Already well-documented here, and, since what appears to be her sudden, violent departure due to severe 'musical differences' with one of the other masseuses, this review of San Ling's Alice may be too late to be useful to other punters, but I daresay that unless she's been assiduously saving her earnings, she'll doubtless reappear at another, similar establishment before too long.
T: 020 7722 9808
Venue:
Chinese style Health Centre on the usually traffic-choked Finchley Road, a short, few minutes walk in-between either Swiss Cottage or Finchley Road Underground Stations. A nondescript café is next door, with only a bedraggled, probably plastic climbing plant trellis, separating you, the slightly self-conscious punter from the bored gaze of the two or three bar-fly habituents who park themselves outside and look on all passers-by, in all but the most inclement weather. On the other side is another massage venue, managed by Thais, I believe, but although it is similar in appearance, apparently no extras are to be had there.
The entrance area here looks like a genuine enough purveyor of crushed rhino-horn and panda tails, with lots of small wooden boxes arrayed on the walls and glass counter cabinets. More often than not though, no one will be present at the street level, and it may be many long moments before you hear a semi-muffled 'harro' greeting you from the stairs leading down to your left.
Walking downstairs, three or so rooms off to your right are the arenas of action: each about 15ft x 10ft, with a narrow type purpose-built massage bed, and counter with working detritus atop. Nb: the sinks in those rooms appear not to work. There is a separate shower & toilet area too - both appallingly grimy and seedy. To access the shower, we must walk past a dustbin stacked up high and overflowing with oil and semen-filled massage paper rolls. Cracked dark green and mouldy tiles await you. It's possible to emerge from that place feeling dirtier than you first went in.
The ladies who aren't already engaged with customers seem to hang about in one of two other common rooms. One of which looks like it is piled up with spare chairs, cushions and mattresses. The overall effect of the venue is cramped, repulsive and depressing, and I have no idea how the girls put up with it. Nonetheless, you are here for a happy-ending, and having come this far, you're probably feeling overcommitted right now.
You may be asked to wait a moment in a treatment room until your chosen dame is free. She will ask you how long you want to stay, and depending on your answer, she will ask you if you want to pay by cash or card. From memory, the venue's fee is 1hr = £45; 30 mins costs £35. She will take our payment, and, as she closes the door behind her, you may notice that there's a long, narrow opening at the top of the wall; and the realisation strikes you that whatever happens in your room will be audible throughout the basement.
The Masseuse
In this case, Alice is in her early-to mid-forties, depending on how good your assessment of Asian females' observable aging is. She's wearing a light sort of summer dress, in black, showing she has quite a slender physique; I'd guess she's 5'2 and a size 10. In fact, the dress conceals a little tummy, which is what, in my view, reliably places her towards her mid 40s, but it is not excessive nor off-putting, it's just not optimal. She scores a high 4/low 5 facially- in that she's attractive enough, without being incontestably pretty. She is however pleasant and easily smiles.
Massage
Here, I'd love to try and do a Tantraman, and do the marvellously seedy experience some justice, but lack of both time and talent won't currently permit me. It'll have to suffice to say that Alice is/was actually among the more diligent of the regular masseuses at this establishment. She's more than capable of giving a strongly administered sports-type massage, with what feels like reasonably professional and symmetrical strokes. She will be chatty if you encourage this, or will ply on quietly if you do not reciprocate. That said, her Engrish really is about that level - adequate for small talk, but not much more. This will continue for about 35-40 minutes until the point she will unabashedly ask you whether you want extras. If you do, from memory, it's 40/60/80 for HJ / FBM+BJ / FS, respectively, with some downwards latitude depending on her vibe on any given day. I've had a happy ending for £30, and something directly adjacent to FS for £60, but she's always stood her ground at £80 for delivering penetrative FS, as have I at turning it down; though once I ended up tipped her an equivalent rate for a vanilla job particularly well done. I'd say here that although it certainly is possible to negotiate on price, the level of service you receive will, unsurprisingly, be correlated with the amount you end up handing over.
Assuming you pay the rate card, or close-enough to it, BJs are given enthusiastically and without, but with gusto; rimming will more often than not included, and yes, you will most likely be able to reciprocate if you don't look or behave like an axe-murderer.
Regular readers of San Ling reviews will know that several of the workers here offer bareback sex. I understand that this has included Alice previously, but have to honestly say that on the occasions I've wanted FS, or where we've drifted that way as a FB massage with rubbing has moved in that direction, she's always reached for a condom.
Conclusion:
An hour's happy-ending pleasure here can cost from as little as c.£75, which seems to be about lower end of what you might expect anywhere. 'Upgrade' to FS and it's unlikely that you will pay much less than £115-£125 ph, and, as I've pointed out in the comments of other reviews, this compares unfavourably with the £120-£140 that we can not unusually pay for an hour's wall-to-wall FS with the a regular WG, who will often be more conventionally appealing (to many of us) than a 40+ year old lady.
The grotty premises and poor maintenance do nothing to redress that situation, and so I often find myself wondering why I have patronised this place as often as I have. The answer, it seems, amounts to something like 'convenience'. Unlike other massage places where turnover of staff means we're sometimes unsure if our beloved extras will be be available or not, San Ling provides as good as a guarantee, and at the more full-throated, least inhibited end of the spectrum. Similarly, and perhaps unlike many other places, if you want to engage in overt sex from the outset, we don't necessarily have to go through the massage here.
Doubtless this won't be my last visit here. In that sense, I can commend it, with the above qualifications.
