Long post alert. If you have issues with that, please skip.
Punters often attempt to avoid trouble by using precautions such as a burner phone, a secondary WhatsApp account, cash transactions, avoiding deposits, and not revealing their real names. However, scammers in this intricate digital world always seem to be one step ahead.
Around ten months ago, I met someone on Seeking. This person appeared eloquent, articulate, and well-educated. After some time chatting, she suggested continuing our conversation on the phone and provided her number if I was interested. Everything seemed genuine, so I agreed to call her. She mentioned having low balance but proposed chatting on WhatsApp, which was connected to her broadband.
Although I had reservations, everything still seemed authentic, and I felt like I had nothing to lose. Once we switched to WhatsApp, she revealed that she was a Ukrainian refugee in the UK, and expressed her struggles with the meager financial support she received from the council. I anticipated a request for money, but surprisingly, she didn't make one.
To prove her authenticity, she suggested sending me a photo. She asked me to provide a word, any word, which she would write on a piece of paper and hold in the photo. Amused by the idea, I offered a random word, and she captured it in the picture.
While I believed her, I was not comfortable sending money to someone I had just met online. However, she surprised me by saying she didn't require much—just £5 would suffice. Considering it a small amount, I was willing to agree until she made another proposition. She offered to send me a teasing picture of herself in exchange for £1.
Thinking that I could receive something in return for my donation, I agreed. She asked if I had any specific dress preferences, but I declined. She sent me a picture that wasn't explicit but rather teasing. To honor our agreement, I asked her how she preferred to receive payment. She suggested PayPal, which was convenient for me since I could use my credit card instead of a debit card for bank transfers.
At this point, I received a phone call from a friend that lasted about 15 minutes, which distracted me. Since I hadn't sent any messages during that time, she made another offer. She claimed she could send me a video doing something I desired, but in return, I would need to pay £6—£1 for the picture and £5 for the video.
I took the offer, or perhaps I should say I took the bait.
I suggested that she take a video of herself fingering herself, and she seemed enthusiastic with the idea. However, she insisted on receiving the £6 upfront. She argued that she had been nothing but genuine throughout our conversation, provided a photo as proof of her identity, and that she didn't want pity money due to her immigrant status. Hence, she offered the picture and video for a measly sum. I found myself dumbfounded and, considering the low amount involved, agreed to pay her in advance. She shared her email address, and I transferred £10 via PayPal, trying to be generous.
She confirmed receiving the money, and then... silence. Just when I thought about the lengths people go to scam others out of £6, she messaged me, claiming she was waiting for her brother to leave the room to shoot the video. At this point, I was completely convinced of her authenticity. She sent me two more messages with the same excuse. It was getting late and I was extremely tired from a long day. I informed her that I was going to sleep and that I would watch the video the next day. In my mind, I thought I might have lost the £10 but I was fine with it.
The next morning, I woke up to approximately 20 messages on WhatsApp. I opened them and they were all from the same person.
She had discovered my entire history and posted screenshots containing many of my personal details. She didn't have my home address or knowledge about my family, but she had located photography account, Facebook profile and most concerningly, my LinkedIn profile. She demanded £5000 from me, threatening to publicly share the WhatsApp exchanges, including the photos and my request for a video, on all social media platforms, including LinkedIn. She also threatened to link my relevant profiles, claiming that I had digitally exploited a war immigrant sexually. Considering the public sympathy towards Ukrainians at that time, I realized the potential damage her threats could inflict on my life, especially my family and professional career. Given my senior position in a niche industry, negative word-of-mouth could ruin my career.
My first instinct was to block her number. Unfortunately, her profile on Seeking had vanished, preventing me from filing a complaint. I decided to pause my Seeking profile to give myself a break. However, she continued to WhatsApp, SMS and call me from different numbers, increasing her demands with each new contact. I remained steadfast and continued blocking her. Learning from my son and dog, I knew that persistence was key, so kept blocking her. I stopped reading her messages to avoid falling into her threats and did not engage in any conversation with her at all.
After the fourth day, everything quieted down, and she hasn't resurfaced since. However, I must admit that I was very close to confiding in my then-wife and seeking legal advice.
So, what went wrong? There were a couple of factors:
1. Due to my laziness and reluctance to charge and use the burner phone tucked away in the wheel well of my car, I used my personal WhatsApp account. My first name was visible to everyone, along with my personal mobile number.
2. My PayPal account was registered with my personal email address.
I don't believe she could have delved so deeply into my data with just my first name and phone number. I attempted to search online but found no relevant information. However, my email address opened a Pandora's box that aligned with the screenshots she sent me.
Since then, I have added an additional burner email address to my PayPal account, hoping it will provide an added layer of security. I have also resolved never to use tiredness as an excuse to forgo using a burner phone.
Sorry for the long post. Had to be detailed to share the factual events. Hope this helps someone.
