XO Lana Ebony - Wandsworth - January 2023 (no show)

[Munter84]

External Link/Members Only

Meet DID NOT happen January 2023.

Preamble
Have been sitting on this review for a couple of months now, basically because I wanted to give the SP a fair chance to make up for an abandoned booking due to fudged comms. At any rate I see her AW page is now down so that ship may have sailed, but I'm dropping a short non-review anyway for if/when she resurfaces. Googling her phone number brings up a website hit suggesting she's now active in Bedfordshire.

Comms
I initially contacted this SP for a massage on the back of a crazyoz ad:
External Link/Members Only

Lana seemed very confused initially as she had no recollection of setting up this advert! She informed me that she now operates solely through AW, and lo and behold, I had actually shortlisted her already as a FS provider having never made the connection. How auspicious, eh? I happily upgraded the massage to an escort meet and booked a date.

This is basically where the story starts and ends. Lana is very insistent on receiving frequent confirmations that the meet is still going ahead - the day before, the morning of the meet, and then another text an hour before. I dutifully texted at each of these milestones. However, arriving 15 minutes early at her place and asking if she was ready, she messaged back that she hadn't received my last message, assumed the meeting was off and had gone out A bit more back and forth followed, wherein I offered to hang around a little longer if she could make it back, and her responding with admittedly quite apologetic updates, albeit with her estimated time of arrival being pushed back each time. We spoke on the phone briefly, and when it became apparent she wouldn't make it in time for me to make my next appointment after, I called it quits. So, having schlepped halfway across London in the harsh January night, I proceeded to schlep back with blue balls.

The Venue
New build estate of high rise apartments in Wandsworth. Can't speak for the interior!

The Lady
Sounded polite and cogent on the phone. Didn't meet.

The Action
None.

Damage
Was expecting FBSM for £100/hr, then I believe it would have been £150/hr for sex.

Verdict
Negative. Would have been a generous low neutral giving full benefit of the doubt, however from other reviews I see Lana has form for this. I haven't ruled out meeting her if she resurfaces, but initial impressions are poor. Don't get your hopes up and have a nearby Plan B would be my advice.

[Atrueyorkie]

Damn, apologies I could have sworn I reviewed this one or put in a comment on the Ebony H/E thread. Time waster.

Can’t remember the exact date but it was moons ago, established a meet and upon arrival ghosted. I remember this one distinctly as one I was about to commence a punt with a thick girl when she (Lana) finally responded to my initial text.

Annoyed was an understatement. Pissed 

Then the following day I got a text with the worst excuse I’ve seen that it just made me laugh. On the level of the dog ate my homework. I looked at the text and was like it’s not even worth responding to. A retard wouldn’t even believe that excuse pulled out her ass.

I should have written an official review for this one, soz mate

Slow replies, timewaster and not a good SP in general.

I’m pretty sure she works with or is a stable mate of Montana:

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Wish we had a prolific time waster thread, she’d definitely be top 3

[Munter84]

Damn, apologies I could have sworn I reviewed this one or put in a comment on the Ebony H/E thread. Time waster.

Don't worry pal, you did! Igor's review in 2021. All valuable intel.

A lack of due diligence on my part... and/or being over optimistic that she wouldn't give me the same timewasting treatment.