To be honest this may not count for a review as the VS link has since been deleted and for the life of me I can’t locate it. All I have is a mobile phone number which comes up with nothing on a google search.
Cost: £120 60 mins
Girl: Young approx early 20s. Latino of some description brunette. Very low grasp of English. She called herself Sara. Very short approx 5ft. Enormous natural chebs. Body sculpture of Blunder Woman. Waddled to my hotel room.
Texted her from my hotel. Immediate response saying she could visit. Asked me to video call her which I did. I can’t only assume she had a filter on her phone because what I saw versus what turned up was very very different.
Arrived at the hotel about 10 mins after and phoned me “Baby come. I here”. So off I trundled to find her and my heart (and nutsack) shrank when I saw her.
I should have just turned around and ran but I didn’t want to cause a scene.
We got to the room and immediately I noticed her eyes darting all round the room checking everything out. Instantly my alert was up. She gave me her bank details to which I transferred her the cash from a preloaded card. I offered her a shower. She stayed in there for ages. When she came out I literally couldn’t believe how massive she was. Her clothes had been holding everything in and now everything was released it was quite the transformation - for the worse. In the foyer she was a sold 4/10 and post shower sank to a generous 1/10.
Then things went south. She explained her water was out at home so she hadn’t washed for days. “Lovely. What a treat I’m in for”. Then her phone started buzzing with texts so she obviously took the considerable time to answer each one with great focus. Slowly. Each and every one of them. I asked her to stop but to no avail.
Then she finally turned her attention to me and my flaccid shrunken depressed shlong.
With a mild degree of effort she raised a little life and then she let out a massive fart. “Hmm. I think she just farted” I thought to myself. Surely not. I just have misheard. “Need poop” she shouts and walks off to the bathroom. Sits on the karzy (obviously leaving the door ajar for my pure entertainment) and proceeds to have a loud strained shit. In between her straining I was delighted to hear the rather enormous plopping as each turd bombed in to the bottom of the pan.
She finishes. And, credit where due, she takes the time to shower again at least. When she returns to the bedroom she realises the cold frozen look of pure shock on my face and says “what?!”
So I slowly hopped off the bed, grabbed her clothes and asked her to leave.
“Why?” “Well. I’m not quite in the mood anymore after having just listened to you taking a shit. Please kindly leave”.
This is where things took a rather sinister turn. She started to dress again but extremely slowly like she was waiting for something or someone. She phoned a guy on her phone which I noted was under “my love” in her contacts and spoke some foreign language to him. So I asked her to hurry please and leave. She kept telling me to chill and I was fairly uncomfortable. Luckily I ushered her out and once I realised I was safe and sound I started pissing myself laughing.
So - in short - any fat dumpy brunette calling herself Sara. Avoid like the plague unless you like listening to young girls taking a dump.
Apologies for not having a link.
