External Link/Members OnlyMeet happened about a week ago. Arranged a half hour massage for 12pm. Replied via text relatively quickly with confirmation and a postcode.
Turned up at the address at 11.55 and text her to confirm I was in the area and to get the house number. Got a reply of "Give me 5 minutes". Fair enough, I'm 5 minutes early. 12.05 no text back. Suddenly phone rings and it's her, she's in a taxi on the way back from town. Can I wait... it's pissing it down and I'm on foot but fuck it....I'm there so may aswell wait another 5 minutes. Finally get the house number and it's a piece of shit terrace house, in a row of shit terraced houses.
Knock and she answers. Probably about 5 foot 6, gym toned body but strangely masculine face. No doubt she's a woman , but maybe some performance enhancing going on in the gym. She's flustered and a bit short with me.
Up to the room and asked what type of massage I want. Asked for a more sensual massage as I'd read on here her massage skills were pure shite so didn't see the point of asking for any kind of legit techniques. £40 handed over, stripped off (got told off for putting my clothes on the floor, didn't see she had hooks on the back of the door) and hopped onto the legit massage bed - what a waste of money that thing is
Lay down and what followed was a near drowning with oil. She must have dumped half a fucking bottle on my back and then proceeded to rub lightly at 100 MPH around my back with what felt like one finger tip. No time, no care, literally felt like a retard finger painting on my back. Every 90 seconds she'd empty another 15 squirts of oil onto my back, felt like a seagull caught in a SHELL oil stick. Few cheeky little ball strokes but no CC swipes and no real attention to the arse at all. Just gallons of rubbing oil, GALLONS.
Turned over for the final act, more oil. Cock massage was fairly decent, good pace and she atkeast seemed vaguely into it. Asked if I could touch her, was allowed access and arse felt nice to grab. Tried the tits but felt like she had the mother of all sports bras on so felt fuck all through the almost medieval level chest armour. Jizzed, got offered a shower (which I took due to being greased up like a baking tin) and took an age to trying to wash off all the oil. Dressed, fist bump on the way out and off I went into the rain.
Hand job was decent (if efficient) but genuinely the WORST massage I've ever had. If I was desperate and had to go back I'd just pay the £40 and forego the massage and go straight for the handy.
She's a bit of a weird one, quite cocky but not in a good way. Didn't feel welcome or relaxed at all and surely that's the whole point.
Not for me, and I'd suggest not for you either.
