Imagine the party in my pants on discovering that a new joint had opened in my stomping ground.
Promptly attended.
External Link/Members OnlyLocation & VenueNew shop, opened less than a month. Still putting on the final touches and paint and decor.
Among a row of shops on City Rd, very busy thoroughfare but mostly traffic rather than people walking by.
There are rooms upstairs and down, was led to one downstairs which was spacious, clean. Sink & shower.
£35 for 30.
Masseuse40s, unattractive, businesslike - no chat or banter.
MassageNo towel/sheet to cover myself, so onto the table naked face down arse on display. Room is a bit chilly.
Masseuse enters, starts massage without any enquiry into preference on pressure or style. No stretching or dry pressure to warm up, just straight into spreading oil around and rubbing it in with modest pressure. Not really a massage, more of a rub.
For me, the massage is as important as the extras (otherwise, what's the door fee for?), so already getting the disappointing vibes and glad I opted for 30 not 60.
20 minutes in, asked 'Darling, you want body to body'. Opted for HJ only, chanced my arm at £20 to which she laughed hysterically and agreed £30. Bit of tickling and teasing deez nuts face down, then flipped for a pretty mediocre yank.
Meh.
Likely more on offer but wasn't interested.
Showered and left.
ConclusionAverage rub & tug joint with no real technique to the massage.
Neutral from me.
IN B4 'But that's a negative bro'My system:
- Negative - something actively wrong, e.g. B&S, unhygienic place/masseuse etc
- Neutral - poor massage and/or extras, no reason to seek this place out specifically
- Positive - good venue good to great massage, good to great extras
