External Link/Members Only1 hour £130 + £10 DFK + £10 OWO (£150 total)
Pointless Ramblings of a Silly Old Bastard (Skip this Bit)Whilst waiting to be let in to Kimmie's building I listen to the rain thrumming onto my umbrella and watch the sparkling raindrops fall from its pointed spines. As I gaze across the road to the building opposite, a hazy vision seeps from some dark forgotten corner of my mind:
The smart apartment block dissolves into a row of shops; now long since demolished and redeveloped. On the corner stands a small newsagents. While I watch, a skinny teenager cycles up and chains his bike to a lamppost. With his heart thumping and his pulse thundering in his ears he quickly slips between the multicoloured ribbons of the fly-curtain and steps inside. He strides purposely to the magazine rack from which he lifts the latest copy of Knave and takes it to the till. The middle-aged (yet surprisingly MILFy) woman behind the counter looks up and smiles. She looks down at the magazine, frowns and whips it from his fingers.
"How old are you?" she snaps.
"Ssssssssss..." (it sounds like gas escaping) "s-s-sixteen." He stutters.
"You're too young!" she barks, and shoves the mag behind the counter.
The boy turns on his heel and walks quickly out of the door. As he bends down, the red hot flush of shame on his cheeks, trying to unchain his bicycle with shaky hands, I wonder that if he looked up across the street could he see forty years into the future? Would he see the as yet unbuilt apartment block across the road? Would he see the grizzled old cunt with an umbrella watching him? In his wildest dreams could he imagine that forty years later he'll be hanging out the back of a young Thai goddess, far more beautiful than the models in the tawdry wankmag that he'd just been denied?
My phone buzzes in my pocket. It's Kimmie with the apartment number. I'm in!
CommsComms (all via SMS) were a game of two halves - Initial texts the day before were timely and responsive. I got the impression that these were from a central receptionist. On the day I was running a little late due to traffic so tried to call 5 minutes before my appointment. My call wasn't answered, but I received an SMS back immediately telling me to text instead. This was awkward, as I had to find a place to pull over so that I could reply. (Don't text and drive kids!) Everything was OK though, and I was told to text again when I was outside. This is where the problems began: I was stood outside the building and was greeted with radio silence. I tried calling, I tried texting. Nada. After 10 minutes of standing about looking conspicuous, I gave up and decided to go for a R&T at the rundown Chinese place on Pound Lane instead. Two minutes later, I get a very apologetic text asking if I was still there. I walk back, get the flat number and it's game on. I get the feeling that there's some kind of telephony changeover going on - the language in the final texts, presumably from Kimmie herself, was different to the previous ones. There was no one else in the flat, so I guess that somehow the number was transferred over to Kimmie at the last moment (is this possible?) and there was a delay in this process which led to me standing outside for 10 minutes looking like a proper berk. Not ideal, but we got there in the end.
LocationLuxury apartment block on East Street. I ended up parking at Sainsburys on Kiln Lane (3 hours free) about 5 minutes walk away. Inside, it's reet posh, if a bit sparse and un-lived-in. Exceptionally nice designer bathroom and clean towels. Standard buzzer entry. There were a few residents milling about, but nobody appeared to give a fuck about who I was, or even acknowledged that I was there.
KimmieIf you like Kimmie's pictures, then you'll love her in the flesh. IMO absofuckinglutely stunning, 10/10. She's very petite, and somehow slim and curvy at the same time. Her tits are amazing - I think that they're all hers though they're suspiciously perky and gravity-defying. Nice and soft though, with lovely nipples. When she opened the door she was wearing this white frilly cotton thing, like someone had sewn some doilies together, or taken some scissors to an old antimacassar. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her English is very limited, but she's very smiley and friendly.
The BusinessWe started with a medium pressure massage, which was OK - I've had worse. On the flip we indulged in some nice OWO (worth the extra tenner!) and some delicious 69. Throughout the whole hour I only got maybe 15 seconds of LFK, so the extra £10 for DFK was a complete waste of money. The highlight was some squatastic feet-flat-on-the bed CG where I thought that I'd died and gone to heaven. The grand finale was a most excellent bout of doggy where I finished in the bag. During doggy, I marvelled at how an ugly old scrote like me could be going at it hammer and tongs with such a gorgeous young Thai woman. Fucking great! I turn to the window and salute my sixteen year old self who is looking up from the pavement below.
