slender more seductive figure, with a look that she was ready to get her hands dirty. I then began again laying face down, with the towel immediately removed. Unfortunately, her demeanour, service and friendliness did not match her figure. While she started off relatively okay, her glumness and and general attitude began to show itself, while her massage skills while a little more seductive than the previous therapist remained bad to very bad in terms of skill level.
At this point I was beginning to lose faith that this was going to be anything other than a neutral or negative rating.
About a third of the way through she then turned me over and asked me if I wanted my
whole body massaged. After confirming discreetly I wasn't here for innocent business, she then offered me three different options hand relief, hand relief with top off or both with the addition of being allowed to touch and grope.
I pretty much just wanted to get the whole thing over with so decided upon the first option at £40.00. She then made me pay via card in the room before the rest could begin. (Again.. Etiquette can go a long way... This type of necessitating payment midway through a massage I am not a fan of).
She seemed surprised and offended I didn't want anything more but reluctantly agreed. I was then given what I would describe as a rather disappointing and prolonged basic rub and tug during which due to poor skill and lack of sensual attitude I struggled to reach the end of. Her frequent eye rolls and sighing also did not help the situation and in return I pointed out that it was her job to make it happen, not me...!!!
Eventually.. I did finish by ejaculating all over her hands and the floor with a help of a reluctant finger up the bum, with the insistence however from her that I must be "gay" for wanting so...!! Okay then, I'll take it, sure thing!
I was then offered a second shower, and then promptly left out the front before giving the manager a reluctant "thank you", she seemed very grateful for the business and offered me a warm handshake! Just a shame she isn't so good on quality control of her staff!
Overall pretty poor and definitely won't be returning, even for the reasonable price.
This experience left me again with the impression that massage shops, even EE one's just can't provide a good to high level sensual massage experience and unfortunately in my short search I've yet to be proven wrong.
(As a side note, hopefully.. some of you might be able to point me in a different/right direction for something a little better quality!
